Just lost our 1st to defects

[Honey3511]

I am 14 weeks pregnant and undergoing the D&C tomorrow. We found out last week our baby had a giant omphalocele (the organs were growing outside the abdominal cavity) The doctor's told us a giant omphalocele as 40% of the trunk of the baby, but ours was 100% the size of our baby's trunk. It was discovered at a nuchal translucency test at 13 weeks. We had a second opinion at children's hospital and today we found out the baby didn't make it due to multiple organ failure. We are very much at a loss today and currently they have inserted laminira sticks into my cervix to help dialate me safely before the D&C. We are devastated as this is our first pregnancy and we have been struggling with infertility for the past year now. We want to try again soon but we are waiting until 3 months to allow my body to heal and our hearts to find some sort of peace. The doctors said that would be safe. I am just worried that we will struggle again for another year or more due to the PCOS. We are not looking forward to this feeling as we had a hard time last time dealing with that stress and now to add this loss on top of it. It's hard as they consider this a 2nd or mid-trimester miscarriage and the body didn't expel it on its own so we have to undergo outpatient surgery. We had waited for 12 weeks as the doctor's told us we were out of the woods on miscarriage and could share our news with everyone. We followed up with a normal screening test and had no idea that they would find this defect (1 in 10,000). We have to wait for genetic testing. We want to have a family and I am not looking forward to struggling with infertility again. How long before people got their cycles back or before they got pregnant again? Any similar experiences?

My baby's defect had nothing to do with PCOS but I feel that the PCOS will complicate us starting over.

[jamie_rn_80]

Sorry for your loss. Last week we lost our baby at 15 weeks. They are currently labeling it "cord accident" because they really dont know what happened to him. I have the fear of ttc too. Message me whenever you want. I definately need some support from those who know what im going through.

[Nicole1979]

So sorry for your losses ladies.

[aramanthe]

I'm sorry for your loss. >hugs<

I lost my baby around the 10-week mark and as I remember, I got my cycle back around 30 days later (keep in mind my normal cycles are around 35 days so that was early for me). I am not actively TTC right now, and it's been about two years since.


Yes, PCOS will complicate starting over, just as much as it has complicated getting this far. You can choose to let it overshadow your efforts and dog your steps on this journey, or you can choose to deal with it as just another obstacle that you CAN overcome. It may not be in three months, it may not be in three years, but if this is something that you want then you can and WILL do this, with or without PCOS. There are hundreds of us here who are rooting for you, not to mention having the support of your husband, your family, and your friends.

My advice for right now is give yourself time to grieve before focusing on anything else. You will be thankful you did.

[Seets]

I'm really sorry for your losses both Honey and Jamie. I have POCS and no how hard it is to TTC. I have never gotten pregnant yet but pray one day that i will and that it stays. I am here if you both wana talk at all.

@Aramanthe great advice, and im also sorry for your lost as well.

[MB5]

So very sorry for your loss.

[mama13]

I am so sorry for your loss. I also struggled to get pregnant but miscarried ealier this month. I am now waiting for my cycle to return. And I am waiting 2 cycles before trying again. Dont give up or lose faith, you got pregnant once and it will happen again.

[Pumpkynz]

I am so sorry for your loss. I was nearly 13 weeks when we found out our babis heart stopped. That was last September... I had to have two D&C's because they didn't get it all the first time. But I ovulated about two weeks after the last D&C. And my period came two weeks later. We started trying soon after although we didn't use meds or anything. And then my doctor put me on Femara last month although it was the weakest dose so this month they added more. I am hoping to get a BFP within the next week but who knows... Hugs and prayers.

[jdivis83]

I am so sorry. It's so hard to deal with any loss and especially after things looked so promising. I also went through a missed miss carriage at 14 weeks. We had already told everyone cause I had good ultrasounds at 6 and 10 weeks so we thought all was ok and them sometime around 12 weeks the baby died. We have no idea why. Since my body still wasn't recognizing that the baby died I opted to induce the miscarriage by drugs to try to avoid surgery. Luckily it worked and was all over the day after we found out the baby had died. I got my period a month later and then the next cycle we did a round of clomid but it didn't work. We did get pregnant the next month though with another round of clomid. So we lost the baby in September and got pregnant again in January and had a beautiful baby girl in October.

[Honey3511]

thanks everyone. My husband and I are excited to try again but we are more excited to have 3 months of us time too. No temping, or OPK, just fun for us. We are going to take a HPT in about 6 weeks just to make sure my body has stopped producing the pregnancy hormone and keep on an eye my cycles but we will not active TTC until we have at least 2 cycles and agree that we are ready. We are definitely not going to push too far too fast.

I had the D&C today and the hospital was really great. We had to do a surgery as our baby was too big for chemical induction without going through full labor and delivery. They assured me that this was the least emotional way to go at this point. The doctor was even able to give us a memory box with footprints of our angel. My husband and I are so happy to have that as we will never get to hold our baby we have something to hold on to. The pain is minimal thanks to great drugs... Since we found out about the defect last week and knew that our baby probably was going to die we are relieved that we can begin to physically move on. I am encouraged to see success stories afterwards. Thanks for the responses, experiences, and support.

[Apple Blossom]

I am so sorry for your loss. It took a full month for my body to get back on cycle following my D&Cs. It took a lot longer for my heart to begin to heal. Take care of yourself, and take care of DH and your relationship. M/C can put an awful strain on your relationship, but it also offers an opportunity to grow closer together. Understand that you will probably grieve in different ways, and need more/less time to deal with your loss. It's good to hear you are home, resting, and feeling okay. I'm sending hugs!

As far as getting pregnant again, it's a positive thing that you've got your PCOS diagnosis under your belt. You're on Met which will regulate cycles, increase egg quality, and lower chances of m/c again. Enjoy your couple of months w/o TTC stresses. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship

[gapchic400]

I have the same fear. PCOS complicates most things in my life, and after a Chemical Pregnancy plus the last loss (Abnormal Uterine AND Ectopic), I have lost hope. I'm struggling to find it.

However, my OB pointed out some positive things - that we have ovulated, are being active in getting proper treatment, and can get pregnant. Now it's just getting it to stick. I told my doctor yesterday that I wanted "normalcy". She asked me if I knew how boring "normal" people are... She turned my way of thinking that, yes, PCOS sucks but it makes me appreciate the small successes a bit more than "normal" people. Best of luck to you!

[ejcelli]

I am so very sorry for your loss.