Well, it's official..we are in the whole TTC game and I am not gonna lie, it's terrifying me already.
I just finished 5/5 days on Provera yesterday and waiting for dear AF to rear her ugly head...I had AF with just metformin in January and February but March was nothing so that prompted me to get to the doctor. I turned 33 in January so obviously it is time to stop playing around and get serious. I probably should have started sooner but I honestly never thought I would find a guy that would inspire me to want a family (because good guys are such slim pickins around here), but I did and we got married in October. I went of BCP in August to see where things stood...basically at a stand still until my Metformin was upped to 2000 mg in January and AF came shortly after.
Like I said, I am waiting for AF to show up. Doc said within two weeks. I am to take Clomid on cycle days 5-9 and then on day 10 start OPKs for 10 days. I will be honest...I am not feeling very positive about Clomid. It seems like everyone I have even encountered either in person or online has tried Clomid for several cycles and had no luck or they got their BFP and m/c shortly after. Hubby, who is only 26, doesn't really get it yet as to why I approach TTC the way I do...he tells me to think positive but to me I am thinking realistically. I have been hard on myself though, I have been telling myself since I was 14 that I was infertile and would never have kids so it's hard to get out of that mindset and I have warned him that if we ever get a BFP he better be prepared for us to go buy about 20 brands of tests for confirmation LOL. So please, tell me I have the wrong idea about Clomid. I expressed my concern to my Doc and she said that most of her patient's do respond to Clomid so maybe we will get lucky as well.
My Doc has a plan for us. First the Provera. Then, 3 rounds of clomid ...one at 50, 100, and 150 mg. After those 3 rounds she said she will move on to the other drug...I can't remember what she called it, she said it was a newer drug for TTC that was actually a breast cancer treatment drug...Femara? Anyway, same with that one, 3 rounds increasing the dose each time. If we are still unsuccessful she said she would send me to a fertility specialist out of town that she works with. So basically 6 months of trying give or take. I immediately told hubby that after 6 months we would have to really talk about it because I don't know about a fertility specialist or just how far I am willing to go. I am trying to not even think of that at this point.
My own personal plan is to not overdo it. For the last few months I have been learning about checking your cervix and your cervical mucus and temping etc. but I have decided to try and stay relaxed, let the meds do their jobs, and just see what happens. Some ladies, many ladies stress themselves out over it and I think that ends up being a factor as well...obviously it is a huge deal and I totally understand the stressing and all that but I HOPE to keep myself calm for a least the first few months of trying.
I feel like we are cheated out of so many things with PCOS or have to work harder for them and instead of celebrating the decision to start a family, I am keeping it pretty hush hush and the only family person who knows is my mom. I have told a couple of close friends as well but for the most part no one will know until we have a pretty solid viable pregnancy
So positive things about Clomid? Anything positive please!!! I should feel so happy and upbeat about this new chapter in our lives but I am just not feeling it like I should. Hubby and I would like to have 2..maybe 3 kids. I have already warned him that I want 2 pretty close together if we can pull it off. I have always wanted kids but now, probably since the beginning of meeting my husband I have never wanted them more. I am crazy in love with this man and guess I am kind of old fashion in feeling like creating a little person out of that love is the ultimate way to show the world that love. Sappy..I know, but everytime I look at my husband I just want to make little versions of him LOL.
Anyway, here I am...in the TTC club...the sooner AF shows the better because I am so ready to get this show on the road!!!