How do I?? (PG Mentioned)

[anivan]

I can't believe it, but I am pregnant again. How terrible that miscarriage robs a person of being happy about being pregnant! How can I cope with my feelings of anxiety and impending doom? Has anyone here had a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage? I really hope it's not insensitive to post this here. I am one of you and I would appreciate advice from people who have been where I am.

[packerfan]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm sending you TONS of sticky vibes!

Well, being happy is tough at first, but it will happen. For me it was making it to the 2nd trimester that really helped, although I by no means stopped worrying. My first m/c was after we heart the h/b, which there is a 4% of m/c after hearing the h/b, I have GREAT luck.

I guess I was lucky, something inside of me told me "this baby is going to make it", I thought when I got my BFP I'd never feel safe about the PG, but my DH is an eternal optomist and kind of convinced me that there really is nothing I could do to stop a m/c, so why worry about something you can't control unless it happens.

Really what I think I did was stayed as busy as I could so I wouldn't think about the "what-ifs".

I have bad news, though, once you get over the "I'm not going to m/c" you'll start thinking about IC or the baby being still born, or birth defects, the list goes on. Worrying is normal, try not to let it consume you.

More sticky vibes

Kim

[anivan]

Thanks! I know the worrying never ends. I just don't know how to not fall in love with my baby immediately. It hurts so much to lose them! I'm just mad that I don't even get to be happy about this. Thanks again for the support. I know this is all in God's hands and I know I can get through anything thrown at me.

[baloogirl]

Congrats Ann!

[*Clarissa*]

First I want to say congratulations. We have a thread on the Pregnancy board titled Pregnancy after a loss. We have only had it for about 4 months, and already 3 graduats. The support is amazing. It has really helped me through the up and down emotions and daily worries. Please come and join us there. There are so many supportive ladies.

[kwannabee]

Well i just wanted to congradulate you too...and ditto on what Clarissa said!

Somewhere sometime a blessed cyster (whoever and wherever she may be right now) said something that i never forget...basically no matter how much we worry...it wont change the outcome...

i think thats my mental reminder everyday that i can only do what i can do...and since worry and anxiety isnt good for me or the baby...i try...'try'...not to... but i know its hard

so just hang in there...and take care of yourself as best you can. You'll probably be so sleepy anyway you wont have time to worry!

[mertletheeturtle]

Congrats Ann! I know it's very hard to be happy about being pg again, esp. after 2 mc's. I was in the same boat you're in. I was cautiously optimistic. I set mini goals for myself, like "let me make it to the next appt". Let me hear that heartbeat again. Once I got to a point where I could feel movement I felt much better about being pg again and keep thinking positive. Best wishes for you! I hope everything works out ok.

[SheriKCMO]

Congratulations on this new little one! It can help to write in a pregnancy journal, in my opinion. I had to force myself to do it, and it helped. Once I got past the point of gestation when I lost my daughter, I started to relax. Fortunately for you, that is a lot sooner! I hope that is a turning point for you, because it can really boost confidence that you can indeed carry to term. Once you can hear the heartbeat, it can help to go in for extra checks. Talk to the doc about it. Your peace of mind is good for the baby.

And yes, it's impossible to NOT fall in love right away. There's no way to brace ourselves and NOT mourne a loss, so just dive right in there and believe in your baby and yourself. When you deliver your plump juicy baby like I just did, write back here and tell the next person who asks this question--- YOU CAN DO IT, CYSTER!
Best Wishes,
Sheri