A good memory

[GabrielsMom]

In my support group, we have a tradition of ending some meetings by responding to this:

Describe one good memory from your pregnancy with the baby that you lost.

It always puts a smile on our faces as we think about all the things about our babies that gave us joy. People respond by relating the story of their pregnancy test, or an ultrasound, or something special you did in preparing for the baby.

I like to tell the story about my husband and Gabriel. I had rented a doppler so I could listen to his heartbeat whenever I wanted. Well, being a "fluffy" cyster, I always had trouble finding the heartbeat, even when I was over 19 weeks in the hospital... even the nurses. I think that Gabriel just liked to hide. But there was one person who could ALWAYS find his heartbeat - my dear husband. I would get frustrated trying to find him, and DH would say "give me that thing." It would take him about 5 seconds and he'd find Gabriel's heart, galloping away. I liked to think that Gabriel knew that his Daddy was looking for him, and would come out just for Daddy.

What is your favorite memory of your baby(ies)?

[SheriKCMO]

I think she must have been flipping to head-down at about 18 weeks, but whatever was going on in there, I suddenly had a huge hard lump poking out my side, and it was the first movement that was unmistakably felt by my husband.

[*Clarissa*]

April, Your story made me smile.

Both of my losses were early, so the best memory that I have was telling dh that I was pregnant, and the anticipation that it brought.

[TracyW2]

my loss was also very early, but my favorite memory was telling my mother - PRICELESS!

This is a wonderful idea for a thread.

~tracy

[Pamela]

With my first loss I was starting to show and I swear I felt my baby move (2nd pregnancy). And the ultrasound pic I have.

My second loss was an ectopic and really just telling DH I was pg again after only 7 months. I had surgery to remove it. What is weird is the doc gave me a video of the surgery!!!! So I guess I have that too.
Pam

[VivC]

I love this thread. I have three memories to share here:

1)The positive HPT, when just the month before a doc had told me I might as well get a hysterectomy because my cysts were causing so much pain. I took SIX tests. I just couldn't believe it. I remember calling hubby (we were separated) and saying, "I think we need to figure this out, because I need to come home." I still didn't believe I was pregnant until the blood test came back!

2)My first U/S at 6.5 weeks. There was Rivi, just a little blob with his heart beating away. I kept asking the doc for "Just a few more seconds," so I could keep watching him. And I cried the whole time.

3)Rivi would sleep all day long. I'd poke, I'd eat sugar to rev him up, I'd roll around in the bed - anything to get him to interact with me. No-go. But every single night, at 7 p.m., he'd wake up because he knew it was time for Daddy to come home. He'd start bouncing around like crazy, and they'd play the poking game - Daddy would poke Rivi, Rivi would kick him, Daddy would poke again, Rivi would kick him...they could do that for HOURS!

[Fairyflies]

My pregnancy loss was very early on as well, but my favorite memory was telling my sweetie and watching his eyes get just HUGE! We didn't think it would ever happen for us. I hadn't gotten pregnant in almost 13 years, but there it was.

[saluki_fan]

What an AWESOME thread:

My favorite memory from my 1st pregnancy is: the ultrasound picture, and the look on my parents' and sister's face when I told them. (We were at dinner.) My sister said "YOU?" and was just in shock. She thought it was a joke. Her husband just started laughing and saying he couldn't wait to be an uncle! They do not want children of their own, but I think BIL will be a "spoiler" uncle.

My favorite memory from PG # 2: going to a New Year's Eve party (I had gotten my BFP on 12/30/04). and pretending to drink. DH drank a bottle of beer and gave me the empty. I kept filling it up with water from a bottle in my purse. We weren't ready to tell our friends yet but I knew they'd be suspicious if I wasn't drinking!

My favorite memory from PG # 3: I must confess I was pretty skeptical by the time this PG came around (March 2005) and was waiting to miscarry. Somehow I knew it would happen. By this time, I knew something was wrong, like a blood clotting problem or scar tissue in my uterus.

My favorite memory from current PG: Just the fact that it happened on a rest cycle, the surprise of the RE that it happened on Met only, and without question seeing the heartbeat blinking on Friday the 27th. The heparin shots will make for quite a memory as well! (smile)

[Aprile78]

my DH was upset when I told him (maybe because I woke him on a Saturday morning ) ......... I told him before going to an all day crop/scrapbook day.

When I got home, he'd told half the family, and had cleaned the house Three days later, I lost the baby

[GabrielsMom]

I've been thinking about how much it helps me to remember the good memories and the joy. It makes me realize that when I get pregnant next time, I *should* try to enjoy every moment. Indulge in buying things for the baby and being excited. Every new life is worthy of celebration, no matter how long they live.

[Fairyflies]

Every new life is worthy of celebration, no matter how long they live.

Adrianne - You are SoO right about that. I think sometimes I get caught up in the "what if" or "why's" and forget that I was given a miracle even if only for a short time. That is cause for celebration indeed! Thanks for reminding *hugs!!*

Angela

[VivC]

Confession: I'm already buying things for "next time," even though I don't know if there will be one. Is that really crazy? I want to meet someone, settle down again, and have another baby. But I'm not really hopeful about it - that's why I think I'm a nut for buying stuff. If I never have another baby, I can have the yard sale to end all yard sales!

Viv

[Fairyflies]

Heck no that is NOT crazy! I have been eyeing things lately too, now that I can stomach looking at baby stuff without sobbing and running away. And I've been working on little quilts as well for next time. At least if I don't have another baby I can make a small fortune on the quilts lol! Nah, not nuts. Hopeful. And hope can never be a bad thing right?

Angela

[*DannysMom*]

April 2005-

What a wonderful thread Happy Memories:

Pregnancy #1: Telling my dh that we were pregnant. I learned we were pregnant after our first round of Gonal F and IUI. Dh was at work all day. So I went to Borders Book Store and found all the children's book I could find that included Daddy in the title (that's the teacher in me I suppose)... and a few children's CD's... when he got home I was waiting for him and one by one I gave him these clues... and he was speechless. At the end we laughed and laughed... we were so filled with joy. Equally exciting was our first ultrasound of our first baby and planning our future.

Pregnancy #2: Our ultrasound. We had complications and issues with bleeding... we had to wait until week 6 for an ultrasound... and to our amazement our u/s would show that we had TWINS. We were overcome with emotions. Dh would hold my tummy each night to say good night to our little ones. The memory of holding our son and daughter after their deliveries.

Pregnancy #3: This pregnancy was exciting to us as we believed we couldn't possibly lose another baby. We allowed ourselves to enjoy planning for the future. The memory of holding our son after a very traumatic entry into the world.

Pregnancy #4: I was having pre-ambulatory work up before a scheduled HSG. My bloodwork came back with a positive pregnancy result! I greeted my dh at the front door with a fancy glass of beer after he returned home from night class ... I told him to sit down as this was unexpected news.. He hugged me and we wept happy tears. We were shocked as we had never achieved a natural pregnancy on our own . We were overjoyed by this surprise- certain that we were finally being rewarded after our losses.
The unhappy part of this was that in less than a week I hemoraghed from an ectopic and lost my left tube.. the happy part was that I survived the surgery.

[Mich831]

Oh I like this thread. All of your memories made me smile.

My favorite memory from PG #1 is on the day of my PG test I didn't want to hear the nurse say it was negative (I did IVF for the very first time I was sure it was negative) so I told my DH that he should take the call and it might make it a little easier hearing it from him. Well, I had to get up at like 4AM to get ready and drive to the RE for the bloodtest. So when I got back I was really tired because of course I didn't sleep ALL night. So my DH was working at home at the time so I told him I am going to get some sleep.

A few hours later he came in the bedroom and whispered in my ear "Honey wake up." I opened my eyes and he was leaning into my face with tears coming down his face and he said to me "You're Pregnant!" I was shoucked and I asked him if I was dreaming. He said NO you're not dreaming...you're PG!

We laughed and cried and we were really walking on cloud 9!

Then my 2nd we did a FFT again the beta test day came and I thought for sure I wasn't PG again. I got up early again went and had the test came home again and went to sleep. Again I told my DH to take the call. He took the call from the nurse but this time she couldn't tell him. Because of all that privacy act stuff she had to talk to me. When he said to her "Michele wants me to tell her again" she said just go wake her up...she's going to be VERY happy so right there he knew. So I got on the phone and she said YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Again I was shocked. I asked her what my beta # was and she said 43.8 I said THAT'S IT? She said that's GOOD don't be so disapointed. I said OK but deep down inside I was SO nervous. When I got off the phone with her my DH and I hugged and cried. He said to me let's not worry right now...let's just enjoy this time and we'll take each day at a time. It was wonderful...Ah what good memories!

Michele