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Muahahaha!
My Boyfriend is Making Me Fat!
Well, that was a rather misleading title for the thread, but there is some truth to it!
First of all, my weight topped at 192 lbs. Then I stopped eating at McDonald's. Then a miracle happened: I lost 9 lbs. within the first few weeks of not eating McDonald's food. I was around 183 lbs. for many, many years. Still, I didn't realize how overweight I was. Well, maybe I did, but it would bother me for a day and I would go on with life. I had friends, I was smart. Besides, looks don't really matter, right?
Wrong. I hadn't seen my cousin for a very long time and when she finally saw me for the first time in a couple of months, she was startled at how big I had gotten. Of course, she didn't say, "OMFG YOU'RE SO FAT!" but I got the message. We started hanging out together and she always got stared at. Of course, she's a skinny, pretty girl with a big booty. To her, it was unwanted attention. But as for me, I wanted that kind of attention. I just wanted someone to look at me... in general.
Meanwhile, my (online at the time) boyfriend and I were in a getting-to-be-serious relationship. He offered to fly to me for us to meet for the first time, and all I could say was, "No! I don't want you to see me. Not like this." That hurt his feelings. I continued, "You know, there IS a reason why I've never had a real boyfriend before." I told him I was fat. Then I made a promise to him: I promised him that I would lose weight, just for him, and when I was ready to be seen, I'd fly to him.
And guess what! I did lose weight! I went down to 140 lbs. within a few months! We made plans to live together, etc. You know, all those romantic teenage dreams. I told him to find an apartment with a gym so that I can continue to lose weight until I reach my goal weight. (I'm 5'2. I should weigh around 132 lbs.) He actually did find us an apartment with a gym. Every single one of our dreams came true...except I never did reach my goal weight.
I STILL have never even seen this apartment's gym. Haha. In fact, I gained around 10 lbs. since I moved in with him, and it's only been 7 months. Why? Because all I've been doing is sitting, cooking, and some housework.
No. That's not why! It's because he loves me for who I am. When I first met him, I asked him if he was happy that I had lost weight before I met him. He said yes, but he would still have been happy if I still weighed 183 lbs. He's just happy that he we got to meet.
That's where the title of this thread comes in. And I know there's no one to blame but myself, but...
For once someone notices me and loves me for who I am, not just as a friend, but as a girlfriend, as a soulmate, and it feels good. It feels like I don't have to try, anymore, to be accepted. I don't have to try to be pretty and skinny just so that someone notices me. I actually have someone who looks forward to seeing me, kissing me, and holding me when he gets home, no matter how fat or hairy I am. I don't have to deny myself of anything anymore because I now have what I've always wanted.
And it's so wrong of me to think like that. To think how much I am loved should reflect how much I exercise or how much I watch what I eat.
Thus today marks the beginning of my new diet. I did it once, I can do it again!
And I know I should "do it for myself," but that has never worked. So, here I go again, doing it for him.
Last edited by Dirty_Keyboard; 09-11-2005 at 11:38 AM.
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I'm gonna go with the cliche of do it for yourself and not him, too. Think about it- your health is way more important and will make you happier in the LONG run! But I SOOO know how you feel!!
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You're a very cute girl. I understand the angst about gaining weight when in a happy relationship...I put on like 30 pounds in the first year of marriage! Eeek! And DH couldn't care less, which in a sick way gives me less incentive to lose. But then, if he was pressuring me, I'd feel much worse.
I agree with the line about do it for you. PCOS is such a pain and diet and exercise really do help.
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You are so cute in all those pictures! I can totally understand your difficulty doing it for you, because I'm completely the same. When I gain weight, my boyfriend tells me it's just my body that is changing, not me. When I argue that my body is part of me, he says "And that's why I love it at any weight!" It feels so good to be loved unconditionally, but it's not so good for motivation! I usually have to think of something as being for someone else in order to really kick myself in the butt and get going!
Do it for BOTH of you. Do it for yourself, to be healthier and feel better. And do it for him, because I know he will be thrilled to see how happy you are when you achieve your goal!
"Aspie" means I have Asperger's syndrome, a type of autism that doesn't affect IQ or the ability to talk. Online, you won't know the difference, because you can't see me engaging in "repetitive stereotypy", like this: 
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It does feel great to be loved unconditionally! You are looking great! I would KILL to be 192 right now...only about 20 lbs to go!
My boyfriend is AWFUL...he sits at home and eats frozen burritos, chips and dip, frozen pizza and brings CANDY into my house! It really aggravates me, but I have my own will I suppose. I do usually have a TEENY bite. Like when he brought gummy bears, I had about five and they werent even good. He also orders CRAP while I order salad at restaurants. I think its sort of mean to do to me but, he loves me for me and that is all I can ask from him. He loved me at 279 and he loves me at 220. That feels great!
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I have been with my DH for 9 years. In that time I have gone from 105 punds to 176 pounds (++ now I am preggas).
My mum often says to me 'Deep down he really would care' (she has a lot of issues - my dad is very focussed on weight etc) but I know that my DH loves me no matter what.
The most important thing to him is if I am happy - so, if that means losing weight, he supports me. But, I know he doesn't really mind.
It doesn't help that he has a super fast metabolism and can practically eat what he wants! Argh!
Do what makes you feel good and makes you happy - that is the most important thing for you and your relationship. I think the worst thing girls can do is stress to their partners about how fat they feel and look. Its confidence and happiness in oneself that makes a girl attractive and sexy!
Good luck - sounds like you have a keeper there!
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Registered User
I think you are pretty in both pics. (I'm not just saying that to be nice either.)
You are a really pretty young lady. If you want to lose the weight and get to your goal then do it for you and to be even more healthy! I am so glad you are in a good loving relationship!
ME(35) DH(39)
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Concieved after 12yrs. Ended in a 'missed' m/c at 12 weeks in April 2005.
Trying to concieve # 2.
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DX'd with PCOS in 1991.
Symptoms:
Facial hair, Central obesity, Type 2 diatetes(completely controlled with diet and exercise).
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I ditto everything said...Ithink you look cute in those pics.
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