To my lovely cysters!
As I am sitting here tonight I can not help to think about all that has changed in my life over the last couple of months. I was diagnosed with PCOS in July of 2002, and wow, it has been quite a journey. I remember before I was diagnosed how I used to cry so very much, because I did not understand what was happening to my body. I could not understand why I was gaining so much weight, why I was not having my period, why I was sprouting hair in unusual places. Then, I finally heard the name, polycystic ovarian syndrome. I remember being sad when I was diagnosed, but also relieved, it was full of so much emotion.
Then, I found soulcysters. Such a wonderful place, with such wonderful people. You girls have helped me through so very much. I love you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. It is so wonderful to have a network of friends who truly care and want to be there for you. It is just so wonderful, thank you.
In addition to all of the symptoms of PCOS I had problems with my self image, I felt so very bad about myself...I still do often, but I have been on a journey of self acceptance. I remember telling myself that I would never meet someone who would accept me for who I was, because in reality, even though it was hard to admit, I was having a hard time accepting myself. I have been on my journey of trying to find self acceptance and self esteem for almost 3 years now- I have not got to where I want to be, but it is a lot better than it was 3 years ago. I used to tell myself I would never allow myself to be loved....because even when I cared for someone I had a hard time getting close...but GIRLS I MET SOMEONE and he is SO VERY GOOD TO ME.
I just have to share this with you...because you all mean so much to me. His name is Salem and he is 26 years old. I met him through some mutual friends. I will never forget how nervous I was on my way over to meet him the first time....actually, the first time I chickened out because I never thought he could like me. But for some reason, I decided the second time that he wanted to meet that I was going to go through with it, and girls, I am sure glad I did. Salem and I have been dating for almost 4 months now...and he knows about my PCOS and all the symptoms...and he accepts me, just for me...just as I accept him just for him. He is so kind and loving and honest and giving...and I know that I am truly blessed. I love the way he smiles at me, or runs his fingers through my hair...and I love the way he says I love you, or laughs at my jokes, and I love the way he says my name...and I have even began letting him touch my chin..this has been hard, but it is something I am working on.
I guess the reason I wanted to write this post is because I always believed I would never allow myself to become involved in a serious relationship because of the symptoms that I dislike about myself and consider flaws...but that truly is no way to live. I mean, if I can accept another person just for being who they are and for what is in their hearts then there are other people out there who are like me and will do the same....I really wanted to write this post because there truly are people out there in the world that will accept you, all of you...and all that you are.......and that person may see what you think is a flaw as being unique or even beautiful...so it is truly worth opening up and sometimes it is true...you just have to be vulnerable and "jump in." One of the cysters on my favorite quote thread wrote she liked the quote about love..."Loving someone is giving them the power to destroy your heart, but trusting they wont," that is truly beautiful and true.....and in an essence we are all vulnerable when we are putting our hearts in another person's hands.
There is someone that is out there for everyone...I truly believe this...sometimes you just have to let yourself be loved. I know I had a problem with this for a very long time...but I am starting to let someone in and I believe he loves me and I love him. I just wanted to share this with you girls, because I have never felt this way before.
Please girls...tell me about your significant others.....or if you do not have one, tell us about the qualities you want in your significant others.
((Hugs))![]()



, Bunny Scrubs, and lots of fishes.
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Jeff and Jess married 9.17.04


, married 12/02, Dx 04/04
(Chris~29
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I'm so happy for you!

