Is it wrong to want to adopt again....

[MaryS]

Is it wrong to want to adopt again so soon after finalizing on our boys.
My DH and I have 3 beautiful sons(brothers aged 5, 10, and 12) that we finalized our adoption of on May 28, 2005. I love my boys so much, each day I thank God for the gifts he gave us in our 3 sons, but my heart is telling me(as is my husbands heart telling him) that we want to adopt again, this time we'd love to find a little girl who is infants/toddler age.
My question is, how long do you need to wait until you can adopt again? Our home/family just doesn't seem complete. I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate the gift of having my sons, but something in my heart aches for the chance at holding a new born baby girl in my arms. I feel that I have missed so much of my son's lifes, I missed their first steps, their first tooth, everything, and I just want to experience that so much. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mentioned it to a friend and her reply was, "if you knew you wanted an infant why did you adopt the boys?" I told her, "I wanted the boys and will always be their mommy, I just feel like something in our family is missing, I want a baby." She of course told me I was nuts.
Will an agency even take us? I'm afraid that if I call the agency we used for our first adoption, they will tell me we are crazy and that we need to wait X amount of time before we can start the homestudy process again.

[~Traci~]

I don't think it's wrong at all to want to adopt again.

I'm not really sure about adopting through domestic or DCFS but I know that we've already looked in to adopting again from China (we're not even DTC yet & have already been thinking about adopting again!). For China, you can start the paperwork again 6 months after you're home and submit them at the year mark.

It's possible that they will make you wait just to get the boys adjusted to your house as well as to the idea that another person might be joining the family (which can be pretty tramatic to older adoptees, they may feel like you're trying to replace them or that they're not good enough). Maybe call your SW (is the SW part of the agency or seperate?) and ask her, it could depend on your state how long you have to wait.

They probably won't think your crazy and I can't believe your friend said that you were nuts for wanting to adopt again. I'm sure they have families all the time that want to adopt again.

Good Luck!
Traci

[mmariee88]

It is not nuts. Go for it! If you have all that love and can afford to raise 4 healthy loved children then go for it. Its just awesome that any person could adopt a child. Best of luck with everything!!!

[*pEaNuT*]

GO FOR IT!! Follow your heart!! *hugs*

[ahydock]

I don't know anything about adoption rules, but I say go for it. If that is what your heart is telling you, it can't be wrong. What do the boys think about a baby sister? I think it would bring the family together and give you all great joy. I hope you don't have to wait too long to get a little girl to love. She will be SO LUCKY with 3 big brothers.

(HUGS)))

[MaryS]

Thanks Ladies for your encouragement. I will keep everyone posted on when I get the guts to call our social worker from the adoption agency and ask her to reopen our home study, I guess I'm just so afraid she will tell us there is a waiting period before we can start over again.
We have actually talked to the boys about an addition to the family, they have an older sister who chose not to be adopted(age 17), they all say they'd be open to adding to the family. I guess the only thing holding us back is that I wish we'd move into a bigger house first, we are busy getting our finances better, so maybe by christmas we can start the process again, I guess I am just antsy to start again. We don't have a HUGE savings account like my hubby would like to have before we start the process all over again. We also need to decide if this time we will do international or if we will adopt from the state again.

[dna]

Go for it ! I totally understand the desire to be a mommy to a wee girl

Good for you for asking the boys I bet that really went over well

GOod luck !
AMy

[LunaAlo]

as a adopted child i say GO FOR IT!!!! my mom stayed on the list even after getting me so as to cut down on the waiting time before the next one.. and 3 years later we picked up my sister on the exact same day that i had been brought home on...very cool..