So I have 2 make a decision.Help!!

[Shyrae02]

Well its finally got to that point.. The point where If I dont change...its over. My boyfriend of one year is fed up..He says he cant take me anymore. He said I either need to change and work on my ways or I need to move out and we are done. I feel like crap. He tells me I treat him like crap and the thing is ...I know I do. I get so mad so easy, I get so jealous, I can be fine one minute and the next Im the meanest person ever. I end up saying things that push him and push him make him angry, and I honestly dont know why I do this. I dont want to be a bad girlfriend I want to get along and be nice like a relationship should be... but we cant go ONE day without fighting. I am scared to leave because if I leave I have to move 3 hours away back home with my parents...and Im scared I will be making a mistake. But he doesnt deserve this. I want to be better I hate treating him bad.. What do I do? Do I stay here and try my hardest to become a better person...or is it better that I just go. I dont know..Im so hurt right now. I also feel as if he really loved me he wouldnt make me either move out or change. He told me he loves me even when Im a bit*h but he says that he cant handle it anymore. He says its not fair that I live here for free and he busts his a$$ at work to support us then he comes home to a bit*h...Im scared...I dont want to lose him..but maybe hes better off without me.

[HOLLAND]

I hope things get better for you soon!!!

[Mazarin]

Hello!

You sound like your in a catch 22 situation, that you love your boyfriend yet you know your not well and that perhaps your mood swings are running what relationship you have left…

You sound depressed with what you are saying? Are you taking any Anti-Depressants or anything to perhaps try and stop the outburst and the feelings of arguing with him.

It kinda sounds like the relationship I have with my dad where as we just don’t get on, our personalities just clash and we can argue at anything, I can be a real ***** around him!

You obviously want this relationship to work and you know it needs help in order to survive and you obviously are going to be worse off moving back home with your parents.

Do you have a job? I know you say he works and keeps you etc, perhaps maybe a part time job or something just so that he’ll know you are trying etc…

I think what you need more than anything is to sit down and have a good talk to him about how you are feeling, but most importantly seek some help in order to save your relationship if that is what you want to do!

Only you can know what you want out of this, I would make some notes about what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy…. You’ll them be able to decide from that what you need to do!

It worked for me recently…

[*pEaNuT*]

I agree 100% with Alison!! I was the same way until I got on the right anti depressant yrs ago. I am 100 % better, and happier. I don't even take any anti depressants any more! *hugs*

[OliviaLeigh]

I know how this feels!!! My b/f told me I needed to work on some things (weight, depression, etc) or he can't take it anymore!! So, I got some books on PCOS, and started a new diet I also started exercising more. Things have been GREAT lately. I also stay very conscious about the way he feels when I say/do things.

I really suggest throwing yourself into a conscience effort on working on yourself and making yourself happy first & foremost - the rest will fall in line.

I hope things get better I'm glad you posted on here!!

I read Positive Options for PCOS in one night - it helped a lot.

[Mazarin]

I don't even take any anti depressants any more! *hugs*

Wow Carey that is great... well done you!

[Mazarin]

I read Positive Options for PCOS in one night - it helped a lot.

That sounds like a good book, I am guessing it's US based... sounds like a good read!

[Shyrae02]

Thank you all so much for your advice.. I think losing some weight and becoming more happy with myself will actually make things better... I hope at least..Im just scared.. ya know..

[OliviaLeigh]

Positive Options for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome: Self-Help and Treatment (Positive Options) (Paperback)
by Christine Craggs-Hinton, Adam Balen

You can find it on Amazon....short book - very good. I read most of it while relaxing in a bubble bath (gotta do things for yourself )

I promise if you are more happy with yourself & work on yourself, things will be better in your relationship. Tell him your new goals and include him - celebrate your goals together

[ajhyer]

Also, can you try to see a therapist and maybe talk to someone about what is going on? You should find out why you are acting the way you are. That way you can "fix" what is wrong and get the results you want!

[Mazarin]

Positive Options for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome: Self-Help and Treatment (Positive Options) (Paperback)
by Christine Craggs-Hinton, Adam Balen

I just spotted it on Amazon! There are some other books I want so I'll order that as well! Thanx!

[Thradia]

Thank you all so much for your advice.. I think losing some weight and becoming more happy with myself will actually make things better... I hope at least..Im just scared.. ya know..

Being scared is definatly ok. I think we're all scared when we feel that way.

I am kind of in the same situation...although my husband didn't say he'd leave, I could see the hurt in him when I went off for no reason. That killed me and I went to the doctor mostly for him.

I would recommend one of two things...either go to the doctor and tell them what is going on. Or perhaps go and see a therapist.

A doctor may be able to prescribe you something to help. Look at all the girls here that have been helped when they've found the right drug.

But if you don't feel you are ready for medication, find a therapist and talk it out. Sometimes they can make you see things from a different point of view and give you exercises to help you control some things. But it does sound like you could benefit from going to see a doctor.

Remember that it's ok to be scared. Talk to your BF about what you want to do and have him support you. That will make things easier. And if you can find a way to be happier, there will be much less strain on your relationship.

*hugs*

[Jaxanne]

I totally understand! My husband and I were having a rough time (before we were married) back in 1999. My depression and weight gain were hard for him to deal with. He wanted to break up, I was crying...a total basketcase. Well, one day I decided I was tired of feeling sorry for myself and went out and found a great job, that very same day. I also decided that I was leaving him; I didn't need his support anymore. Well, needless to say when he saw how well I was doing emotionally he was the one crying, "please don't leave me". It was great! Anyway, we worked things out and have been married for over 5 years. I am still fat and I have a hard time with my depression at times and I know it's hard on him, too. But the honest truth is you have to make an effort to work on yourself. And not for him either, for yourself. Because when I do eat right and exercise and make myself go to the grocery store, clean the house, etc. I feel sooo much better-physically and emotionally. Perhaps in your case, you would feel better if you got a p/t job. Please don't feel I am being hard on you, I am just telling my own experience. Your situation just sounds so much like mine did at one time. I hope you work things out the way that you want them to work out. (((HUGS)))

[LM01]

Wow, I hope that everything gets better for you! Let me just say that meds are my best friend!!! I am a totally different person when I am on my yasmin, I am happier and nicer to be around. Before I knew that I had PCOS I was like a roller coaster and my husband was getting tired of my breakdowns and mood swings. The minute I got on this BC it made me feel so much better, my skin cleared up, no more hair growing where it was not supposed to. I highly recommend doing that, you will feel so much better and you will be nice too. I truly believe that it is just your hormones and all the great stuff that comes along with PCOS! Best of luck!!!

XOXO

[Hezzer]

I also feel as if he really loved me he wouldnt make me either move out or change.

I know all too well what it is like to be on receiving end of verbal abuse. It stays with you forever. And as much as we hate the way we were treated, often the cycle continues anyway.

My upbringing left me with a mean tongue and an angry temper and I have been guilty many times of directing this at my husband. Whether we care to admit it or not, though, it is abuse - verbal, mental, and emotional.

My husband and your boyfriend do not deserve to be treated that way.

It is not unreasonable for him to want you to change or leave, nor does it mean that he doesn't love you. To say that such a request is unreasonable would be like saying that a woman being beaten by her husband shouldn't want him to change and she should just love him and accept the way he is and the way he treats her.

The fact is, if he didn't love you, he would flat out say "Leave." But obviously he wants to work things out if you can change.

The question you need to ask yourself is "Can you change?" If not, I think you should leave. He doesn't deserve to be treated that way.

It has taken a long time for me to have the self-control to overcome my ingrained tendencies, and they still surface from time to time.

The tendency to willingly hurt others with your tongue will not go away just because a person loses weight or feels better about their body. It's a pattern of behavior that is influenced by all factors of your life.

If he means anything to you, you will seek a counselor, therapist, or minister to help you cope with your feelings and express them in a way that doesn't hurt others.

I hope everything works out.