cold feet

[goodgrief]

Help! I've been married for 8years this coming Tuesday and since we've been married I've never concieved. I've been depressed pretty much the whole time because of this and my dh has been super supportive until now. After years of support he got sick of it all and left for a week. I was devastated but jumped to action a little too late. He came back but he's still distant. I've gone to therapy, started anti depressants, gotten a great job that has given me back my confidence and gone to fertility specialist. I found out I had PCOS and WOW doesn't that explain a lot about my infertility, depression and wt. issues! But, it's a little too late. My dh was encouraging at 1st for me to trudge on ttc but now he has cold feet. The years have taken it's toll, and now he's not even sure about ttc. I'm on Met 1500mg. and I hope to ovulate next weekend, is he on board? Silently so. Now that the moment is here he's so bitter about the wait. DH's I need your advice!!! Am I too late? Do you think he'll ever forgive me? HELP!!

[goodgrief]

I didn't mean to imply that fellow cysters couldn't respond to my dilemma, I really need some friendly advice! Write soon!

[tattwo]

Hi (((goodgrief))),

I'm sorry to hear about your pain. As you know now, pcos can rob you out of many years of your life. The good news is that you're taking the necessary steps to feel better.

Give your husband some time. He's been affected by this too. Apparently he loves you because he's still with you. This what you can do though. Print out some info on PCOS and leave it someone where he'll be able to notice it. He'll read it and eventually start to come around. Sometimes, we have to let men be. Since we're nuturers by nature, we want to fix everything. You've done you part. He knows you have pcos and that you're taking the meds.

Right now, try not to put too much focus on conceiving because thats going to push him away futher. Why? Because he wants a family but he's scared of trying again thinking that it'll be another upset. Sometimes we forget that the men in our lives has feelings too. One day trat him to dinner or something and just casually bring up how pcos is affect his life too.

[tattwo]

Oh just want to add that before bringing a baby in the world, fix your marriage. I know you've been ttc for about 8 yrs, but right now your marriage should be top priority. PCOS has put a strain on it. You and your husband need some time to cope and truly understand what PCOS is. Once you get your marriage back on track. Everything else will fall into place.

GL and keep me posted.

[goodgrief]

Thank you for posting back! I really need other people's opinions about this because I feel like I'm groping at thin air trying to make things right. The problem about ttc is that I'm on Metformin and I feel like if I stop taking them he'll say "see..You aren't trying hard enough" like before, but on the other hand if I get pg after all this time- will he shake it off? UHH! I'm gonna take your advice and give him time to adjust, he's good about PCOS, he actually got me onto to this site!

[tattwo]

Well thats good that your husband is very supportive of you. I think he's a little frustrated about not being a father yet. Continue to take your met and talk to him...not at him. He'll come around.

[ickle pands bf]

hello there

I cant possibly give you any good advice about the ttc issue, as me and pand arent trying yet

I know that she has PCOS and that it can affect her in different ways, thats why i am on here, trying to learn from other husbands and also lasses on here that suffer from the same condition.

Have you shown him this site?? Could you possibly get him to register on here to speak to us other guys??

I agree that frustration probably is one of a few feelings he is going through, though you have to remember that you have just found out about this yourself.

Hopefully together you can find a way of getting through this.........