Anger...

[Dee67]

Feeling quite a bit of it lately and not being the most nice to my poor DH


Anyone else felt/feeling this?


I don't let it take over my everyday all day sorta thing...but I'm just not enjoying being sooooooooooooo growly towards DH, it's not fair!!


Thanks....

[Policewife]

I did for a while. I went through a phase for about 2 weeks after the miscarriage I was angry at everyone and every thing. Angry at the DH for doing the slightest thing wrong. I'd yell at him for doing the dishes wrong, so I'd do them then yell at him that I always had to do the dishes.. It was a circle of just constant pissiness at my DH..

I think the reason is we're angry at the loss and they're the only one to take it out on honestly.. I mean its not like we're gonna call our moms and start screaming at them and DH is there unfortunatly I think they get the brunt of it. Esp if the hormones are still all messed up cause it can take a while I hear for them to level out...

Its hard hun but just take a deep breath and walk away and lock yourself in a room if you have to or talk to the DH apologize , tell him you're just angry and its not about him or what he does or says its just the situation or something to that effect. I did that and my DH was much more careful to read my body language and would actually ask me if I needed to be alone or towards the end started asking me the right ways to do things lol..

Poor guys.. Its all part of the mourning process and I think its completely normal.My phase is past and I'm now in the cry alone in the dark when no one is home or looking phase, finally took me 5 weeks to cry over my baby so we all go through the phases at different times I think. Good luck hun we're all here if you need us

[AnotherDreamer]

I get very angry sometimes, but I don't take it out on DH. I take it out on the universe, and feel like screaming. I take it out by doing art too.

I also write, journal, to try and get it out.

I suggest trying to find another outlet. Anger is perfectly natural, but it's best to find a healthy outlet for it.

Hugs to you hun.

[OrganicAmy]

I'm going to be praying for you a lot, for the peace that passes all understanding, and for hope and optimism. I don't know how I'd go on in your situation, so anger is absolutely understandable. Just know that your family and friends are there for you, as are the women on this board who have been through miscarriage.

[Dee67]

Thanks ladies......appreciate every word written *hugs*

[MaidenMoon]

I think I'm doing alright, and then out of nowhere the pain and anger just catches me by surprise. A few times it was at DH's family, then at myself, but right now I'm in the 'screw you universe' part of my grieving process. It's all natural after experiencing such loss... (HUGS)

[nae]

Before my m/c I was in such anger and felt like I was out of control with my emotions and I was short and mean with dh and he stopped talking to me and became more distant and that made me even more angry. I was like.. don't you know I need you? Don't you know I need you to hug me even when I'm this way?(saying all this in my head). He finally hugged me and the anger melted just like that and pain came to the surface. DH's get the raw end of the deal most times.

[Dee67]

*HUGS* gals.....it's always good to know we aren't alone!!!

[Victoria070505]

I understand the anger completely. I warned DH before it hit so he was expecting me to get angry at everything. I suprisingly was able to hold it in for th emost part. Probably because I have been around is damn mom for almost the whole time since the m/c. I m/ced the 24th the day we where driving to her house for Christmas. Stayed there until Sunday. Then they came here on Tuesday. They just left on Saturday. I snapped at DH's step dad. He was trying to b efunny but I was in a terrible mood and he was trying to pretend fight and I was about ready to punch him in the face.... I am so terrible. I wanted to hit him or something so bad in that instant. My anger comes in bursts one moment I am fine the next I am pissed at the world. When I went to my OB-GYN I wanted to hurt all the pg woman there..... I was sitting in the second waiting room waiting to talk to the doc and these 2 pregnant woman sat htere talking about their pregnancies how it was so suprising htat they got pregnant they wheren't even trying. They kept rubbing their stupid bellies and I wanted to rip their hands off..... I know I sound violent but I really am not, lol. Just lately I am so pissed off at everything and everyone.

[PCOSDC]

I'm so angry but I haven't taken it out on DH (yet). I'm just really mad at the world and how unfair life is.

[Policewife]

I was angry at the DH beause I always felt he wasn't sincere enough about being sad about the loss. Then when he acted like he cared I was angry for "humoring me" about it. He couldn't win

[Purple_monkfish]

I get more weepy and angry at myself actually... my man whines and moans if I take things out on him.. bah.

I find myself more angry at pregnant women, which really upsets me because I never thought i'd be so... resentful toward them. I'm angry at myself for becoming that monster I always loathed, the woman who can't stand seeing or hearing about pregnancy. Eugh.
Oddly, i'm ok with my sister... it hurts because we were due within WEEKS of eachother so each of her milestones is something I would have had around the same time... which is upsetting... but my main issue atm is another friend who I feel it would be rude to say "Please shut up about how healthy your pregnancy is already, just go away" because she's so excited. It still pains me though and then I get mad at myself, then I get mad at the world for being so unfair and think why? What POINT was there in me miscarrying? It achieved nothing, it just caused me unbearable pain both physically and emotionally. I already knew I wanted another child, I already knew how much of a miracle my first was... so why? You know? If I believed in a Christian God, I'm certain i'd be angry at him too.

I think what makes it harder, is that I honestly thought i'd get over it after all these months... you know? But it STILL hurts and I get the feeling will continue to do so till I get that healthy normal pregnancy I crave.

Only thing i'm resentful to my man about currently, is his dictation on when we can start ttc again. He's worried if I fall pregnant again (not bloody likely, af has been oo.. 3 times in the past YEAR?) i'll postpone the wedding. Sigh. 5 months to go...

Does anyone else find that their mood sort of... comes in peaks and lows? I can be totally fine for days, weeks even and the BAM, something triggers me and I end up totally depressed, miserable and sobbing. This can't be normal right?

A few months back, my man found me sobbing upstairs and of course, asked what was wrong. When i'd finished explaining, being a typical man, he naturally said "I didn't realise you were still upset over it"... At that moment I understood one simple thing... it's not so real to men, they don't see or feel the entire process as we do... they might feel a bit sad, but it isn't the same, it's not so intense. How could they understand? How could they ever actually GET what any of us are feeling? That loss, that failure... I can't be mad at him because what i'm going through is something he will never, ever endure.

[PCOSDC]

Monkfish: My sister is also pregnant and we were 7 weeks apart. I love her and I'm happy for her but it is hard. I have to say though that this loss has been more real for DH. The first two were early losses and he never saw an u/s or anything but with this one we had 2 perfect u/s and heard the heartbeat so many times on the doppler that he really bonded with this child. It makes it easier for me when he understands the loss I feel and he feels it too.

[Lnamreep]

Can I just tell you that it is nice to see that other people get pissed seeing the pregnant people in the waiting room? My recheck after the miscarriage I was sitting out in the waiting room 45 minutes past my appointment time, and I kept seeing couples walk out with ultrasound pics and there "new baby magazine."

I thought why is god punishing me by rubbing salt in a would that is not healed!

I cannot let the anger and the jealousy go yet (miscarried Dec 23rd). I am also consumed by the need to get my BFP again and am due to start again in February, but I just have this HUGE feeling that it is not going to work and I am going to be more depressed!

[shannashimmers]

I know exactly how u feel i felt like my husband was not sad enough and noone knew what i was going through I had it out for everyone. i just had to realize it was noones fault not even my own