Need Prayers from my Christian Cysters

[Courtney0126]

Hi, girls! I've never posted here before, but reading all of your prayers and encouragement for each other here tonight made me feel I could share what's going on in my life right now and ask for your prayers about it.
This is one of the most difficult times I've ever been through. I'm a junior in college right now and in addition to this being the most difficult time I've ever lived through with the war and SARS and everything else, it's the worst semester I've ever had. I'm in the Honors College here and you would not believe how they push us. Unless you want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a college professor they think you're wasting your time in school. So I have been overloaded with stress lately and it's been terrible.
The worst thing is, though, that I have a wonderful boyfriend who is probably the greatest gift God has ever given me behind his salvation...and we want to get married and we can't for 3 years (which may not seem like long but it is when you're on the other end of it) because he is moving to New Jersey in August to go to seminary at Princeton. He's going to be a Presbyterian minister. I have to stay in South Carolina and do a master's program after I graduate next year. For various reasons (mainly monetary) I can't go to NJ with him and do it up there. So it's looking like 2006 will be it. I love him so much and I just can't imagine being separated from him...I know we'll see each other but it's a 13 hour drive. To make matters worse, my best friend is getting married in 2 weeks, and tons of my other friends are getting married either this summer or next summer. My heart feels like it's being ripped to pieces, and I don't know how much longer I can keep the smile on. This is the most difficult thing I've ever gone through, and I feel like I'm going through it completely alone. I know God has a purpose in everything, and I'm trying to trust his timing but sometimes I just want to know WHY! And it's just doubly hard because we are Christians and we want to honor God with our bodies so that means...no sex til we're married. We've been very careful not to let our physical relationship go very far at all, but we've been together for nearly a year and a half and it just gets harder and harder...And I know this may sound shallow, but right now I have a pretty good body, and I'd like to still have it after we're married. I'm just afraid more of the PCOS symptoms might kick in and then I might not have it anymore. Right now I just have the cysts and the lack of af and some mild IR. I was diagnosed 3 years ago. I would appreciate your prayers on any aspect of this. And I'd also like to know if any of you have been through a long separation and how you handled it. Sorry if I'm not making much sense. I think I mainly just need comfort and understanding and prayer...that about covers it.

Courtney

[Yolanda]

Courtney, welcome! You sure are dealing with a ton of stuff right now. College is such a hard time, and with your health and your boyfriend and what is going on in the world on top of college, no wonder your stressed! It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders, and know exactly what you need to do, but know it's not going to be easy.

It's been a long time since I was in college, I remember it as alot of work and fun at the same time! Try to take a deep breath when you can, and enjoy your friendships and your classes.

I'm so proud of you and your boyfriend for waiting to have sex! What a wonderful gift you are giving each other. You certainly don't sound shallow for saying you have a good body. Be proud! Just try to take care of it the best you can, eat well and exercise. I'm glad you are aware of you PCOS before things get out of hand.

I'm sending you prayers and best wishes. God bless and let us know how you are doing!

[Courtney0126]

Yolanda, thanks for your sweet reply. I am feeling somewhat better about school now. I think I will get it all done, and in a month I can relax for a little while.

Although I'm struggling with it still, I'm praying for God to use this single time with me to help me develop into a better person and a better wife for Stephen in the long run. I'm doing my best to just give everything up to God, but it's not easy to leave it in his hands. I keep wanting to go check up on it!

As far as my health goes, I'm going to a new doctor in May (my RE left his practice to teach at Duke ), so please keep that in your prayers. I'm hoping he'll be as good as my old doctor. I'm also hoping to get a "real" diagnosis on this as I'm pretty thin and my only real symptoms are the lack of af and pelvic pain.

Thanks again for your encouraging words.

[jschmidt]

Courtney,
I just read your post, and I hope this will encourage you somewhat. I was in a very similar situation 5 years ago, my husband and I were dating while he was in the Navy and I was in college. We were only separated by 4 hours, not 13, but it was still very hard at times to see each other only once in awhile when everyone else seemed to have their loved one closer. We made it though, through my 4 years of college, and got married one week after I graduated! Next week we're celebrating our 4 year anniversary, and although we struggled so much with keeping ourselves pure for marriage, we made it to our wedding night I truly hope that you and Stephen can stay pure, keep lifting each other up before God every day, and trusting His plan. Since God works for our good I have no doubt that whatever He has planned for the two of you will be the absolute best, and He is definitely preparing each of you now for life together. Hang in there, I hope your symptoms stay mild, and pray for each other constantly. It will keep your marriage strong. Hope this gave you some hope!

Julie

[Courtney0126]

Julie,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It's good to hear from someone who has been there and understands. People are just so insensitive about it sometimes, and I know they mean well, but it's still painful for me. I think I am dealing with it better now, but I was really sad today. Stephen is graduating tomorrow, so this is our last day in college together. I will miss this time. I just kept thinking about how I won't have him nearby for three years, and it doesn't help that everyone assumes we'll get married next year when I graduate, and that's just impossible. I just keep trying to think about how fast the last three years (I'm finishing up my junior year) have gone by. I made it through my best friend's wedding last month with only happy tears, so that was an improvement for me.
On another note, I think I may have been misdiagnosed. I had been thinking this for some time, but after doing a lot of research I'm almost certain. I'm going to my RE next week to talk to him about it (a new one, my original dr went to teach at Duke). I have so many of the symptoms of endometriosis and almost none of PCOS. I'm thinking maybe a "wire" got tripped somewhere in my body that caused me to go without a period for 10 months in high school, and once I got on the bcp it was okay. My mother has mild endo and my grandmother had a pretty severe case. No one in my family has had any of the symptoms of PCOS, so I'm going to check into this further. Please keep this in your prayers, as I really just want to know what's wrong and not be fighting something that's not there. I just hope it's not both .
Thank you again for replying. It is so encouraging to know that it can be done. So many people seem to doubt that we can keep our relationship strong through a long separation.

Love,
Courtney

[jschmidt]

Courtney,
God can keep your relationship strong throughout your separation, you are right. And, once you are married it will be so much easier because you already had to deal with the stress of being apart. We were so scared that marriage was going to be really hard and stressful, but when we got married everything was wonderful because we already learned to share everything over the phone and appreciate our times together. I definitely think it made us stronger. About your diagnosis, I will be praying that you get a correct one, and for strength for whatever the answer is. At least you have a few years to get that straightened out so when you're ready for kids, hopefully you'll know exactly what treatments you need! We had always imagined having kids after a few years of marriage, so when I stopped the pill a year ago I thought for sure I would be a mother by now. After 10 months with no period, and then a pregnancy and early miscarriage, our marriage has been tested so much already. But luckily I have an amazing husband and it has brought us so much closer together, instead of driving us apart. Please keep in touch, enjoy your graduation, and look into some good cheap long distance. There is a site called onesuite that offers really low long distance rates, you just sign up on the page and enter a pin number when you call anyone. Maybe that will help

Julie

[LeeCee28]

I havent went through anything like what you are going through, but i have gone through lots of tough times and before i realized about god and prayers it was a struggle for everything, now it i just trust in god pray and know that whatever happens, happens. I have learned to live with "what dosent kill you makes you stronger" motto, and believe i am lucky to be alive! This situation is just god testing you to see how you will handle it! You can do it!! and yes oh yes, keep up with your health and weight before pcos kicks in real good. cause if i would have been dx in 1996. i could have stopped the slow weight gain and been able to maintain it! I was always thin as a child/teen. i didnt gain until i was 20. went from 100 lbs to 120lbs which i though was awful. then several months later got married and pg. then gained 34 lbs being pg. and lost most and my weight stayed at 123-125 which i thought at the time was terrible i am only 5'3. then when my daughter was about 3 my weight battle began slowly and i complained to my doc it took 4 yrs for a dx, i had never ever heard of pcos before it scared me! i started to take metoformin, after i had reached 179lbs whic i still cant even believe it to this day!! then after almost a year of struggling with weight and trying low carb, i lost 30 lbs and then a few months later got pg, which i thought would never happen again, ( also here is what i had been saying when i was 28,i kept saying that if i didnt have another baby before i was 30, then that is it i am not gonna have anymore, i longed for another baby BAD!!! I prayed and prayed!) then whamo i was pg for the second time, shocker!!! and now i am smaller now than i was before i was pg!, but i still am trying to lose 20-40 lbs. 20 would be ok, i guess. I am low carbing! it really works and so does metoformin. It helps with getting pg too! my doc kept telling me i had better watch out i might get pg, i just kept laughing at that!!!! who's laughing now hahaha!