does it really matter?

[Steph1628]

Hi, I've been diagnosed for almost 2 years. Recently my fiance and I just got engaged. He knows that I have PCOS, but he doesn't think it's very important right now. I know he's just trying to stop me from stressing out about it but I just wanted to know from another guy's point of view how you felt when you found out. Thanks guys!

[TxHubby]

Hey Steph,

I can tell you that, from my point of view, it didn't change anything. We were married when we found out that my dw had pcos. It was a pretty emotional time for both of us, but more so for her, as you might imagine. I focused on trying to stay strong & be there for her, and trying to keep a positive outlook on things.

If he really cares about you, then it shouldn't matter. When you love someone, you love the "whole" person...that means taking the good with the bad. It shouldn't change the way you feel about them, just because something bad happens to them. I know that my dw wouldn't stop loving me if I suddenly came down with some sort of illness or disease. If something like that makes you change your mind about the way you feel about a person, then more than likely you weren't really in love with them at all. It helps if you can lean on each other & keep a positive outlook. If you really love each other, there's nothing you can't get through, as long as you communicate and stay strong in your commitment to each other.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is that it didn't change the way I felt about her or how much I loved her. I never had any doubts that we would get through all of this and that everything would be ok. My dw & I have gotten through this whole thing - the same way that we get through everything - "together".
And because we worked together, and stayed strong, we now have a wonderful, beautiful, absolutely perfect 11 month old daughter, who has been the greatest blessing in the world to both of us.

So just stay positive, communicate with each other, and lean on each other for support & you two will be just fine. I wish you both the best of luck & I hope that everything works out ok for you !!!

[TxLady]

Does my DH (TxHubby) rock or what?

Steph,

Jeff speaks the truth. It should not matter. No matter how hairy, chunky, or whatever...it should not matter. And trust me, there are men who believe it does not matter.

I suspect your DF just is not sure how to support you with the whole PCOS thing - it is such a complex condition. But if he continues to stand by you, and tries to learn more and understand what is going on, then you know he is here for good.

Invite him to your doctor visits; share the information you learn; invite him to join soulcysters.

Like my hubby said, both people have to know the PCOS is something you both have to deal with. And together, you can.

[LuckyHubbie]

When Lisa told me, my first response was panic. I feared that I was going to lose her or something.

When I found out more about PCOS I relaxed. Maybe too much. It honestly didn't matter to me that she had it, she was still the woman I loved and it didn't matter a bit that she had it. I didn't encourage talking about it because she always got down. Well in some ways that made a few stresses between her and I. She got confused about how I felt about it. She thought, that me not caring she that she had PCOS meant that I didn't care that she had PCOS. See the confusion? LOL

Finally we got it straightend out. She figured out that I care and love her, I DID care that she had PCOS, and that it didn't matter she had PCOS, because she was the woman I adored.

[Poohgirl]

I wanted to jump in here and say that, True Love sees beyond.

I have been guilty of telling my DH that I feel like a burden to him, and that he would be better off with out me he could easily have any woman he wanted to and they could have children together. This made him very, very angry and he told me that he loves only me regardless of any condition I have and I am sure that is how your Fiance' feels.

Trust in the love he has for you and know it is easier to get through the hard times when you have someone that loves you there by your side...

I could never be with out my DH

[Steph1628]

Thanks everyone... it really helps to know that I'm not alone with this situation. Luckyhubbie, seems like he's reacting the same way you did.... It's nice to know that in the end it can work out. Thanks for the reassurance!!

[CandysMan]

the basics comes down to this.

if he loves you, it shouldnt matter
if it does matter, he's a retard.




-=mike=-

[cobkat]

When i started seeing my gf now fiance, she had already told me she pcos, as u can see it hasn't stooped me from wanting her to be my wife, so if he really loves u it won't bother him either.I wish u both all the happiness in the world, and may u both live together in love for ever

[cobkat]

Originally posted by cobkat
When i started seeing my gf now fiance, she had already told me she pcos, as u can see it hasn't stooped me from wanting her to be my wife, so if he really loves u it won't bother him either.I wish u both all the happiness in the world, and may u both live together in love for ever

The easiest thing to fear is the unknown

[M_19]

hi

you girls are sooo lucky to have such wonderful husbands/boyfriends. I dated this guy for three years, he knew I had PCOS but when he saw that i was starting to show sympotms such as hairiness, he called me a freak and dumped me! But its nice to know there are some guys out there who aren't as selfish.

[bandanna]

may i ask if your wives have excess hair problems? does it not really matter? are you not bothered by how much hairs women with pcos can grow - especially the beard and the moustache? and what would be your advice to women like me who does have more hairs than other women?

thanks!

[dreambaby]

I just wanted to say you guys are really great and your wives are very lucky! My husband was like that too for 9 yrs and now that his brother's wife is preg with their 2nd baby, he changed and is now thinking about what he should do in the future/whether to leave or not. I never thought I'd hear it from him, but he says he's getting older (34) and wants a child of his own badly! Guys, never change because this type of situation is devastating!

[Steph1628]

Well I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I do have the excess hair and since I'm a broke college student, I can't afford electrolisis and of course none of the hair removal creams ever work so instead I take the easy way out and shave the beard and moustache. DF knows it's there and he doesn't care if it's long, short, or stubbly... lately we've actually been joking around because my hair grows faster than his... I also have skin tags that I hate, but for some odd reason he doesn't mind them. All in all I've come to realize that he really does love me and as long as I like the way I look and the things I do, then he's going to love me even more.

[nygrlintn]

I am also very lucky to have a wonderful DH. We didn't find out I had PCOS until after we were married. I felt like a burdon to him also and discussed with him if he still wanted to be married to me he got furious and said " i took vows for good times and bad and if you ever mention this again I will divorce you" needless to say I have never mentioned it again LOL. I have alot of facial hair and he knows about it and doesn't care. Even though he does know I don't let him see me do the "skin maintinace ritual" and he thinks that is funny. But I have a little secret I haven't told him... I just got a rx for Vaniqa so hopefully by the time he gets back from Iraq I may not have the facial hair anymore!!!!

[Akashamoon]

I just had to jump in here and respond a little....my husband also knows and I told him sbout it when we first stareted dating to give him the opportunity to RUN AWAY if he wanted to!!Well,he didnt but I also won't let him see my hair removing rituals on my face,but now i ask him to nair my back!!Makes alot of sense,huh?I just keep thinking,"oh..how romantic,nairing my back hairs!!"it sucks and I don't feel very sexy anymore..I don't think he feels too attracted to me anymore either..so MY question to you guys is this..O.k..I know you LOVE your wives and my DH loves me,but are you still sexually attracted to your wives with all the hair,losing hair in the head and being overweight?I want the truth here...cuz I don't believe it!!Women with all the POS symptoms,especially ahving them all advanced are not exactly what the media portrays as the perfect women..in fact what we suffer with is every womens worst nightmare!!I KNOW no matter how much testosterone a women might have to increase her sex drive that looking like this is enough to turn anyone off including ourselves!!!My dH has even went so far as to walk in to the bathroom when I was shaving and tells me I'm doing it wrong and let me show you how to do it right!!How romantic is that!!!??And as far as ex's go,I've had two that said they were fine with my POS and that it didnt bother them and when we would fight and at the breakup,they threw it all in my face and said horrible things about my hair growth ,weight and losing scalp hair...something they said they would NEVER do and when I think of that,it really bugs me,cuz my symptoms are even worse now and I wonder about my DH...i have also heard that I am fat and lazy,when these ex's knew POS causes that too!!And no energy...Someone help me here,cuz my trust is gone about this stuff and I don't believe that I am still attractive sexually to DH or anyone...This leads me to thoughts that if a guy had the chance to cheat with someone "normal"looking that they would jump on it!!!Someone please respond.....