Self-image daily thread

[EMLY519]

Things are pretty good lately, cept for the pia af coming. I started a new job so now im working two jobs and im always tired but at least i feel like ive accomplished something after working. Now i need to start working out every day and then watching what i eat, i would be sooo happy to just loose some weight, i want this to be the year that everything falls into place...

[Naymarie]

So I know I'm the one that has to make my day what it's going to be... but today I kinda failed - well most of these past two weeks. I have so much stuff to get done before I start school again and it's as if I could have cared less because I didn't start any of it really. And I also am having issues because I didn't get a job that I was expecting to get. I was a total shoe in and had worked for this company in the past and know that I had nothing bad in my file. And we seriously needed me to get this because if we can't even keep the roof over our heads how am I going to stay in school?

I just have no motivation right now! I need to find it again; and soon.

[frustratedwife]

Feeling ok... more positive lately about my appearance. Maybe it has something to do with taking steps to making myself better.

[gaias_child]

New to this thread but I think it's a great idea! I deal with depression, anxiety and borderline. My body image has sucked today. My lower stomach has really been sticking out this cycle and I feel like I look like I'm 4 months pregnant. How I WISH I was four months pregnant!! But I'm not. I'm just...chubby and bad about doing anything about it. I shall hope and pray that I can make more of tomorrow than I have of today.

[frustratedwife]

Trying to work past the depression to see the positive today... so I didn't look in the mirror. LOL! Over all a pretty decent day, didn't really bother with worrying about self appearance much, spent more of the day sorting beyond the doll drums of feeling depressed and trying to change my mood.

[Naymarie]

FINALLY!!!! So the rest of things are still kinda crappy but whatever... you can only change things that are within your power.

But today - I got a letter in the mail stating that I'm on the DEAN'S LIST!!!! Man did that just make things so much better - at least for today!!! My next goal is the President's List - that's a 4.0 GPA... Gonna push through Summer classes to hopefully obtain that goal!

[frustratedwife]

That's awesome Naymarie!!!

I'm feeling bleh...

[Naymarie]

I'm back off my high - but thank you very much! I started school today and didn't realize how hard things would be when I signed up for the classes that I have. I guess I didn't realize that a Sociology class would be needing so many papers... When in heaven's sake does one find the time for all 20 credits worth of work? lol

[gaias_child]

Yesterday I had just...such a self loathing day. It was awful. I just wanted to crawl under my desk and cry. I'm trying to take today one step at a time and focus on loving myself as I am now...and trying to change the things I can control. Let's see how this goes...

[kristen09]

This is my first time on this thread. I think this is great.
What is self-esteem? I forgot, it's been so long since I had any. I find it impossible with PCOS. I feel like a fat hairy freak of nature. How will I ever find a man? I have said this type of thing several times on various threads, so I know I'm repeating myself, but this is how I feel on a daily basis. I'm tired of this life. Tired of hiding from the world. It's exhausting. Why should I bother to do my hair nicely (what's left of it), why should I bother with make-up or nicer clothes? What's the point? Guys aren't looking at me, and I can't blame them. I'm 32, 245 pounds, but only 5'1". And hairy, hairy, hairy (except on my head, where I would like more hair, but it's thinning out).
I try so hard through therapy and self-talk to get past this. Some days I seem to be better, but then it just falls apart, and I fall into a deep chasm of self-hatred. My friends try to talk me up (though they think my only issue is my weight, I have not told anyone about PCOS and the hair), but it doesn't help as much as I'd like. Maybe someday I'll learn not to hate myself and what my body has become.
I started going to the gym last week. My endo pretty much ordered me to go on a low carb diet so I started that a month ago. I must admit that since starting the gym, there's been a tiny improvement in my state of mind. Tiny, but it's there. I'm holding on to that tiny ray of hope. Supposedly losing weight can help with the hair issues, we'll have to see.

[femmecyster]

I am having self image issues today. I don't feel like going out because the sun is shining and I feel that it will magnify my flaws. I have been in bed most of the day and I cannot enjoy myself because I am feeling so bad about myself. However I am glad that I have somewhere to share my feelings without being ridiculed. Thank you so much!

[Naymarie]

So I joined this website called sparkpeople... it is something where I'm having to be accountable to myself. That's not working so well. It has become another thing that I avoid on a regular basis because I'm trying to justify why I'm still the weight that I am and why I haven't felt like I deserve the healthier me. My dr said that if I didn't lose 50 lbs by the end of Sept that I would be put on an insulin pump because she knows I refuse to give myself any type of shot what so ever! The bad part of this is I started getting migraines again ... oh yeah... and have been unable to do so much as walk up and down my stairs in my house a few times w/o getting sick let alone start walking my arse off!

Some days I just wish that I would have changed when I was younger! Now I'm adopting the bad habits of my husband... he lacks all motivation currently because of his jobless situation, which mind you he's not the only one in the USA w/o a job right now! gesh lol I know it can't be easy but still... as my therapist says... time to look out for me. I'd rather it be us though - but I am having issues getting him on board with anything life changing!

Tomorrow is another day

[femmecyster]

Just great! I got my monthly for the second time this month and this is actually the first time this has happened to me and I was wondering for starters if anyone has had a similar experience. On the self-image side of things I still haven't been feeling all that great these days about how I look. I mean just waking up to another day of hair has been just... mortifying. I have to constantly keep in mind if I shaved off all the excess and am left feeling extremely self-conscious if I notice anyone looking at me or if I am under the impression that my stubble is showing.

[Naymarie]

Maybe, finally, a little bit of good will start happening! So things with my and DH have been kind of rocky. We then found out that our Mortgage company started foreclosure proceedings on my BIRTHDAY! Yeah, nothing says happy birthday to a person like that, right?! My DH has been jobless since the end of March - but he knew that his position was only going to last until then. Being that people aren't looking at building new things very much right now the type of work that he does has positions open very very few and far between (Survey/Engineer Tech). He's applied for every single one that he's seen even if it meant moving to another state near MN. Well finally he's getting a nibble. A private firm wants to interview him on Tuesday!!!! That's the best news we've gotten in a very very long time

[Jane_Heiza]

This is a wonderful idea! For too long, I hid away from the world because of my self esteem issues. I grew tired of explaining how my appearance has changed over the years. If only those people knew how hard it was for me to deal with my own feelings! I am slowly recovering from my voluntary exile, and I am so glad I found people here who shared my sentiments!