Any Catholic's out there doing IUI/IVF?

[cdcm]

I'm just wondering...

I actually have had 2 treatments... before I even found out my church doesn't approve...

Well... I hate to be all about "selective" application... but I'm wondering... It's not like I can fool God... As if this whole infertility bit isn't enough...

What are the other Catholics out there doing? Do you ever feel like all the rules were written by a bunch of frustrated men?

[carmella]

While TTC my son I also had this concern, my Doctor's office was located inside a Catholic Hospital, so anything done in his office was approved by the Catholic Church. I know he did IUI's in the office, but I'm not sure about IVF. Also if you ask different priests they have different views on IF, some are for treatments and some against. But as far as I know THE Church is ok w/ iui's.

Sending you tons of babydust!

[cdcm]

Ok... knowing that they did IUI's in a Catholic Hospital... is very helpful... Do you happen to know if they allowed selective elimination if there were more than 2 babies... That's another thing I'm told I will have to do if there are more than 2 babies... DR. says I'm too little for more than 2 and that I wouldn't be able to carry to term... jeporidizing All lives involved...

Mostly, I'm just praying that I don't have to make that choice... 'cause... it seems scientifically the RIGHT thing to do... but my heart says otherwise... I know people have healthy triplets+ ... Anyhow... that's a whole nother issue.

[prunepie]

i think the church is okay with medical abortions if a womans life and the childs life is in danger..am i right>>?? i was born catholic but i no longer affiliate...good luck xo jenn

[helenquinn]

I am Catholic too - and Irish to boot - so add more guilt lol.

I didnt know that IVF was against the Catholic Church until recently, and I just ignored it. For me God creates life, he gives life. He gives so many gifts to people, music art and science. I honestly feel that He always has a part in the creation of life - the doctors are just instruments.

Sometimes we humans strong or frail as we are need a helping hand and I think ART (assisted reproduction technology) is one such helping hands.

However, I stress that this is my view and I cannot impose it on anyone which I did one night. I was manning the helpine for the Irish infertility support group and a caller - a devout Catholic was saying the same thing as you cdcm and I kinda dismissed the Church - which I shouldnt have had I am kicking myself over it since.

Our support group each year hold a service of light - (we light candles) for our "unforgotten dreams" (babies) and this year we had a Catholic priest do it for us. In 2004 we hope to have the same priest Fr. Jim (and he is gorgeous to look at - talk about eye candy! hmm!) and a Minister from Church of Ireland.

Another member in our group has a Mass each year for her unforgotten dreams! Check out the American Infertity Association Website and World Infertility Month - there is a piece about my friend Martina in it.

Hope this is of some help

Helen

[cdcm]

Helen... never kick yourself for having an opinion or an interpretation... this forum is just for that... and most others too... once a topic is brought up for discussion... it really should be open for discussion...

Most people already know what 2+2 is... no debate... It's helpful to hear what others have to say... (tactfully of course... hehehehe)

anyhow.. I was raised with the "The Lord helps those that help themselves" mentality... and the golden rule... so... I'm having a hard time with a ruling against this... (it's in the Roman Catholic Catacism... BTW)...

I guess, I wonder if this decision will ever change... and then isn't it a human decision???

So... Much to grapple with... I suppose...

Thanks...

Take Care...

[krsmith13]

My husband and I tried for 6 years to have a baby, but unfortunately did not get pregnant until a recent IVF procedure. We are thrilled with the new addition to our family and can't wait until the day we hold her in our arms. I think the catholic church is uneducated in regards to IVF. I am not sure if they are aware that when a couple gets pregnant "in an embrace", there are still embryo's that do not attach and are in essence "lost". This is life.. just the way it works. Whether pregnant by "embrace" or IVF, there are potentially embryo's that do not survive.

I have decided to no longer affiliate with the catholic church. If they can't accept my baby as a creation of God, then I want to have nothing to do with them.

[helenquinn]

krsmith13

firstly congratulations to you and your DH on the birth of your baby.

My little girl is an IVF baby and any priest I have met have been nothing but understanding and welcoming to Rowena. I was even blessed by an Archbishop during my pregnancy.

The Church or Catholic Church are just a man made group for want of a better word and your baby is still a gift from God and was made by God so I think He gets the final say.

If you have met priests who were not welcoming - so what - you have welcomed your baby and that is all that matters.

I wish you all the best of luck and enjoy every second of your baby, before you know it your baby will be a toddler. My baby girl is now a tomboy and I am amazed at how quickly the time has past.

Helen

[Ceebee]

Hi all,

I am a Catholic and I chose not to try fertility treatments. When I first found out that I had PCO I was very depressed. I wasn't a very devout Catholic. I started to go back to Church about 4 years ago and now I am very involved w/Church. I would have loved to have had children but it just wasn't in God's plan. I'm okay w/it now. I have plenty of nieces and nephews. I'm very blessed. I believe God has a plan for all of us.

Do I think the Church is just a man made group. No I don't. Jesus is the one that started our Church. Jesus told Peter "What is bound on Earth shall be bound in Heaven. What is loosened on Earth shall be loosened in Heaven." Peter was our 1st pope.

If you are having doubts then talk to your parish priest.

KRSMITH13, I hope and pray that you do come back to the Catholic Church.

[Jenny Z]

i think the church is okay with medical abortions if a womans life and the childs life is in danger..am i right>>?? i was born catholic but i no longer affiliate...good luck xo jenn

Negative, though it's an interesting subject. If the child needs to be born early, it needs to be born early, but everything must be done to save both mother and child. It's tricky, but this link will probably help out: http://www.ncbcenter.org/ Abortion is a very traumatic experience, not only for the mother, but for the child. I didn't realize until a few years ago how barbaric the procedures are. (I'll spare you the details, they can be found elsewhere)...

As for IVF, there's a good reason for the church's stance on it, though it does kinda stink when you *really* want a baby. I suck at explaining things, so I won't try but here's a link. http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=6604 (I think the main problem is that unused embryos are destroyed)

[lyoung1]

Hello,

My husband are Catholic and have been struggling for several years with infertility. At first I was very hurt with Catholic teaching in regards to fertility treatment, but the more that I've looked into it and really prayed and looked with an open heart to understand, the more I understand.

I am not passing judgment on anyone who's decided to do any of the treatments that the Church teaches against, but I thought I'd post some info to try to explain. I know the hurt and the ache that comes from wanting a child, and in the end, EVERY child is a gift from God, regardless of how this child comes to be.

The Church teaches that each child has the right to be born from two loving parents, and because of this, it teaches against any fertility treatments in which a baby would be conceived outside of a loving embrace. This rules out IVI and IVF. Fertility drugs are completely fine. And TECHNICALLY, IVI in which the sperm is collected during sex with a perforated condom (condom with a small hole in it) is okay, as is GIFT, because conception is still supposed to take place inside the mom. Also, the Church hasn't spoken yet in regards to adoption of embryo's that are leftover from IVF treatments from other couples.

The Church considers the point of conception to be when a child is made (it's not just tissue), and because of this, abortion at ANY stage is not allowed. I don't know what the circumstance would be if the mother's life is in danger. I would speak to a priest, but not just any priest. I would try to find one who is knowledgeable in such circumstances. If it's a real possibility, I would look into it perhaps before trying such treatments. I also wouldn't want to make such a tough decision Also, because the point of conception is when the baby becomes a person, adoption of embryo's from other people hasn't been spoken out against either for or against.

Last thing, I just found out about this institute last year but haven't really had the chance to work with them until now. There's an institute in the USA called the Pope Paul the VI Institute and the are devoted to working with couples experiencing fertility issues. They claim to have success rates much higher than regular fertility treatment. My thoughts are, they have more hoops to jump through to treat fertility because the Catholic Church's high standards (teachings), so they've had to go several extra miles in order to be able to treat infertility. I'm really excited to start working with them and I'm hoping that my husband and I will finally be able to have our own baby (fingers crossed!)

I hope this is helpful. I'm sorry to write so much, and please know that I'm not trying to make this more difficult for anyone. I just wanted to provide some information that I've spent the last couple of years looking into and wrestling with. And trust me, I accept it, but some days not too willingly. But I figure, I'd rather err on the side of caution. If I know the teaching and then reject it, it's not my priest or anyone here on earth that I have to answer to, but only to God. And if the Church got the mark wrong, well I'm sure that God will appreciate my devotion, even if it's wrong. And he knows what he's about.

This is a topic that there's some gray area, and where it really comes down to the test of faith and trust. Good luck to anyone who's wrestling with this. If you're really interested in trying to do God's will (according to Catholic teaching), I encourage you to pray to God and try to keep an open mind in regards to what this teaching is. Ask him to help you to understand, and then seek to know HIS will, and not to line his will up to your will. There is grace to be had with obedience, but at the end of the day, the only one you have to answer to is God. So if you're happy with your decision and feel it is where God led you, then that's all that matters.

[Jenny Z]

Thank you so much for that post, lyoung1. I feel the same way you do... we're early in our TTC journey, and I'm sure the IVF/IVI topic will come up with my doctor soon. It was hard enough to explain to her why I didn't want BC pills, so this should be interesting.

Let us know how your experience with the Pope Paul the VI Institute goes... I wish I lived anywhere nearby, or that they'd open a few branches.

[lyoung1]

Hi Jenny Z,

My husband and I are actually working with the Pope Paul VI Institute long distance. I'm actually in Canada, and they're quite far away. If you're interested in working with them, I'd suggest contacting them and see how you can work with them. We managed to find a doctor who (hopefully) will be able to work with us. She's about 3 hours away, but for us it's well worth the journey if this will help.

I can't post their website, but if you search them online, they have their own website.

Again, we're in the first steps of working with them, but we're really excited!

Good luck to you all, and God bless.

[Jenny Z]

Oh cool! I'll look into that Thanks so much!

[CHELLEB73]

I am currently starting my first IVF and have done 4 IUI's. I was born and raised a catholic. My husband even converted to a catholic after we were married. I am 100% comfortable with doing IVF even if the church does not agree with it. A baby is a miracle whether is starts inside or outside of the body. I myself would not be comfortable with the "selective" application, unless myself or the babies would be at risk. I feel that everyone has to do what they are comfortable with and not care what anyone else thinks. Good luck to everyone!!