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Thread: Buried my son today

  1. #1
    broken and shattered ReneeBeth has a spectacular aura about ReneeBeth has a spectacular aura about ReneeBeth's Avatar
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    Default Buried my son today

    I don't really feel like talking, but I guess I should quickly get it out.
    Daniel Benjamin Hearn was buried today. He was born and died on October 4th, and buried today, October 6th. He was born at 20.5 weeks gestation, and was alive for a few hours after birth, despite never being able to breath (he moved for a few minutes, then just had a faint heartbeat for a few hours).
    I'm not sure what I will do now. I wonder when I'll be able to go a day without crying. I wonder when I'll have the desire to eat again, or live. I just want to curl up in a ball and never get up. Basically, that is what I'm doing. Staying in bed or on the couch, and not doing anything other than cry.
    I still wonder why this happened, why me? Anytime something good happens, the worst has to happen to take it away. This was no exception. Why me? Why us? I was going to finally be a mommy. After 5 years of TTC, I finally got pregnant. I wanted a boy, and that is what I was having. I finally had something good, I was going to have the family I wanted so bad. Then it was all taken away from me.

    I don't want to talk anymore.

    Sorry if anyone responds to this and I don't.
    I just needed to get things out real quick.
    Do something other than cry for a minute.


    Daniel Benjamin born/died October 4, 2004. Ari Lev born/died May 21, 2005.

  2. #2
    Mommy to two angels misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23 is a splendid one to behold misty23's Avatar
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    I am so so very sorry I cannot imagin with you are going through. (((hugs))) my thoughts are with you.

  3. #3

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    so very sorry you are having to go trough this (((((((hugs))))))))

  4. #4
    Registered User angeltears will become famous soon enough angeltears's Avatar
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    My heart and prayers are with you.

    God Bless you,
    Angeltears
    PCOS
    Age 45
    No longer TTC--I'm Too Old Now (We gave up the fight)
    Still taking Glucophage
    One Fur Baby--Bridget--our blind cocker spaniel

  5. #5
    China Adoption Mama! ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~ is a splendid one to behold ~Traci~'s Avatar
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    I'm so sorry {{{{HUGS}}}} I've only had early losses, I couldn't even begin to imagine what you're going through w/ a late loss...

    Traci

    Married 7 years (1/16/03) to my wonderful husband!
    1 DD (B: 9/06; A: 8/07)
    2 fur kitties- 9 angels (Single Loss 05/03; Quad Loss 09/03-D&C; Twin Loss 02/04; Twin Loss 2004. All RPL testing "normal" No cause found ('05 & '09)

    Failed Gonal-F AND Soy cycle Sept 09
    IVF only option....starting June 2010


    2550mg Met
    100mcg Levothroxine
    Prenatal
    Baby ASA

  6. #6

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    I sent you a PM. I hope you read it.

  7. #7
    Loving both of my babies AvivaElona will become famous soon enough AvivaElona will become famous soon enough AvivaElona's Avatar
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    Oh Renee, I wish I could do or say something to take away the pain. I know how awful it is. I wish I could be there to give you a shoulder to cry on. I'm here though if and when you do want to talk.

    Aviva
    Erica -38, DH Sandy-38
    Dx PCOS/IR since I was 18, on 2000mg metformin XR.
    and missing Isaac Doran born too soon 2/2/04,
    and holding Japhet Asher, my Chili Pepper, born happy and healthy 1/31/05,
    and two lazy

  8. #8
    Sad and Happy Mom SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO is a splendid one to behold SheriKCMO's Avatar
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    Renee,
    We will always love our babies. It does get easier over time, but you should just let it all out when it comes. We all care, believe me, so I'm glad you let us know. Please keep in touch, Sweetie.
    ((Hugs))
    Your Buddy,
    Sheri
    Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

    First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
    Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
    Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

    Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
    Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
    Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
    Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs

  9. #9
    World's coolest stepmom Stormy77 will become famous soon enough Stormy77's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you.

  10. #10
    Registered User lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie has a reputation beyond repute lil lizzie's Avatar
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    ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
    Amber(25) DH (31)

    First injectables cycle + IUI Jan '07 ~ bust

  11. #11
    Registered User creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee has much to be proud of creme brulee's Avatar
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    I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through - my thoughts and prayers are with you and hope your pain and grief will heal with time. Daniel Benjamin will forever be with you and I hope his spirit gives you strength to see you through these intolerable days and nights.
    Sending ((((hugs)))) and healing wishes.
    DD born 2/1/05 @ 34wks wt 5#

    DS born 5/15/08 @ 38wks wt 7#4oz

  12. #12
    Babysteppin Cyster kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee has much to be proud of kwannabee's Avatar
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    Renee...as i read your words...i remembered...i had flashbacks even...and my heart goes out to you and your hubby. i can say i do know how you feel, unfortunately. Its been 8 months since i lost my babies at 20 weeks...and my emotions have gone through the ringer...but if i ever had anything to be thankful for...it was coming to a time where i could find myself greatful for the little time we had together, and to accept that in some way my babies were at peace. Its too soon for you, you need this time to grieve, but if you ever need to talk, or vent or cry or just have someone listen...pm me anytime.

    Big hugs to you...
    Kim42PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
    DD17-DS10yrs(preemie-30w)DDs(met,prometrium, puregon)DS4yrs

    Image hosted by Photobucket.com
    TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks

  13. #13
    Living for my babies... loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette has a reputation beyond repute loriette's Avatar
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    Renee~

    I know no words can ease you pain right now so I am sending you (((hugs))). My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Lori
    Lovin' my babies
    Miranda Desire~16
    Kayla Michelle~14
    Dakota Chance~8
    Tristan Sawyer~3
    Zoe
    6 Precious Angels~ Forever in my Heart

    Prenatal Vit
    Heparin 2x a day @ 5,000 units


  14. #14
    So sleepy Magz will become famous soon enough Magz's Avatar
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    Oh, Hon...I'm so sorry. (((((big hugs)))))
    DD 4/27/95
    DS 6/15/05


  15. #15

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    I'm so very sorry for you and your family. Please take care of yourself, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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