dauleah

I feel a little nervous posting this (probably the anxiety disorder ) but here goes. I've been diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety disorder (in my early 20's) but never on meds for it. Mostly I've managed it with therapy, and meditation.

Since my baby was born, I went through a period of intense depression, ultimately to the point where I felt like I was having a complete breakdown. I almost left my df, had feelings of despair that my life was over, I would never have anything, I was an awful/fat/horrible mother and person.. I also felt lots of anger and frustration, often followed by the feelings of despair.

Finally, I am starting to pull out of this and feel normal again. But..I'm worried, because during that time I -never- consciously recognized that I was depressed (I know that sounds idiotic given my past). Me and DF want to start TTC #2, but I am so scared that after the baby is born I will go through the same thing again Or even that I will under everyday circumstances.

Thanks for letting me vent and get this out...

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Trish - 33

Owen David born 9/18/05

MyBabalooBean

Good for you for recognizing all this! That is definately going to help you with your next post-pg. Can you start on some preventative therapy/meditation, perhaps with your df??
Thank you for voicing some of my concerns as well, that is what caught my attention. I do take meds for chronic depression, anxiety, panic and OCD and took them from 5 mos pg (as well as for the better part of 8 yrs). I didn't take them for the first 5 mos and I regret it big time. That is neither here nor there b/c we have to do what is best for ourselves and our babies. I still don't know if I will take my meds while pg next time. . . will have to see. I am also frightened of what I turn into without aid and how long it takes me to recover. I was thinking about that the other day. The man I am with now, the love of my life, has never experienced me drugless. . . I am terrified that should I ever go off them, he will love me less etc.
Sorry to talk about me. It is once again odd how another cyster is experiencing the same thing as me and voiced it while I was thinking about it!!!
Good luck! I hope that you find something that works wonders for you and takes the added stress off of you while ttc

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Drug regimen: Metformin 1000 mg, Celexa 80 mg, Ativan 2-5 mg, Clonazepam .5 mg, Epival 125 mg

Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4.
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