sister pregnant, husband insensitive. Okay, I realize I don't post, well, ever, but I feel like I need to get another point of view (or two) on this;
I got my PCOS diagnosis just over five years ago, and with agressive fertility treatment afterwards, my son will be four in July. I was a wreck TTC, especailly when my best friend- 6 years older than me (at 21, I'm 26 now), never wanted a baby before- got pregnant a month before I did. As you guys can imagine, my marriage, faith and sanity were all seriously tried, but the end definitely justified the means- my son is... words can't say how awesome he is.
So, last week, we went to the endocrinologist to try for another round. I was pretty proud of myself- my attitude was (still is?) that we've done it all before, we know what to expect, that it can work, ect., so I 'm feeling pretty good about the whole process, and the prognosis is excellent.
In the meantime, my sister, 19, was married in January. Her husband (27) works at Wendy's with her. He threatened suicide not two weeks ago, over a problem with his three year old and custody issues. This was only an excitable incident to me and my mother; apparently it's an old habit from his family's point of view. Today she tells me she's expecting. Yay.
I'm not upset, much. I am happy for her. Admittedly, my happiness is somewhat mitigated, but it has little to do with my being barren. I wanted to talk to my husband, tonight, about fears that I may not feel this way when I'm in the middle of treatment, stressed out, and hopped up on synthetic hormone injections. He said that I was "not in competition with anyone else." My anger at being violently infertile at 21 was wholly unconnected to my friend (true) and to feel it towards my sister makes me a "bad loser." When I didn't especially appreciate his take, he told me to call my mother. |