skipping work because of acne...

strongernow · 01-15-2006, 06:12 PM

I feel horrible right now..I am tired of this acne, it's just so bad to the point where I dont wanna be seen and it gives me anxiety, well all of the physical crap is giving me anxiety..I even made up an excuse to call into work today because I couldnt get my makeup to look right. Yesterday I spent all day doing everything I could to treat my face and breakouts because I didnt wanna have this problem today but nothing is working, I am on 200mg Spiro and it hasnt touched it yet.

*tinks* · 01-15-2006, 06:27 PM

*hugs* i know how u feel, you're not making a big deal out of it, but in my experience you often think it is worse than it actually is/appears to everyone else. having said that i often felt i couldn't go out of the house, and recently with taking provera my skin has been really awful again and i have not wanted to go out, but i have put make-up on and covered them up the best i can and gone out and its not as bad as i thought it would be - i find i forget about it and it often helps to get out (apart from when i look in the mirror) but trust me u 'll think it looks worse than it actually is. your boyfriend obviously thinks you are gorgeous, try not to worry what everyone else thinks. mine has started to clear a bit but still looks like ive got loads of spots on my chin and there are a few more, but not quite as big. i'm going back to uni tomorrow for the start of the new term - but am really worried cos of my skin, have put it off as long as poss, lots of my friends are back already. i find drinking lots of water, taking exercise and massaging my face when i wash it morning and night helps - have u tried cidal soap?
also have u tried vitex or EPO ?- they often help with hormonal acne (on chin and jawline -( i had to stop taking the vitex while ive been on the provera, but now ive started it again think its helping. )
u r not alone!

*Shellie_Star* · 01-15-2006, 08:15 PM

I just want you know that you're not alone, I can totally relate to this and I hope you feel more confident soon and your acne improves.

Last year I had terrible anxiety problems due to acne. I think it had been building up over a few years. I rarely went out much as I was paranoid about my face. I would only go to work and anywhere else only when absolutely necessary. I didn't see my closest friends or family for years as I felt ashamed of my face, I wouldn't go to gatherings or nights out etc.,. I would not even answer the front door, even to the postman dropping off mail. I eventually had such anxiety and confidence problems that I left my job, would not answer the telephone and did not leave the house unless for vital shopping or I pulled a baseball hat right down over my face and put a hood up.

I'm saying all this because I've overcome alot of it and I don't want you to be like I became. It is a big deal to us and you naturally think everyone notices/looks at it but I'm sure you have many other beautiful features and shining personailty which people notice instead of the acne so make the most of them

I still have acne and my skin is very uneven tones because of it and the last few months it's been at it's worst. I started to overcome it when I had an important formal party to go to in October, I totally didn't want to go, I was so scared that everyone would be starring and thinking my face was disgusting but I made myself and I made a pact with myself to go and pretend to be confident despite what I was feeling inside and on my face.

Making myself do that got me on the road to gaining real confidence again. Those people didn't know I wasn't really confident inside and that I was panicking what they thought and yea they saw the acne but I'm pretty sure after they initially thought 'acne/spots' that it did not cross their minds again.

Sorry if this has been of no help but I wanted to share my story in the hope that it helps in some way.

Stay stong

x

x

strongernow · 01-15-2006, 09:45 PM

Thank you both very much for your stories, they do make me feel not alone on this..
I think I may not have such a problem with it if my skin wasnt so fair and usually clear..so when I break out its very noticeable to people I know. My brother has made fun of me in the past, we joke around and stuff but it still hurt my feelings because I know he is the one who says what other people think to me. It's painful as well..so I just feel like I should lay low until I can cover it up. I hate this, I just want it to go away..I will suck it up sometimes and go out but when I catch a glimpse of myself it makes me wanna go back into hiding. I despise flourescent lighting because of this too.

KatrinaAnne · 01-15-2006, 10:05 PM

Big Hugs to you sweetheart, I know exactly what you are feeling and my heart breaks for you...as I too have been in the same situation, except with the hair growth on my face.

My excess hair causes me anxiety too...and there is so much that I want to do....but sometimes I feel it hols me back....I wish I could say something that could take away the anxiety and the hurt you are feeling...but by no means are you alone sweetheart.

I am working on the my path to self acceptance...I just want to feel free...and once I completely accept myself...all of me.....I will be free....just know you are loved and you are beautiful....

::HUGS::

arcane · 01-16-2006, 12:28 AM

I feel the same way with excess hair. It's just so out there and visible and I worry people are staring at my face. Cystic acne is something that I have not personally battled but I can imagine that the feelings are similar. Hugs!

strongernow · 01-16-2006, 01:32 AM

thanks girls..yes I also have had hair on my face, blonde but courser. It really is debilitating, I just had a breakdown tonight really badly. My boyfriend keeps pushing me to go to this party with his roomates and I keep telling him I dont wanna be around anyone, that I am not feeling good about myself today.. he lives an hour from me around Boston, I said I would get ready and took an hour to try and put makeup on to no avail, my overall feeling about my appearance is so low..so i start crying getting frusterated and tell him to go without me..my dad comes home yelling at me asking me whats wrong and I lose it cause I am tired of being told whats wrong. What am I gonna say? "I feel disgusting" so they can laugh and say I'm fine because they dont know the extent of hurt this causes and just think all girls overdramatize the way they feel about their appearance. I just want to be normal! I dont want to have to worry about all this crap anymore, I wanted to scream and throw things, nothing I do for my body is working.

it doesnt help that I just got my AF, by myself which is the only thing I am happy about, and have terrible PMS..probably why my face is so bad now.

mandypurdue · 01-17-2006, 06:34 AM

Hi, I just want you to know I am in the same place as you. I used to be pretty and sometimes I think that no one I used to know would even recognize me now because of the acne/scarring that pcos has left me with. I would stay home like you certain days that were really awful but worst of all was the fact that my face literally hurt. I still get them here and there when af comes but in Nov. I went to a dermatologist and he put me on some antibiotics and my face is 100% better than it was. I just couldn't take it anymore, mostly the pain of those cystic ones! ouch! Anyway, I really hope that something happens for you and you get some relief. Good luck to you. I am getting lasered on monday to help with the little pock marks that a few of the cystic ones have left me with. It really isn't that expensive so I am going for it. I know I need to accept myself but acne is different. It's like saying accept your injuries or something because they are like injuries. I want them to go away and get better...I don't want to accept them. Hugs to you!

ScaredSally · 01-17-2006, 12:44 PM

I just wanted to say I know how you feel totally about wanting to stay home and not go into work ... I dont have acne but I have male pattern baldness ... teh anxiety I get everyday is truly horrific .. palpitations, if someone looks at me on the tube I KNOW they are looiing at my head.. PCOS has made a once good looking woman into a total minger...

Big hugs

strongernow · 01-17-2006, 05:34 PM

ScaredSally- I've read all your posts and my heart melts about your hairloss, because I also am now losing mine, Infact I have a Derm appointment today because it is getting so bad,when I bend over you can literally see a bald spot on the top of my hairline and my scalp throughout the top..all of these things are driving me nuts..and the stress isnt helping the hairloss or acne!

Mandy- Don't say you "used to be pretty" regardless of our symptoms and things that we have to go through lengths to hide and deal with we are all still beautiful..it is society that makes us feel terrible about ourselves, who knows this could all be the natural evolution or something and we are fighting it..

**Nina** · 01-17-2006, 08:09 PM

I can totally relate. I have acne that is horrible and itch on my face. I want to let you know that you aren't alone.

zelda · 01-19-2006, 09:00 PM

been there! i actually had someone say to me "...but you used to be so pretty!" yup, there are times when i just want to crawl into a hole.

what does your doctor say? maybe you could switch to another antiandrogenic pill if spiro isn't working for your skin.

artistic1 · 01-19-2006, 10:25 PM

I have really bad skin too; but I find that Netrogena soap / for oily skin or normal works really well; I also am on Diane 35 (helped a little) and I use Dalacyn T Topical Solution - you will need to go to your doctor to get a prescription for it; it works really well! And I get big cystic ones too; but all of these meds in combination work to ward off new breakouts / clear them up really really fast!

zelda · 01-20-2006, 10:42 AM

oh, i also wanted to say that cyperatone acetate (in diane-35 or by itself) is the least acnegenic of all of the antiandrogens.

polka_dot_guts · 01-20-2006, 10:53 AM

neutrogena works SO well!
I always wondered why I got those HUGEcrazy cystic zits, ah GOD i hated them.
I can't beleive it's a symptom of PCOS.
it's just like it all fits in finally.

At Thanksgiving last year, I had a huge one on my face right next to my nose. It looked like I was growing another shnoz! and the one i've got is alllready big enough beleive me. :eyeroll:
so the first thing my grandmother says to me (whom I hadn't seen for months) is "ohh you gotta widdle pimple!"
she's not the most tactful woman on earth, but at least she lied and called it "widdle." my family is strange.
that was the last one i had after I started using a new neutrogena solution and several st. ives formulas, plus a three in one pack....ah i'll repost it with the product info in the morning, my head is pounding.
jen