I always knew I was different than most people. I wasn't surprised when my doctor told me that I had PCOS. I've had some major mood swings really bad in the last year or two. I went into therapy for about 4 months. After a short while my therapist told me I had a personality disorder and suggest I get on medication. First of all, I absolutely hate when people try to lable me. Second, there has been a lot of stress and changes in my life and I don't think that drugs really make the situation better. I really didn't feel that I was getting anywhere with her so I terminated my remaining sessions. After being diagnosed with PCOS I am finding myself more anxious and stressed than ever before. PCOS brings a lot of baggage and I'm still very confused about it all. I don't really know anyone who personally has this. My sister has some of the same symptoms but refuses to find out. I have no one to talk to. My family has instructed me to keep my mouth shut about it all. It's too private to talk about. It's not like I want to blurt it out that I have PCOS to eveyone, but I don't like feeling like I have to keep it a secret. I'm sad, mad, and unbelievably lonely. I don't think that makes me a mental case. I don't like medication. I just wish I knew how to make myself feel better.
I remember when the symptoms started getting bad, and I talked to my one (and only) friend about them and she completely blew me off. So I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to. The thing I do that makes me feel better about PCOS (I can't afford to pay for an official diagnosis, but I have a few of the more unattractive symptoms), is to put things into perspective. Life can make things crappy for a whole range of people, in a whole range of ways. You can't beat yourself up for something that is out of your control. I felt better after changing my diet, and exercising alot more. It just felt good to know that I had some control over things in my life. I like to do little things for myself every once in a while too. I'm not recommending shopping splurges, but sometimes it's nice to buy/do a little something something for yourself. I have quite a collection of different face masks growing. On those days where I feel overwhelmed, I just put on a face mask, and hop in the tub to relax. I also think this is a good place to vent, especially on those days when you feel like it's all too much. Alot of the women here know exactly what you're going through.
I'll admit that I still struggle with my emotions, and my self-esteem, but I don't think I'm hopeless. I don't think you are either. Just hang in there!
Trishajb, Sounds like your anger is your main emotion right now. Perhaps, medication is not an option you would like to take, but think of it like this. If you had a heart problem and you doctor told you to take heart medication each day to live a long and healthy life, you would do it right? Of course you would! Who wouldn't? My point is that many people have a preconceived notion of mental illness and don't want to be in the same category that they have put those labels on. I think it odd that you felt labeled by your doctor's diagnosis. Here is an unbiased professional who is trying to help you, but you have placed your own labels on people with these conditions and therefore do not want to be associated with the labels that you in fact created. In reality mental illness is in fact more of a physical problem. If your body is does not produce chemicals in the right amounts, it makes you feel a certain way mentally. These chemical imbalances can be treated with medication (like a heart problem). Just because you don't like the idea of medication does not mean you should write it off as a viable treatment option. I stated this in another message, but think of it as a short term friend, when you need it, it is there and when you don't it is in the wings in case you do need it.
Now that said I am not saying to run out and change your views in medication, just to think about it in a different way. The only people who can understand what you are going through are people who face the same issues.
Some things that can help naturally help are taking an omega fatty acids supplements, switching to organic dairy and meat (these don't have the hormones of regular dairy and meat and therefore effect you less) and exercise. Healthy diet and exercise is important to physical and mental health. Try to be more open to the things that can help you.
Best of luck
The only reason to get on medication (for depressed/etc) is if you feel like you need to numb some of this. Since that's the only feeling I've felt on meds like that. It just numbs you but it doesn't take away the stress really. Since how can it? It's with you everyday. If it's not your health, it's your family, or friends. It's always something there that the meds can't remove.
Don't feel alone though. I've been told I was nuts many times. Almost got put into some home as a teenager because the doctor thought I was making up my pain. I sure as hell wasn't. As if I wanted to live with such awfulness. Not many people realize this affects your whole life. There's no magic pill to cure it. We try to treat what's going on but there's only so much we can do. There should be more people pushing to get more answers, or at least teach doctors about how to pick up on this. Since I've seen a lot of doctors and a lot FAILED me. It also annoys me when people act like it's a shock that you might be depressed over how many pills you take. Well, at least in my case. No one realizes the load it is to carry. To know I am at high risk and to have to check so many things to make sure things aren't completely out of control. My levels have gotten a little better, but that didn't happen overnight. It took a lot of work on my part and a lot of stress comes with it. Since life still was going on.
Your sister is being foolish by not getting checked out though. That can run in the family and she may end up with a lot more problems. Problems that can be life or death. Since PCOS can bring on cancer, diabetes and heart issues. Thankfully, you're being treated for it. (or so I think-?) Just as I am. We'd really be screwed if we weren't getting some help. Since if you don't get some of the levels down your body basically breaks down on you. Although, that's going to have to be her cross to bare and not yours. She's choosing to be foolish. You can try to talk to her about it once more, but if she refuses help than she's choosing not to accept it. You can't really help someone not willing to take it.
You need to take time on working on yourself. It's going to be hard, but it's something that you need to do. Since clearly your family is trying to keep everything hush hush. Which is really not right either. It's not like you went and cought this from someone. You were born with this. It lays within your dna somewhere. Time to take care of yourself. Since most people will not understand the best place to find some peace is within yourself. Get online learn about what's going on with yourself. Talk to the doctors. Take the pills. I find it's easier to talk to strangers sometimes about it than family, or friends. Thankfully, there is a board like this for girls like us. I hope you can find some inner peace even if not everything or everyone is going to understand you, or treat the issue the right way.
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Last edited by Ange86; 12-29-2008 at 04:55 PM.
Reason: made an error I spotted
Trisha...did the therapist say which personality disorder? Borderline Personality Disorder? People with BPD often experience mood swings, so maybe that's what she was talking about. I ask this because her statement that you have a PD and therefore should consider meds doesn't make much sense. The research on med treatment for PDs, such as BPD, isn't very strong. A psychiatrist can try to treat the symptoms that bother you most, but there is no specific type of medication to treat BPD. If it is BPD that your therapist was referring to, what has been shown to work is a therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). A google search will bring up lots of info. You are NOT a mental case and it's very possible that medication isn't at all necessary to help you feel better. Also, sorry if my post made you feel labeled. Not the intention, but sometimes it's helpful to have a name for the symptoms you are having, so that you can better understand what is going on. HTH.
So frustrated!!! 
