So I gave up....

OliviaLeigh · 10-06-2008, 02:46 PM

the Pill.

After surgery I was terrified of doing depo (and I want to start TTC again Jan – give my body a break and time to get a little toned up), so I went for BCP. I tried LoEstrin and I had severe panic attacks and breakouts of hives. The attacks were so bad I usually didn’t remember them L So I was switched to Yaz. On Yaz, I was having angry outbreaks and extremely depressing thoughts. Not to mention avoided all people and my DH. So last week, I couldn’t take it any longer. So I quit Yaz. I know it’s bad b/c the Endo will grow and I’m already feeling pain L I see my doctor on Thursday and I just don’t think I want to terrorize myself with any more BCP and I’m wondering if she’ll bring up depo again.

Anyways….I just wish there was an easy answer. I can’t be physically comfortable w/o the BCP, but apparently I can’t be mentally stable on the BCP. I wish I could just start today TTC, but my body is just not ready – I can tell.

Well, I know I can count on the PCOS+ENDO ladies to understand my struggle. So, I think I’ll do some research on depo to see if I should switch.

Hope you are all doing well

DiamondInTheRough · 10-06-2008, 04:49 PM

I'm sorry you had such a hard time on bcp. I don't know anything about depo, so I hope you'll be able to find the answers you need.

Is there anything you can do to speed up the time before you start ttc? You mentioned you wanted to tone, what are you trying? I'm not sure how much you need to lose, but you'll be surprised what just one month of healthy eating/working out can do for you.

OliviaLeigh · 10-06-2008, 05:28 PM

Thanks for the reply! I eat very healthy (I'm very lucky to have had a great nutritionist & trainer a few years ago), but my working out has slacked since I started having all this pain about a year ago. I used to run 3 miles a few times a week (for me that was GREAT) and I felt great. I need to get back into it. I guess I feel like going into TTC in my best health that things will go better. Or maybe I'm afraid if something does go wrong I'll blame myself. I'm not so into "losing" weight, but I need to be stronger I feel. I just....I don't feel strong - know what I mean?

DiamondInTheRough · 10-06-2008, 10:46 PM

Olivia, I totally get what you mean about not being ready. Have you ever considered Yoga? It might be just what you need to release some anxiety and gain some physical/inner strength...?

OliviaLeigh · 10-08-2008, 09:36 PM

I did pilates a few years ago and LOVED it, so I think I'll do that again. I think I've decided to do the Lupron - try to get rid of this pain at least for a longer time period. I've read that it can keep the Endo pain at bay for a year after treatment - it would be easier TTC if I'm not in pain

Tomorrow I will know what I'm doing, but I know for sure it's time to be selfish (bad I know!) and get myself in shape.

DiamondInTheRough · 10-08-2008, 09:59 PM

That sounds like a reasonable plan. And you are not being selfish at all to want to get in better shape - you are being one smart lady!

Speeking of exercise, I increased mine this month, and I think that has helped keep the lower back/pelvic pain to a minimal (well, I've had my moments), but nowhere near the way it was the last two cycles. However, I did have bad pain in the week leading up to af this time, as well as during af. Right now I'm just feeling like af is on her way, even though I finished on Sunday. I see my doctor tomorrow also, so I'll be able to update on what she thinks.

Best wishes!

OliviaLeigh · 10-09-2008, 10:46 AM

Great! Let me know how your appt goes. Hopefully mine goes well. I want to discuss Lupron.....I know my dr wanted me on it right after surgery....now I see why!

DiamondInTheRough · 10-09-2008, 06:17 PM

Well I'm back, and more confused then ever. My physical exam went well, and the doctor is setting up an u/s (Nov 5). She wants to rule out any "lumps or bumps" before further testing. She said that it seems unusual that endo would affect me after I've been on the pill for so long. So we'll have to wait & see....

But I asked her about the original reference letter from my paediatric endocrinologist, and it said that I had blood results consistent with 'borderline congenital adrenal hyperplasia!" *Adult onset*.... Why didn't I know this? I remember being tested for it, but I was never given this diagnosis to my recollection.

Does this mean that I don't have PCOS? Or that I have BOTH? I don't even know where to begin.

OliviaLeigh · 10-09-2008, 07:18 PM

The u/s is a good idea. It's always better to know there is something or nothing before progressing to surgery for endo diagnosis. They'll also be able to check your lining, ovary size, etc - all really good things to check anyways.

You can have endo pain on bcp - I actually did. I also bled right through bcp! haha! I've heard some women DO find a BCP that can help w/ the pain, but not always..... What is her advice? Keep on BCP? Get off to see what symptoms are like? Lap surgery if U/S comes back clear?

I don't know much about congenital adrenal hyperplasia, but I'd post somewhere to see if anyone else on the Cyster board can offer some advice.

My appt went alright. My dr wants the bcp completely out of my system before we do Lupron, so next period - Lupron injections will start. She said I'm a little too "emotionally fragile" right now to jump into something else. And I agreed. I need a breather! I also need to get into my work out routine and prepare for the Lupron - mentally and physically. Mentally - it's hard. We wanted to TTC again, but I have to get my body in check, so I'm a little sad that it will be another 8 months or so before we can try again. But I feel that I am making the right (and smart) decision.

All this for something I thought my body could just do....it's hard sometimes!

DiamondInTheRough · 10-09-2008, 08:29 PM

Olivia,

She didn't go into detail about next steps. Only that she wanted to get the u/s out of the way to rule out other things. When I mentioned the possibility of changing bcp, she did mention that Diane was really the only one out there to help pcos symptoms... After leaving her office, my back/pelvic pain is MULTIPLYING. She was very gentle with her exam, it was one of the better exams I've had. So I don't believe it is residual pain from that. But why am I so surprised? This is right on schedule according to my last couple of cycles.

I think your doctor is doing the right thing by not rushing you into new medications. You may need to wait longer, but before you know it, you'll be ttc, and even yet, you'll have a beautiful baby in your arms. I would look at it like this - consider yourself *already* pregnant, or "pre-pregnant". You are doing what you can to build a foundation for the remainder of your pregnancy, and health of your baby. I'm with you on starting to get back into shape. I've slowly been easing my way back into it, and frankly today has made me even more eager to keep going. I start kickboxing next week (I'm just praying the pain won't keep me from it). Hey, have you checked out Kat's other site called "fitcysters.com"? If not, I HIGHLY suggest it. It's a growing group of motivated, supportive cysters, focused on healthy lifestyles.

Thanks for all your support, btw, this place is the only place I have to turn to. No one IRL seems to understand.

nellies_mommy77 · 10-12-2008, 02:07 AM

Olivia- just a word of caution about the side effects of lupron: It can cause hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, mental confusion, forgetfulness, nausea, tiredness and weight gain. I had all of these side effects and it was horrible. I took my first inj. April 29th and opted not to get the 2nd inj due to the side effects. I have not had any endo pain though since May. I guess the decision needs to be based on how bad your pain is. For me, I can deal with the pain over the side effects.

OliviaLeigh · 10-12-2008, 10:30 AM

Diamond - Let me know how your u/s goes & what your next steps are in the process! It's good you are keeping track of your pain and know when it will start, etc....that helps out the dr a lot.

Nellies - Thank you so much for your insight. I have really stayed away from Lupron b/c of the side effects, but the side effects of BCP are pretty bad and I'm not getting relief on them. Unfortunately I have to do something as it is too painful right now to even TTC. We can go for about 2-3 months, then I have to do BCP or something to stop my constant bleeding and get some relief from the pain. And it's just not working. I'm hoping if I can just get through 6 months of Lupron, then I can be pain free for an extended amount of time so we have success at TTC.

My dr went ahead and Rx'd anti-anxiety meds as I had issues w/ anxiety/moodiness on BCP so she thinks I will have it on Lupron as well. She told me to keep her updated on side effects so we can work through them.

The weight gain does not sound fun! I was on BCP for 3 months after surgery and gained 9 pounds. But I'm also seeing a rheumatologist later this month to see if there is another cause, but I'm guessing it was the BCP's. I guess I'm to the point where I've tried surgery, BCP's, now it's Lupron.

I'm really trying to be proactive about the side effects as I know they are difficult. I just know if I can get through this I will get pregnant

nellies_mommy77 · 10-12-2008, 11:31 AM

Olivia- Bless your heart- you have been through so much! I will pray that you will find the relief I know you need through this, and then be on your way to makin' a baby!! I know not all women have the crazy side effects so I will also pray that you won't either! Good Luck!!

OliviaLeigh · 10-15-2008, 02:09 PM

Nellies -- Thanks for the sweet words

Did your dr Rx you add-back therapy while doing Lupron? I don't think I'll be doing that. We did talk about supplements to take and consistently exercising while on Lupron. She also said she will help me through "any negative side effects." Although, I'm not really sure what she can do for some of them. I'm worried, but ready at the same time.

Diamond - How are you doing?

sarah venegas · 10-15-2008, 02:12 PM

So sorry i hope you get everything situated keep me posted.