i just need to vent. i am so f-ing tired of this hair and feeling insecure and unfeminine. i have an absolutely amazing man in my life who is my best friend, my lover, my everything and yet i can't share all of me with him because i'm so insecure and too scared that he'll be turned off. oddly enough we have a great sex life but it's completely on MY terms....lights off, dark in the room, he can only touch me certain places (and NOT on my stomach or face or even upper thighs because of the hair issue). I hate being this way...and he's getting tired of it too. He thinks it's him that is the problem and that kills me. He thinks I don't love/trust him enough to let him touch me everywhere that he wants. I so wish I could just tell him, 'baby, it's not you it's all my insecurity cus I have a ****ing beard and mustache and sideburns and hairy belly'. I am so ****ing tired of this!!!! Sorry for all the cursing, it's just so exhausting ALWAYS worrying about it, ALWAYS wondering if someone is noticing those stray hairs on my face that day...or if his hands are wandering to somewhere he can feel the fuzziness/stubble. I am PRETTY PRETTY girl DAMNIT...a WOMAN....I HATE THIS HAIR and what it's doing to my life and my relationship!!!!
Last edited by indiancyster; 05-19-2009 at 12:45 PM.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!! That is exactly how I feel... I have been with my fiance for 5 years, and I only let him touch me certain places and LIGHTS OFF!!! I hate ALSO HATE being so F**King hairy!!!!! I thank GOD that my fiance is a wonderful man, though I dont think he knows exactly how hairy I am... What I go through before having sex...( Like an hour in the bathroom, SHAVING!!!!) SUCKS!!!! So I totally feel you!
It IS maddening. When I started taking BC, my mustache (thank GOD) went away, but everything else decided to stick around for the long haul. Coupled with my severely stretch-marked belly, I would prefer to be in a fallout bunker with a knee-length tee shirt than in my own bed naked with the bathroom light on while doing the deed.
I wonder what sex is like without such distractions?
__________________ A bag of green beans can be dinner...sometimes.
i can imagine pet.. if you cant afford laser would you consider an oral contraceptive if your not trying for a baby. if so isnt metaformin supposed to reduce the hair slightly. i have excess myself on my breasts, chin and neck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by indiancyster
hi ladies,
i just need to vent. i am so f-ing tired of this hair and feeling insecure and unfeminine. i have an absolutely amazing man in my life who is my best friend, my lover, my everything and yet i can't share all of me with him because i'm so insecure and too scared that he'll be turned off. oddly enough we have a great sex life but it's completely on MY terms....lights off, dark in the room, he can only touch me certain places (and NOT on my stomach or face or even upper thighs because of the hair issue). I hate being this way...and he's getting tired of it too. He thinks it's him that is the problem and that kills me. He thinks I don't love/trust him enough to let him touch me everywhere that he wants. I so wish I could just tell him, 'baby, it's not you it's all my insecurity cus I have a ****ing beard and mustache and sideburns and hairy belly'. I am so ****ing tired of this!!!! Sorry for all the cursing, it's just so exhausting ALWAYS worrying about it, ALWAYS wondering if someone is noticing those stray hairs on my face that day...or if his hands are wanding to somewhere he can feel the fuzziness. I am PRETTY PRETTY girl DAMNIT...a WOMAN....I HATE THIS HAIR and what it's doing to my life and my relationship!!!!
ugh...thanks for the responses ladies...man i was having a bad day...LOL...it always helps to hear from others who struggle with this too. We are actively TTC so no birth control for me...but I did start Met a couple weeks ago so we'll see if that changes anything.
my boyfriend knows about my pcos...and i have hair everywhere....everywhere. but instead of turning the lights completely off, i use candles. just a few. that way i'm not completely exposed but its still visually stimulating for him. he can still see the siluhoutte of my body. and let him touch me everywhere and anywhere. i take mental notes of where he touches and how he reacts. it helps me to focus in where i need to "groom" better. and it also helps that he's a great wonderful man. i just don't want to strain my relationship so i'm basically forcing myself to be comfortable with who i am.
Thank God. Finally someone understands. My husband and I have been married for a year and a half almost and this recently started getting really bad, to the point where I don't like to drive cause I feel like he's gonna be staring at my face hair from the passenger seat. I don't like to go out during the day cause the freaking hairs are so dark and the sun shines on each and every one of them. I can't let my guard down for a single stinking minute because these stupid hairs don't take a break and don't get me started on hair anywhere else!!!!Unbelievable, this is like a stinking curse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Val86...OMG u feel that way about driving too?!?!?! i never thought there would someone else who shares that feeling. LMAO. It's not funny...but it's just nice to hear someone else say that. It's bad....and now with summer coming I'm like 'oh great, bright sunny days and nowhere to hide, here we go again'!!!
OH my ladies I know exactly what you mean!! The driving thing is so damn funny I thought it was just me! Ok I tweeze like every morning and every night. Its terrible now anytime Im in the bathroom too long my kids just assume Im tweezing. Its terrible they know. My man is super, he knows but I wouldnt say he understands I dont even think the doctors do. I am on Spiro and metformin no luck with the hair issue getting any better, if anything its getting worse. My hair is blonde mostly on my face every now and then I get a dark one but its course and feels terrible so I pluck constantly. And my eyebrows grow so fast. Lets not even talk about thighs and bikini area. I use Magic powder but I cant use it more then twice a week or it makes me a little raw and/or dry. I also keep tweezers in my truck and my purse its terrible. I also have one of those little electric doodads that works ok if I miss a hair or something and need to take care of it in a hurry. I swear I have thought about laser and talked to my doctor but he said with my hair being blonde he wasnt sure I would have good results. I wouldlove to have my legs done though cause I could shave every morning and night its that bad. I get so embarassed. HAS ANYONE TRIED NO NO ??? I think I may try it I want to buy one but have read so many contradciting testimonials would love to hear from women like me with this PCOS.
Before I figured out I had PCOS, I just assumed I was a freak -- kids can be so cruel. And while adults have manners enough not to say anything, I'm still self-conscious about the amount of hair on my arms, not to mention the daily battles with facial hair. I'm 23, and I don't even date because it's just too stressful; I constantly wonder when they'll figure out there's something wrong with me. I just . . . want to know what it feels like to be pretty, you know?
I have a beard, moustache, muttonchops. I hate it, makes me feel like an ugly hairy man. Some people are stupid, shallow ****s and think it's funny. It's a sad fact of life that women are judged by their looks, those with facial hair are deemed undesireable by most. Valued less, not becasue of our accomplishments or lack therof, but by our appearance.
I hate being so hairy,unfeminine despite taking metformin, simvistatin, aldactone, and using vaniqa. I take bc pills too. Some days I hate looking in the mirror.
I have a beard, moustache, muttonchops. I hate it, makes me feel like an ugly hairy man. Some people are stupid, shallow ****s and think it's funny. It's a sad fact of life that women are judged by their looks, those with facial hair are deemed undesireable by most. Valued less, not becasue of our accomplishments or lack therof, but by our appearance.
I hate being so hairy,unfeminine despite taking metformin, simvistatin, aldactone, and using vaniqa. I take bc pills too. Some days I hate looking in the mirror.
Don't let it get you down. For some of us, male-type beard growth is normal -- normal to us, even if not to most women. However, there's no reason why the rest of the world should be aware of it.
Sure, I've got beard growth very little less than than that of DH and I've got to shave every day. But once I've shaved in the morning (with a men's-type electric razor) who's to know?
My DH and kids know, of course, and so do a handful of friends who stay overnight with us occasionally and who I've chosen to tell, but the rest of the world hasn't a clue.
No matter how you try to look at these things, no matter how many different ways you can try to cover it or hide it and act like 'no big deal,' 'it's not that bad'....it hurts, and really I never thought that somethng as simple as hair would make me feel this ugly. I mean I look at other girls whose skin is smooth and hairless and they walk around with nothing to hide, I think it must be so nice to just pick your hair up and not worry that your face hairs are more noticeable this way. I know exactly how that feels, to just wonder what it would be like to feel pretty and feminine. I'm also 23 and you know I think I got lucky and just in time, because I got married just under 1 year before this came down on me and my husband knows but there is no way anyone can understand unless they're going through it too. I do feel like sometimes there's no hope....and it just sucks!
I've been dealing with the hair for most of my life. I'm hispanic, so I have dark hair on my arms and legs, never thought anything of it, though I must say the hairy arms make me self-consious. But then at 16 I started getting a moustache and some hair on my chin...I thought I'd die! I was also going through some pretty rough stuff, and started gaining weight as well. I was diagnosed at 19. I felt like such a freak! And sadly, here I am 32 now, and still feel like a freak of nature. I don't let people touch my face, even though I shave every day, because there's the stubble. I'm pale with black hair...it's that perfect? Then it started growing on my chest, my breasts, and horrors! From my belly button on down. I only dated 1 guy 3 times when I was 25/26. That's it. So besides the insecurity of the hair, there's the weight insecurity and the lack of experience insecurity. Will this ever end? I am SO, SO TIRED of fighting this every day. I think about this every minute of every day. I spend my whole life hiding from everyone, and I HATE IT!!!!! I had laser done 3 years ago...what a waste of money! It lasted about 1 year and I was ecstatic, but then it came back with a vengence. So here I sit, alone on a Saturday night as usual, hiding from men. Why would anyone want to date a obese freak of nature like me? This is what goes on in my head every day. I don't want hair to ruin my life, but it already has. I am so glad to hear that there are so many women who found men, but I am just too self-conscious to put myself out there. Instead, I hang with my single girlfriend and my gay guy friends--it's all safe, I don't come into contact with straight guys. What kind of life is this?
I know how you feel.. I try to tell myself "it's just hair" but... when society defines beauty by hairlessness (especially in "manly areas") it just ruins self esteem. I hate it and my family teases me about it. I had a bf for nearly a year (mostly long distance) but near the end of it my hair growth seemed so bad that I was afraid to visit him for fear of how he'd react.. I still don't know how he would react because we broke up because he was feeling like I wasn't telling him everything.. Of course he knew I was slightly overweight and I did admit to waxing brows/lip, but I couldn't come to tell him of the beard/body hair.. What was I supposed to say, "I love you but I have male pattern hair growth, let's have a beard growing contest?" Ugh.. Sometimes I feel like even my female friends are staring at it, probably wondering if I was once a man or something to have razor stubble daily. I used to want to check my birth certificate to see if my parents changed my gender but not my hormones... Glad to hear I'm not the only one who adores winter for it's darkness and ability to cover oneself completely.. not to mention scarves are a blessing.. I'm sooo glad I found this forum full of others in the same boat.. hopefully the meds and the vaniqa give me SOME relief from hiding in a dark corner this summer..
SO insecure about this f-ing hair 
Finally, someone who gets it . . . 
