Yup - the car thing is the same for me. It's not that I won't drive, because I LOVE to drive, but I think about it every time we get in the car for sure! I think about it when I'm sitting at lunch because our hospital cafeteria is full of windows and the sun shines in. I think about it when I'm at a restaurant in the same situation. I REALLY think about it during the summer at the beach or on the boat when I go swimming and my make-up half washes off. It's terrible.
As for the sex thing -well, I can't say that my DH doesn't know about it, but we've never discussed this. One time back in college I was sitting on his lap and we were talking (obviously really up close) and he out of the blue asked "do you have chin hairs?" or something like that. I was SO embarassed. I can't even remember my reaction. I think I just embarassingly giggled and we changed the subject or something.
At this point, being married, I MUST have some shower time alone. Generally we do anyway, but if he ever asks to join I always ask for some "shaving" time first (he thinks I'm talking about legs. lol), then he can join. I try not to be so insecure about the hair on my body during sex though. I have a little more on my tummy as well as my lower back and butt (it's not totally disguisting like a man's would look like, but enough to bother me), but I've also saw MANY other women in bathing suits or short shirts that also have this problem. I figure it must not be that uncommon. I do shave my "happy trail" daily, but my back and butt only once in a great while. I just try not to worry too much about them. I figure if a man wants a perfectly hairless women than good luck finding one. lol
I DO worry about my face though just because it's right out there. We typically have sex with the lights low - still totally see each other and our surroundings, but just not brightly shining in our eyes, so that helps for sure - and I try to make sure we do it before I've washed my make-up off for the day. The make-up usually covers most of it for the majority of the day.
I'm with you guys though - don't you feel like hair is ALWAYS on your mind!? I feel like I'm thinking of my hairy face nearly every 5 minutes! I've thought about lazer, but I THINK you have to let some of it grow out before going in so they can see the hair follicles (not exactly sure how it works) and I'm deathly scared of letting it grow for more than 24 hours + any irritation and redness that may occur after. People would DEFINITELY know something was up then. GRRR. It's so frustrating!!
__________________ Me (26) DH (26) Married 1.17.09 TTC since 10.12.08
Self Dx '99 Official Dx 7.29.08
Metformin 500mg Since 11.12.09 Pre-Seed Sometimes Since 7.17.09 Yaz 3.11.09 - 5.4.09 PNV's + 1g Fish Oil
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I know.. I want to get laser done after the pills help balance hormone levels, since my insulin/glucose and everything else is normal.. just the DHEAs and testosterone cause me to feel like a female wookie.. I figure laser works for plenty of people, and if that doesn't work, I might try electrolysis too.. I'm willing to put up with the physical pain because at only 20, and knowing it will get worse, the physical pain pales in comparison to the mental/emotional anguish I've endured and will continue to suffer through. I'm always thinking about the hairs and it's a constant worry that eats away at my self esteem hardcore..
It's just hair, it's just hair.. (that seems to ruin my every day..)
Yeah, my hormones were better when I dated that guy, but now? It's not good, and I can't imagine dating and getting intimate with a guy. I moved to Florida from up north, and let me tell you, I miss turtlenecks! It's terrible! LOL. I tried vaniqua but b/c the stupid insurance companies consider that a cosmetic issue (do they have ANY IDEA AT ALL the emotional scars and depression this causes????), they won't cover the cost, and I couldn't afford it so I had to stop.
at 16 I started getting a moustache and some hair on my chin...I thought I'd die! I was also going through some pretty rough stuff, and started gaining weight as well. I was diagnosed at 19. I felt like such a freak! And sadly, here I am 32 now, and still feel like a freak of nature. I don't let people touch my face, even though I shave every day, because there's the stubble. I'm pale with black hair...it's that perfect? Then it started growing on my chest, my breasts, and horrors! From my belly button on down. I only dated 1 guy 3 times when I was 25/26. That's it.
Don't let the hair stop you enjoying your life.
Remember, there are plenty of us with male-type beard growth and male-type hair elsewhere on our bodies who are happily married to guys who haven't been turned off by the hair.
My moustache growth started much earlier than yours did -- I was shaving from age 13 and shaving every day from age 15. Now in my 50s I've got full beard growth just like a man. What nearly ruined my life wasn't the male-type moustache growth, but the fact that I assumed that no guy would ever want me with moustache growth like that.
Get a decent men's-type electric razor for your face and neck. You don't actually need to shave the rest. If any guy starts taking any sort of an interest, just be honest with him. No need for a great speech of explanation. Just let him meet you at a time when you know you'll have stubble just beginning to show. If he's still interested and you've had a few more dates, then you could ask him if you need to shave before you go out. It seems to me that most guys don't mind the beard growth, but what they don't like is being kept ignorant of the reality.
I'm sure there are guys who don't care for women with male-type hair growth, but there are plenty of us here to give evidence that there are plenty fo guys for whom it's not a big turn-off at all.
In response to The NewMRS.: I'm with you guys though - don't you feel like hair is ALWAYS on your mind!? I feel like I'm thinking of my hairy face nearly every 5 minutes! I've thought about lazer, but I THINK you have to let some of it grow out before going in so they can see the hair follicles (not exactly sure how it works) and I'm deathly scared of letting it grow for more than 24 hours + any irritation and redness that may occur after. People would DEFINITELY know something was up then. GRRR. It's so frustrating!!
I did laser. You don't have to let the hair grow. On the contrary, if you haven't shaved that day, they have disposable razors so that you can shave the area that's getting lasered (at least that's how it worked at the place I went to). What they don't want you doing is waxing, plucking, electrolysis, or the nair-type creams. But if the hair growth is too long it will burn too much, so they want you shaved. But if you do decide to do it, first make sure your hormones are balanced and stay that way, because if they get out of whack again then the hair comes back. Also, I would do the treatments either on days you have off and can go home and hide, or in the afternoon after work. Your face can get very red for hours after the treatments. I think it depends on your skin though--I have very fair skin, and I was red until I woke up the next morning. I would have my appointment late in the afternoon, and not make any plans for that evening.
Thanks for all of your suggestions Kristen. My DH did have Lazer on his back and chest - wanted to have less hair. Plus he'd get really really bad ingrown hair so he thought that would help. I DO remember them shaving him there, so I kind of though that, but I would think they need to see what they're burning off. Hmmm. I didn't ask him about it just becasue I don't like to talk about my hair. I think he knows about it, but I'm sitll not advertising. We just don't discuss it, so I haven't asked him questions about the lazer. I DO know he was red and bumpy for days after. THAT scares me.
__________________ Me (26) DH (26) Married 1.17.09 TTC since 10.12.08
Self Dx '99 Official Dx 7.29.08
Metformin 500mg Since 11.12.09 Pre-Seed Sometimes Since 7.17.09 Yaz 3.11.09 - 5.4.09 PNV's + 1g Fish Oil
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Yes, my husband makes comments every once in a while, but I ignore them. I'm not ever going to tell him how bad it really is. I figure, the less he knows the better. He knows that I need time alone in the bathroom, and we only shower together if it's lights off, and a few candles lit on the counter. But it's more romantic, and he just see shilouette, not skin colour or stubble! Also I have tried a few sexy nighties, corsets, all kinds of role play stuff. I was even looking at full body fish net type stuff, with hole cut out in the right places?! So what if guys think your kinky! If it means I can have sex with the lights on, or during the day hell yess I will pay the $50 for an outfit to wear. It beats not having a sex life. Also I made it fun to handcuff my husband, so he can't take off said items during play. He just thinks I like to get kinky, and it really helps. My husband used to be my roommate, for all you single ladies afraid to date or meet men. I got to know him really well, we had sex and it went well. And three years later, I found someone who I love and I can make it work with him. I hope this helps all you single girls. I'm only 24 and I have very few relationships mostly one night stands, before my husband. So I understand where all you girls are coming from! Good luck! Normal realationships are possible without telling them all the nitty gritty details!
I did laser. You don't have to let the hair grow. On the contrary, if you haven't shaved that day, they have disposable razors so that you can shave the area that's getting lasered (at least that's how it worked at the place I went to). What they don't want you doing is waxing, plucking, electrolysis, or the nair-type creams. But if the hair growth is too long it will burn too much, so they want you shaved. But if you do decide to do it, first make sure your hormones are balanced and stay that way, because if they get out of whack again then the hair comes back. Also, I would do the treatments either on days you have off and can go home and hide, or in the afternoon after work. Your face can get very red for hours after the treatments. I think it depends on your skin though--I have very fair skin, and I was red until I woke up the next morning. I would have my appointment late in the afternoon, and not make any plans for that evening.
Just wondering, how long did you have to do laser treatments and so far do they seem to be permanent? Thanks..
I did this about 3-4 years ago. I had treatments for a year I think, and the effects lasted about a year after that, then the hair came back with a vengence. My hormones got out of whack again, I had not been on meds or BCPs. That's why I suggested making sure your hormones are normal and stay normal. Some laser places have guarantees that the hair won't grow back, but if you have PCOS that guarantee is null and void. I loved it while it worked, but was sad that all the money went down the drain.
I did this about 3-4 years ago. I had treatments for a year I think, and the effects lasted about a year after that, then the hair came back with a vengence. My hormones got out of whack again, I had not been on meds or BCPs. That's why I suggested making sure your hormones are normal and stay normal. Some laser places have guarantees that the hair won't grow back, but if you have PCOS that guarantee is null and void. I loved it while it worked, but was sad that all the money went down the drain.
I think you've put that very well.
It's true that for some women laser can work very well and can remove their beard growth and other unwanted hair entirely
IF
they get their hormones into the normal female range
they keep their hormones within the normal female range
they have dark hair
they have light skin
That's not to say that laser has no useful effect if all these things aren't the case in their particular instance, but it's likely to be somewhat less effective -- or even in some instances completely ineffective if these things aren't true.
The key to getting rid of beard growth and other "male-type" hair is to get one's hormones out of the "male" range and into the "female" range. That in itself won't stop long-established male-type hair growth, though it will slow it down considerably, but it will give you the best chance of other methods of long-term hair removal having the very best result possible -- and for many women who do manage to keep their hormones in the normal female range it can make it possible for laser treatment to mean an end of them having to shave at all.
What makes me so mad is when I have black hairs on my face or neck and DH just lets me walk around with them sticking out. He tells me he doesn't notice them but how could you not. I have very light skin and blonde hair, but I have stray black hairs, go figure.
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Jennifer (27)
Clomid 100mg June 2008 - BFP July 7th It's a BOY!!! - James Hunter born March 8, 2009 @ 10:30pm 7 lbs 11 oz, 20 inches long
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Wow, I just read every post in this thread and can relate with every single one of you!! I used to wear my hair up, LOVED the bright summer days, and walk around without a care in the world, ESPECIALLY NOT MALE PATTERN HAIR GROWTH. Now ... The complete opposite!!! The only time I EVER wear my hair up is while tweezing, and only if my bf is busy playing computer games! If he's laying in bed and I need to tweeze, I leave my hair down, and pretty much hide with my face practically smothered into the pillow. I'm constantly getting asked at work why I never put my hair up! Um hello, because you'd be frightened by my beard and want to question my gender!!!! I'm also worried while driving in daylight, and fear passing out because I don't want people to see my face UP CLOSE!!!!!!! The other night I was digging an ingrown out of my chin, and ended up with a gaping bloody hole. A while later, I showed him and he was like, "Ohhh, you were tweezing huh?", I was soooooooooo mortified!!!!!!! I know he's aware of the excess hair and that I NEED to tweeze every morning/night, but wow ... I was so freaking embarassed! Almost offended by his remark even though he was correct in guessing how it happened ... Lol
To be a seemingly normal, hairless woman enjoying her life and femininity, and to have sex with the lights on, I will never know!
Wow, I just read every post in this thread and can relate with every single one of you!! I used to wear my hair up, LOVED the bright summer days, and walk around without a care in the world, ESPECIALLY NOT MALE PATTERN HAIR GROWTH. Now ... The complete opposite!!! The only time I EVER wear my hair up is while tweezing, and only if my bf is busy playing computer games! If he's laying in bed and I need to tweeze, I leave my hair down, and pretty much hide with my face practically smothered into the pillow. I'm constantly getting asked at work why I never put my hair up! Um hello, because you'd be frightened by my beard and want to question my gender!!!! I'm also worried while driving in daylight, and fear passing out because I don't want people to see my face UP CLOSE!!!!!!! The other night I was digging an ingrown out of my chin, and ended up with a gaping bloody hole. A while later, I showed him and he was like, "Ohhh, you were tweezing huh?", I was soooooooooo mortified!!!!!!! I know he's aware of the excess hair and that I NEED to tweeze every morning/night, but wow ... I was so freaking embarassed! Almost offended by his remark even though he was correct in guessing how it happened ... Lol
To be a seemingly normal, hairless woman enjoying her life and femininity, and to have sex with the lights on, I will never know!
Don't let it stop you enjoying life. OK, you've got male-pattern hair growth -- but lots of women have beard growth and most women will be doing something to remove their moustache occasionally. Shaving every morning is just part of my life -- it doesn't dominate my life any more than cleaning my teeth does. I don't have to think about it all day. OK, if we're going out at night I know I'll probably have to shave again, because by about 10pm my beard stubble will be becoming obvious, but that's hardly a problem, any more than changing my clothes to go out. At that time of night it's only DH and the kids that are around most nights, and they know very well that I have male-type beard growth and they're not uptight about it. If visitors pull into the drive in the late evening it's common enough for one of the kids to say something along the lines of "Your beard's showing, mom -- I'll get the door while you go and shave" -- by the time the visitors are sitting down I'll be back to welcome them. It's no big deal for the kids, just a fact of life. And I try to keep it that way.
We just don't discuss it, so I haven't asked him questions about the lazer. I DO know he was red and bumpy for days after. THAT scares me. 
