man... i know how you guys feel. I have a loving boyfriend who knows about my facial hair. I have to shave every morning and i have really bad razor burn pretty much all the time, so im forced to wear makeup, but you can still see the bumps on my face especially in the sunlight. I also think im a pretty girl and get jealous everytime i see a girl i look at her face and wish i had a hairless face like hers. Its really hard to live with but it helps to know you ARE NOT ALONE! There are a crap load of girls and women out there that have the same problem and you wouldnt know it. But we all can get through this, cause no matter what we are all beautiful!
The trick is for me to believe that there is a man out there for me who won't either run away in disgust, or be cruel and make fun of me. I'm working on more positive thinking like that to end my 6 1/2 year dry spell as far as dating (and other things *wink,wink*) are concerned, but it's really, really hard with the way society values perfection. Some days I think I'm at peace with the hair, but most days I'm not. Ugh. *sigh*
The trick is for me to believe that there is a man out there for me who won't either run away in disgust, or be cruel and make fun of me. I'm working on more positive thinking like that to end my 6 1/2 year dry spell as far as dating (and other things *wink,wink*) are concerned, but it's really, really hard with the way society values perfection.
If you look at the number of us here who are have husbands who aren't put off by the fact that we've got beard growth and body hair, that should be enough to tell you that there are plenty of guys out there who aren't worried by it. And it certainly hasn't impinged on our physical relationship in a negative way. If anything, it seems to stimulate him :-). What's more he's quite aware that it's because I've got such high testosterone levels that he's got a wife with a far higher sex drive than most women, so for him it's a positive thing.
I just realized today while I was in the shower that I am quite hairy. and it sucks. a lot. I try to focus on the positives but sometimes the negitives get the best of me some days.
I've somewhat come to my own conclusion though.
Hair is normal, and if society wasn't so "hair-concious" we wouldn't have to worry as much. I mean men are hairy as hell and no one gives them crap about it. My point is, I am not going to let this hair growth (and other PCOS symptoms)determine my happiness and honestly I'm not going to do much about it (as of now since I have no significant other) except for my facial hair (ick). but when the time comes that I do get a boyfriend I will let him know this is now I am and I can't help it and he'll have to accept it.
That's the right attitude Sugar! Positive thinking is key, but 9 1/2 days out of 10 I don't have any ... Even though my bf doesn't seem to mind all the flaws I see in myself. ANYWAYS, I hope all you beautiful single women out there find a deserving, loving man who can see the REAL YOU and accept everything that we ourselves with PCOS cannot change! God bless you all!
I'm still quite insecure, but honestly I have to get over it and stop feeling sorry for myself! Life is too short. I had quite a dark period in my life and I hope to never go back there again, so I've somewhat learned to try (emphasis on try haha) to be more positive.
Ladies we are all beautiful and our struggles makes us stronger, just because we have PCOS doesn't mean we're any less of a woman or any less of a person.
I just realized today while I was in the shower that I am quite hairy. and it sucks. a lot.
Was this something you just thought about for the first time?
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Hair is normal, and if society wasn't so "hair-concious" we wouldn't have to worry as much. I mean men are hairy as hell and no one gives them crap about it.
I think the problem is that while all humans have some hair growth, hair growth patters is normally regarded as being different between the sexes and the growth pattern is determined by
i) exposure to testosterone in the first few months of fetal life
ii) high testosterone levels in pubertal and adult life
It's testosterone which is responsible even for the growth of pubic and armpit hair -- some women have very little of either. Because women generally have low levels of testosterone most women don't develop hair to anything like the extent most men do. Many women (among many racial groups it's a case of most women) don't even have to shave their legs. Most women have little or no hair on their trunk or arms. Most have no significant facial hair other than having to remove a light moustache growth on their upper lip every month or two. At least that's the general story until menopause, when a light moustache and beard growth quite often appears. Similarly, women don't generally go bald in the way many men do. However, those of us who have PCOS have testosterone levels very much higher than most women and often as high as those of many men. Consequently many of us have hair growth patterns that are in practical terms indistinguishable from what society at large expects men to have and very different from what society expects women to have. We confound one of the visual clues that most people in society use to work out whether an individual is male or female. And to make it even more confusing, the high testosterone can deprive many women with PCOS of normal breasts, another clue used by the general public to work out whether an individual is male or female. Society doesn't seem to make allowances for the fact that some women, because they have testosterone levels similar to those of males, have the hair-growth pattern that is usually thought of as male and may have very limited breast development. And I suppose some people in the wider community may be genuinely confused when they meet a woman with the sort of beard growth that's typical of a male.
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My point is, I am not going to let this hair growth (and other PCOS symptoms)determine my happiness and honestly I'm not going to do much about it (as of now since I have no significant other) except for my facial hair (ick). but when the time comes that I do get a boyfriend I will let him know this is now I am and I can't help it and he'll have to accept it.
Spot-on. There's no reason to let it destroy your happiness. And, while I've no doubt that there are some men who would find beard growth and body hair on a woman a big turn-off, I think the overwhelming evidence is that there are plenty of guys out there for whom it is not a turn-off and some who think of it as an endearing feature.
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Originally Posted by SugarComa
Aw that was lovely =)
I'm still quite insecure, but honestly I have to get over it and stop feeling sorry for myself! Life is too short. I had quite a dark period in my life and I hope to never go back there again, so I've somewhat learned to try (emphasis on try haha) to be more positive.
And we've got plenty to be positive about -- there are some things about high testosterone levels that are very positive, not least the high libido which tends to go with high testosterone levels.
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Ladies we are all beautiful and our struggles makes us stronger, just because we have PCOS doesn't mean we're any less of a woman or any less of a person.
I agree very strongly that our struggles make us stronger. For myself, I'd prefer to say attractive rather than "beautiful." I know I could never compete in the beauty stakes. Yes, once I've shaved in the morning, nobody's going to guess that I've got beard growth like a guy. And if I put on a molded bra, people may not realize that I'm effectively breastless. But I'd prefer not to try to compete as a beautiful woman, but rather as an attractive woman. I'm not sure about the business of not being any less of a woman. I'm a woman and I'm certainly no less of a person. But the fact is that I am different from the typical woman in that I don't have the sort of breast development most women have and I do have the sort of beard growth most men have. Maybe in the eyes of many people that makes me less of a woman on the ground that my natural appearance is less feminine than the natural appearance of most women. But nonetheless, I'm most certainly a woman and since I have children, there's not much way that anyone who knows me can argue any different. On the basis that I've children, I could argue that even if I have male-type beard growth and lack breasts, I'm more effectively a woman than many women who have normal breasts and no beard growth but don't have children. Nowadays, at 54, I have no problem in attracting and keeping the attention of men -- they seem to enjoy my company, as I do theirs. The friends that DH and I have are mainly male. Those of them we know best occasionally stay overnight with us and they know me "as I am" because I've told them that I have to shave every day. Not one of them has been negative about it -- interested, yes -- and curious, yes -- but it certainly hasn't spoiled our relationship and it means that I don't have to shave again in the evening just because they're with us, or hide away in the morning until I've shaved. They've seen me with beard stubble and they know I'm flat-chested -- but they're not embarrassed about it. And I've no problem in relating to men in general -- I reckon I find it easier than most women do. Even the fact that I'm flat-chested doesn't seem to put most of them off -- I've discovered that most males are at least a little bit curious when they see a braless nipple showing through a top, or catch a glimpse of one down an open neck. It's a case of recognizing what one has that's attractive. I can't pretend to be beautiful, but being attractive is something different and something that one can work at. And I reckon that even if it took me a very long time, I've eventually learned how to do that. And if I can do it, I reckon that anyone can.
OMG! i am so glad i found this site tonite! this hair issue drives me freaking bonkers! i have it EVERYWHERE! i think the only place i don't have black hair is on the palms of my hand and the bottom of my feet (great, i'll prolly wake up tmr and be jinxed!) i started with the hair issue when i was young..i was shaving my legs in 5th grade bc all of a sudden it was BAD! had a moustache since i was in middle school. i got harrassed so bad all through middle school and high school bc of it....dark hair on my arms i've just accepted..did the laser on the full face (looked like i got burnt by a cigar 300 times) missed two weeks of work and didn't leave apt for 2 weeks, mom was only one to see me bc she was one that took me to treatment. the beard issue started a few years back, and hair on chest and stomach and back...my mom will do my back for me with the trimmers every few weeks..but it SUCKS! i would love to wear chemises to bed, but don't bc of the hair issue! i would love to be able to wear a tanktop and be comfortable..or go to the beach and be comfortable in a swimsuit! the daily ritual of shaving my face and chest and all gets exhausting! my hubby doesn't understand or know what is going on. he doesn't undestand why i have 2 razors in the shower.....not gonna use razor from face for my armpits and chest and legs. and the constant self consciousness of my stubble or five oclock shadow appearing is horrible. if i could i'd shave twice a day. i hadn't even considered the driving in the daylight aspect! i know i'm alwayz trying not to look in bright lights at someone or anything. i just wish there ws a something they could do for us....i'd tell them dip me in whatever chemical they came up with from the ears down rofl. so glad others out there understand me..i'm 32 and this is the first time being able to read other stories of ppl that actually understand! so thanx all!
OMG! i am so glad i found this site tonite! this hair issue drives me freaking bonkers! i have it EVERYWHERE! i think the only place i don't have black hair is on the palms of my hand and the bottom of my feet (great, i'll prolly wake up tmr and be jinxed!) i started with the hair issue when i was young..i was shaving my legs in 5th grade bc all of a sudden it was BAD! had a moustache since i was in middle school. i got harrassed so bad all through middle school and high school bc of it....dark hair on my arms i've just accepted..did the laser on the full face (looked like i got burnt by a cigar 300 times) missed two weeks of work and didn't leave apt for 2 weeks, mom was only one to see me bc she was one that took me to treatment. the beard issue started a few years back, and hair on chest and stomach and back...my mom will do my back for me with the trimmers every few weeks..but it SUCKS! i would love to wear chemises to bed, but don't bc of the hair issue! i would love to be able to wear a tanktop and be comfortable..or go to the beach and be comfortable in a swimsuit! the daily ritual of shaving my face and chest and all gets exhausting! my hubby doesn't understand or know what is going on. he doesn't undestand why i have 2 razors in the shower.....not gonna use razor from face for my armpits and chest and legs. and the constant self consciousness of my stubble or five oclock shadow appearing is horrible. if i could i'd shave twice a day. i hadn't even considered the driving in the daylight aspect! i know i'm alwayz trying not to look in bright lights at someone or anything. i just wish there ws a something they could do for us....i'd tell them dip me in whatever chemical they came up with from the ears down rofl. so glad others out there understand me..i'm 32 and this is the first time being able to read other stories of ppl that actually understand! so thanx all!
Don't worry, there are lots of us here who have male-type beard and body-hair growth. Personally, I shave my face and don't bother with the rest -- in other words, exactly what DH does. And since it doesn't upset him, I don't see why it should bother me. Of course it's not the usual thing for a woman to have the same sort of beard growth and body hair as a man, but it's a fact in my case. It hasn't stopped me having a family and it doesn't upset my relationship with my DH or our kids, so it doesn't dominate my life.
Well Indiancyster at least you are having sex!! lol. I absolutely feel you on this. My hair growth is so bad I'm just not having sex at all. I just look and feel so disgusting. But you have a man that loves you girl. Don't let PCOS take him away from you. If I were you I'd sit down and have a serious talk with him about how you feel and what you're going through. Cause for real though if he really loves you and if he's really gonna be there for you through thick and thin, he's gonna understand and he's gonna be there for you.
Then you'll feel free'er in bed and mybe he can give you some hair remover tips that you can share with the rest of us! lol But you should tell him.
LOL@Val86. I sooo feel the same way. I hate driving with friends. Especially on sunny days cuz they can see my facial hair and hair bumps. Its just so horrible.
i've been hearing from ppl how good this works, so i'm going to try it and see what the results are..u just buff the hair away so they say. i'll let anyone know if i have any luck with it! at least i know i am not alone now..and i've been with my hubby 14 years now (married for 5) so evidentally it doesn't bother him either..it just bothers me! its gotten worse through the years (the hair) so i've shyed away from activities we used to do!
I am so glad I found this thread, I can't believe that I am not the only one who doesn't like to drive b/c of the sunlight on my skin! AHHH!! For the ladies that are scared to let their significant other know aobut their hair, they probably know anyway. I thought I was so super slick and that my bf, who is now my husband had no idea, but he did and told me he couldn't understand why I thought it was such a big deal b/c lots of women have hair (according to him, maybe he likes hairy women?). I guess there wouldn't be hair removal products for women if women didn't have facial hair right?? Stupid hair, if I could just put it on top of my head, I'd be great!
