Hi ladies, can I have your advise please? This is very personal and sensitive issue. Im 31 this year and obviously with pcos i feel my clock ticking more than ever, have been with my partner 6yrs. I have been very open with partner about pcos from the outset and also about the fact that I cant leave it very late to start trying for a family. We agreed to start in April however my partner has now resigned from his work and so is in between jobs (in this market). As a result he is not ready. And I am devestated!
Of course I understand his position, but when will the time be right? I feel so resentful and I do not want to feel resentful towards him. I am so upset, so hurt and so very sad.
Also I feel that he is taking it very lightly the fact that we agreed on a time frame and now he wants to wait. He has never approached me about the fact that he is now not ready it is always been me having to bring the subject up. He expects me to just be fine and understanding which I can do but where is his compromise? His understanding of my (well our??) situation? I feel like I am the one doing all the compromising. I have been to endless docs etc to get my body ready for April when we were due to start and then its just like "oh well we cant now cus I dont have a job". I feel so let down. I know he thinks that I am over reacting and that makes me mad as well. I do not know how or if to move forward from here. If we are to set another time frame how do I know that the story wont repeat itself further down the line? am I waiting in vain? I am normally not an unreasonable person, very practical I just feel so devastated this time. Its not the issue of waiting so much more so the fact that he has refused to realise how much of a big deal this is for me.
Am I being selfish? Be honest with me ladies. I am going under here
That's a shame, I don't think your being selfish. When someone says a date to start trying for a baby and then says no... id be devastated.
I can understand the situation with not having a job, is he looking and do you think he will get one soon?
Does he really want a family coz you said he never brings the conversation up?
Why not give it a few months or till nearer xmas time you can get your body even more ready by then even though time is ticking (im 25 and have only been going out with my bf for 6 months but i panic sometimes at the fact that I want to be married before I have a baby but i don't want to get married for like another 4 years yet etc) but im sure he'll have a job by then... hopefully what with this stupid credit crunch.
Im not so good with giving out advice, hope it helps.
I can totally understand what your saying, my bf trys to comfort me by saying that it will happen when it happens....but he doesnt understand that my body doesnt work like that and that we have to TTC to have a baby.He's amazing and I love him completely but Its frustrating. I feel your pain. All I can say is be patient, men can be dense at times.
I dont know and the point is that I do not want to talk him into having a child with me. I want him to WANT him, not talked into it. Its not like me to be teary and depressed like this, I am strong, determined and practical. Now it feels like I am in a very dark place
I feel for you, I really do. For quite some time, my husband just didn't feel ready to have a baby. I've known I've had PCOS since I was 21, so I knew we'd have issues conceiving, but as you said I didn't want to FORCE him to do it, I wanted him to WANT to TTC. In the end, I'm so glad I waited. Last summer, after a hysteroscopy showed up that I had an extremely thin womb lining, my husband just suddenly decided he wanted to TTC! Just like that! And now he's so supportive and excited about it.
I reckon if you can just give him another few months to find a new job, you will be right back on track. In the meantime, why don't you focus on getting your body more sorted - right amount of exercise, supplements etc - so that you're ready to hit the ground running when you start?
__________________ Diagnosed since December 2002
Metformin (1500 mg a day)
Married to my best friend since 22/07/06
31 years old
Dec 08 Clomid 50mg days 2-6. No O
May 09 Clomid 100mg days 3-7. BFN
July 09 Clomid 100mg days 3-7.
BFP 27/08/09!
First scan 24/09/09, heard heartbeat!
Second scan 8/10/09 Everything ok so far!
3rd Scan 19/10/09 11 weeks 4 days. Heartbeat 166bpm, everything looks good!
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you shouldnt feel selfish at all. You have been open with him about PCOS from the beginning, so he KNOWS that it can take a long time to concieve and yet he is more than happy to put your needs on hold. I am only 20 years old (been ttc for over a year now) but my partner wants kids as much as I do so I struck lucky... I think you need to speak with him... make him understand HOW much this means to you.... that it might take a while to fall pregnant so whats the harm in trying now? and if u do fall pregnant.... then more of a kick up the arse to find work!! good luck hunny! xxxxx
__________________ Love Lilly_Vixen -x-
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you shouldnt feel selfish at all. You have been open with him about PCOS from the beginning, so he KNOWS that it can take a long time to concieve and yet he is more than happy to put your needs on hold. I am only 20 years old (been ttc for over a year now) but my partner wants kids as much as I do so I struck lucky... I think you need to speak with him... make him understand HOW much this means to you.... that it might take a while to fall pregnant so whats the harm in trying now? and if u do fall pregnant.... then more of a kick up the arse to find work!! good luck hunny! xxxxx
hia i was in de same boat as u wer ,exactly de same i was so depressed about my partner changing his mind,it think it dawned on him den that he was de selfish 1 so he changed his mind after 6 week wit a little persuation ha ha,if u sit down and talk 2 him and tell him exactly wat youve told us i think he will soon change his mind.HUGS,HOPES AND FINGERS X 4 U xxxx
So sad, hubby not "ready" ttc.. 
