I really need a place to vent... sowwie if this post ends up being long. Well I was pregnant 7 months ago... I knew I was pregnant even before I did a test , I was so excited! I couldnt wait to tell my poor mother i was having a baby, but I didnt have to tell her , she already knew I guess she could see it on my face, the way i was beginning to change....I was so... happy, my mum couldnt even remember the last time she saw me happy. Well I was pretty happy and as the weeks went by, I was happy, scared, overjoyed ,intimidated all at once! Being only 18, this was a VERY sudden change in life. I wasnt a little girl anymore, I was going to be the mother of someone! MY whole life changed, three months into my pregnancy... I noticed my skin was pallad looking....I was feeling over tired, I couldnt even leave my bed. I saw that i was beginning to spot, and I though " Oh no.... please no no no no" well a week after I started spotting, One night I woke up with horrible pain in my abdomen... I forgot about it and went back to sleep... the next few days the bleeding got worse and I went to see my doctor. He told me that sometimes bleeding occurs during pregnancy, and that I was healthy, not to worry. Even still he took an ultrasound, everything seemed OK. The next few days, the bleeding turned into like a period, it was HEAVY and extremely clotted. I knew what this was, but I couldnt face it. I couldnt, I didnt want to accept the fact, that this was my CHILD I was holding in pieces. I went to the ER, and returned home a few days later , but not as the same person. Its so hard just thinking about it... all the blood, the pain and seeing my baby.. in my hands in pieces. I dont know how to get over it. Ive been trying so hard with my hansome indian lover to have another one, but ive been unsuccessful. Im so dissapointed in myself! I feel like I must have done something wrong... why am I being punished like this? What should I do? Im so jealous of my sister, shes 20 and has a gorgeous 5 month old daughter, and has another one on the way. It hurts to see her with her daughter, because I want that, I want to be a mother, I want someone to love and hold, someone a part of me......and I dont know what to do~ PLease I need advice!
__________________ Love me, Hate me, Do what thou wilt.
I wanted to say I am sooooo sorry you had to go throught this. You are still a mom so remember that. I too had a m/c back in October. I have not gone through what you have and i am sad. BUT if you ever want to talk get a hold of me on aol instant message...leecathy4.
__________________ Cathy 36
Lee 40
Married Feb 12, 1994
HSG Nov 2004
Brandon Aug 8, 2005
Anni,
I'm sorry about this terrible experience. Give yourself time to get back to normal, and if you're new to PCOS, give yourself time to get healthier and learn about what you can do to increase your chances for another pregnancy and carrying to term. I'm glad that you are surrounded by loving family. It's sad that your pain has interrupted your enjoyment of your neice, but I understand.
I hope things get better for you soon. We will never forget these little treasures of ours, but we can allow ourselves to feel better eventually.
Best wishes,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to lessen your pain. I know that talking to these ladies here has really helped me. You are not alone in your feelings, all of us here understand what you're going through. I hope you can start to feel better soon.
__________________ April (34) ~ Travis (31) Married 3/17/01
m/c Jan 04 @ 6w3d
Conner Lee born 9/22/05 via c-section
7lb 13oz 19.5 in
12 mo stats: 22lb 3oz 31 in
18 mo stats: 25lb 2oz 35 in
24 mo stats: 28lb 4oz 37 in
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One of the hardest things with something like this is that we just didnt lose our baby, but our dreams, our hopes, our daydreams and sense of purpose...our identity as a woman is shaken and you feel a sense of failure and overwhelming guilt..this is a terrible terrible time for you and you have to know there are many cysters here who have helped me more then they will ever know. We've been there and you have to reach out for support, and we're here for you too...
sending you lots of hugs...take care
pm if you'd like...will help if i can
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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SO upset :( My misscarriage :( 
I guess she could see it on my face, the way i was beginning to change....I was so... happy, my mum couldnt even remember the last time she saw me happy. Well I was pretty happy and as the weeks went by, I was happy, scared, overjoyed ,intimidated all at once! Being only 18, this was a VERY sudden change in life. I wasnt a little girl anymore, I was going to be the mother of someone! MY whole life changed, three months into my pregnancy... I noticed my skin was pallad looking....I was feeling over tired, I couldnt even leave my bed. I saw that i was beginning to spot, and I though " Oh no.... please no no no no" well a week after I started spotting, One night I woke up with horrible pain in my abdomen... I forgot about it and went back to sleep... the next few days the bleeding got worse and I went to see my doctor. He told me that sometimes bleeding occurs during pregnancy, and that I was healthy, not to worry. Even still he took an ultrasound, everything seemed OK. The next few days, the bleeding turned into like a period, it was HEAVY and extremely clotted. I knew what this was, but I couldnt face it. I couldnt, I didnt want to accept the fact, that this was my CHILD I was holding in pieces. I went to the ER, and returned home a few days later , but not as the same person. Its so hard just thinking about it... all the blood, the pain and seeing my baby.. in my hands in pieces. I dont know how to get over it. Ive been trying so hard with my hansome indian lover to have another one, but ive been unsuccessful. Im so dissapointed in myself! I feel like I must have done something wrong... why am I being punished like this? What should I do? Im so jealous of my sister, shes 20 and has a gorgeous 5 month old daughter, and has another one on the way. It hurts to see her with her daughter, because I want that, I want to be a mother, I want someone to love and hold, someone a part of me......and I dont know what to do~ PLease I need advice!
