can't stop crying, I am sobbing, and call my therapist to see if I can come in, she says she doesn;t have time and she couldn';t possibly work past 10, I haven't been like this in a very long time, and I don't expect her to jump through hoops at my beck and call, but when i caklll jher so upset like this, and she just says hang inthwere, it hurts. YEsterday shesuggested this Prometa thing and told me to look into it, like I was being passed off. It felt like that. I guess I will cry until I cant cry anymore, came and posted here, because obviously my therapist doens'thave time for me.
I cancelled myu appt tomorrow and said, that I don't think I'm coming in tomorrow because I guess I think i should just handle all this on my own - everything is crashing down on me and I'm at my limit.
WTH am I supposed to think, if my therapist isn't willling to allow me to come in, then I have to handle it myself, it hurts so bad, came out of nowhere, and don;t know why all I know is that I am bawling
Hon, you're just hurting yourself by cancelling that appointment. Please go to it. You know your therapist has other clients and other situations in her life, and just because she can't see you right away doesn't mean she doesn't think your situation is important or that you are important. Nobody can be there 24/7.
If it really is unbearable tonight, please take yourself to an emergency room or call one of the hotlines listed above in the sticky (they're not just for suicide).
sweetie, i really think you should go to your appointment, i dont see anyone but i wish i could, i have too many days where i just cry and do nothing but, for absolutely no reason. but for some reason the only thing that makes me feel better is talking to my cat (i realize that sounds crazy) but he isnt so judging ya know. good luck dear!
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I would call someone like some of the other cysters suggested, just to get by for tonight until you can go to your appointment. Do you have a close friend or family member that would be willing to listen to you or come over for awhile and hang out and talk with you. I hope you wake up in the morning and feel alot better, go to your appointment and get it all out in the open it will make you feel much better, even if your mad at her right now or even still upset with her tommorow go and get it out in the open with her it will help you out. For tonight call someone or talk to someone!! I hope it gets better and tommorow things will be better for you. ((((HUGS))))!!!!
i know i know
you only scream for help when you really really really need it
so its hard when no one seems to hear
but i don't think its about that
you know you really need to keep that appointment
i know you've said she's been a good therapist to you
you know she cares for you
give her a chances
pm me anytime..
Thanks, I did go to the appt, after a bunch of 'abandonment' issues, and a bit of lashing out, although at the time, I did not see my part in it. We have a boundary set and I broke it, I apologized, and we talked. I could write a book here but I won't. Just one of those HARD lessons let me tell you. She was frustrated and said something that she later apologized for about how much I pay her and that it's 1/4 of what she charges. By law, she cannot increase her fee, and apologized for saying that. She said she cares deeply about me, and that I was back on track after she did some guided imagery with me, I bawled some and then some, and that's ok. The real issue was that I felt hurt that she didn't make time for me that day - well...who am I?? I felt abandoned and rejected. TRANSFERENCE to the hilt! She has done a lot for me, and I told her I need to remember that before I get angry at her for something that is MY issue. Today I feel a little uncomfortable and don't know if it's normal or part of the whole 'process'. I wasn't suicidal, just crying a lot, and a lot of uncomfortable feelings coming up, sometimes I just want to throw the towel in on therapy.
There's more, but it's all good, her attitude did a 360 from frustrated to willing and caring, so I really am confused. She was glad I didn't 'storm out' like I did last time, and I said, "and you didn't kick me out", she wanted me to look her in the eye and say that, and kept saying over and over to me,"do you think I would really kick you out", I didn't know what to say. When I first came in, I said I didn't really want to do this, and she said, "well, you don't want to do this, and the bouindaries were broken again, so why don't we cancel the session, think about it over the weekend and come in on Monday", I told her I was already there, so I stayed, and we talked about all of the above. At the end, she reached her arms out to me, and I said I just don't feel cared about when you can work with me, say what you say that tells me you care, then in a snap, say, "we can agree to disagree I guess", she said she understood that I don't realize she does care, and that I will. Then went on to say that"do you think I would spend so much time working through what we have worked through and then just say to heck with it"? She almost did, she said to chalk it all up as both of us having a bad day. Just sitting really uneasy with this even though it ended well, I feel like my trust level of her took steps backwards.
Anyywayyy maybe I can write more later. I had friends there for me which of course helps a lot and thanks for being here.
One thing to remember is that boundries are good things to have because they make you stronger. Remember also that your joint goal is to have the skills to cope and handle things on your own. Obviously you're not there yet, and she's there to help you, but she wants you to be taking steps forward rather than backwards.
I think therapy is a little bit like raising a child. The end goal is to have a healthy independent adult... and that takes rules and boundries and a little bit of pushing out of the nest, even though that is sometimes difficult for both parties.
Thanks cysters, it helps so much, that you understand. I agree, I will be 36 in a few weeks, but feel like a 12 yesr old.
My therapist did say this, "you didn't have any boundaries set by your mother, so you don't know any better"
This is true. As much as I love my mother, she is an enabler, and I am responsible for breaking that pattern I guess.
I really long for the day when therapy is no longer needed to figure out why I feel the way I do sometimes. I have been seeing her for a year next month, and she says that it may take years to work through a lot of my stuff, that kinda gets me, cuz life is too short, and I really don't feel like spending it trying to figure it all out - if that makes sense?
I think we'll be trying to figure out life until the day we die, 80 or so years from now! The trick is to make the figuring out part fun. It will be one day! That's why they say life is all about the journey, not the destination.
I am glad that you went to your appointment and got it all out in the open with her. Things will get better sweetie, just take one day at a time. (((HUGS)))!!!!!!!!!
Ahh I know the whole abandonment issues thing all too well girl! That's one of my biggest crosses to bear! I guess recognising them is the first step, isn't it?
You make a whole lot of sense!
And thank you for always sharing, it really helps me and I'm sure others too.
Hey when is your birthday? (Mine is in July too so now I'm curious...and for the record I feel 6 years old somedays!)
sobbing 
It will be one day! That's why they say life is all about the journey, not the destination.
