I really don't think some people think when they speak and I really wonder what they are thinking sometimes. I went back to work on Friday after taking off 4 days to deal with the fact that we m/c and had a d&c done. When I got back to work my co-workers thought I had the flu. I thought I had nothing to loose so I told people what happened. One of my co-workers then told me that there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't think about the grandchild she lost. I wanted to scream when she said that because I know for a fact that her daughter did NOT m/c but had an abortion because she was 19. I also know for a fact that she supported her daughter getting an abortion.
How could she compare my situation to her daughters? I did not choose for my baby to die. We both wanted this little person in our lives more than anything in the world. How could she think our situations are even comparable?
I've always believed that a woman has a right to choose to do whatever she wants but come on! Don't compare something that wasn't a choice with something that was.
__________________ Dolores
TTC #1 since 02/2002
August 2004 - IVF #1 failed
November 2004 - Frozen Embryo Transfer - put three back but they're not in the best shape.
December 13, 2004 - Best shape or not, we got a BFP!
January 17, 2005 - M/C confirmed, our little miracle's heart stopped beating at 9wks 3 days
July 2005 - FET #2 failed - chemical pregnancy
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First of all...i'm sooo sorry for your loss...there is so much anger we feel when this happens...its a terrible time for you...
just know that for every one person who says something insensitive there are many more who will support you the way you need...so try to just pay attention to them. I know i thought sometimes people sometimes just felt the need to say something...even when they should just keep quiet...and i know its hard to tolerate right now...
just sending many hugs to you right now and take care...
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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I agree completely with everything you said and just wish that woman had some sense in her head. There is so little common sense floating around, I don't know why it is called common. It does happen often after an abortion that people have serious regrets, but in cases like this, they should keep it to themselves. I'm sorry you had to hear such a pitiful comparison. Sometimes with telling others, you can get some real support from someone who's been there. We were fortunate enough to hear stories that are decades old from people who have gone on to live happy lives and have families, etc., and it gave us hope that we could someday feel the same way. I wish your coworker had kept that one to herself.
((hugs))
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Oh Dolores..........I wish I could hug you. I"m so sorry I KNOW just what you're talking about......
I don't like people right now....
__________________
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Dropping out of TTC... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. good vibes to you girls!
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I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to deal with the insensitive lady. Everyone here on this board supports you to the fullest and we are all sorry for your pain.
((((hugs (virtually) ))))
__________________ Lean cyster ~ M/c @ 10 wks after seeing heartbeat 8/04, m/c @ about 10 weeks after seeing heartbeat 8-09. 2 chemical PGs lost @ 4.5 wks 1/05 & 3/05. 4/05: Dx w/antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.
BFP on Thanksgiving 2009! Due date August 9, 2010. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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((HUGS)) - I am so sorry you have to deal with such insensitive people and especially that you had to return so soon after your loss.
Some people don't understand how strongly we love our children - most of which don't know what to say. They don't realize that silence is sometimes the better response.
Some people have nerve 
I KNOW just what you're talking about......
