i've been living in england for just over 6 months now. most of the time i'm fine here. i have a job i enjoy, dh and i have a flat we can afford, and we have health coverage (national health insurance is great!). i have plans to go to grad school here, but i have to wait until i qualify for resident fees (i can apply in two years).
every once in a while (like today/yesterday) i get this longing to go back to santa cruz, california. for good. i miss so much there- my family, a couple friends (most of my friends are scattered all over the place), the restaurants i love, the grocery stores that have my favourite foods (lovely health food stores like whole foods, but local to santa cruz), walking on the beach, walking in the woods, so many things.
yet here i am, planning to go back in october for a couple weeks, two months too late to keep my permanent residency in the u.s., making it harder for us to go back long term, should we ever actually decide to (i was born in england, and don't have u.s. citizenship, we moved to california when i was almost 3 years old).
we chose to move here-- i've wanted to for most of my life. dh seems to have no regrets, no longings for things back home. he listens to me when i go on about the things i want to see, but i know he doesn't feel the same way. he feels our life will seem complete again when we have our cats with us (they're coming out in october, after assuring the world that they don't have rabies).
in many ways i know that the way i'm feeling is a passing thing. but even though it is, i can't help feeling at moments like this that we've made a mistake.
dh reminds me that we had a hard time affording life back home. he reminds me that i can't get personal health insurance, because of pre-existing health conditions. he reminds me that arnold is governor. he reminds me that we wanted an adventure. he reminds me that we have plans for the future still-- that we will live in cornwall, and that i will go to the grad school that i've dreamt of going to for the past few years.
i know these things. i know that our life is better here. i know that i'll have wonderful holidays visiting the things i love in california.
still, sometimes i cry.
__________________ me 29 dh 29 married 04/28/01
we are parents!
levoxyl (t4) 75 mcg thybon (t3) 20 mcg
dd born on 11th of january, 2005
levoxyl 37.5 mcg (born without a thyroid)
you've made a BIG adjustment and everything is different.
This may very well be a passing thing, still it's important to acknowledge the things that you are feeling now.
Have you made any friends?? I remember when I moved to Toronto from a small town. I was excited yet when all was said and done and the last mover left. I sat down on the bed and started to cry and thought " Oh My God, What Have I done!" It gradually got better once I started going out and meeting people but it was difficult none the less. It took close to a year and a half for me!
It's not the same as California but it can be just as good if you choose to make it that way. It's hard and it's a gradual process but it will be ok.
Hang In There!!
Let us know how you are doing!
April!!
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I understand how you feel. I've been in England now for nearly 8 years, and I still miss things from other places I've been in.
It's only natural! But I will be you anything that if you were to move back to California, there would be things about here that you would miss. It's just the way things are. I look at it in a positive way. Yes I might miss things, but there are so many new experiences. And if I hadn't come here, I would have had a chance to live them. Or to meet my wonderful DF!!!
Hugs to you
Dani
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ah, yes. i understand how you feel. and i only moved a state away. it takes awhile to adjust to make a new place "home". even still, there will be times of nostalgia, for me even after 19 yrs i wonder what if. but, soon you will feel more comfy where you are. there will be time when you will think about moving back but not really want to. try to get out and join in your community, become a part of it. learn it's history. visualize yourself letting go of the past and embracing your new wonderful future. and remember, your ties are always still available. you're just a few keystrokes away. hugs to you, lendi
__________________ It's ok to cry if you're sad. Tears are God's little safety valve.
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i'm feeling much better now. i'm sure i'll have more moments like the one i wrote about, but as everyone that replied said, it's only to be expected plus it's nice to have people let me know they care, even though we've never met.
thanks again,
hannah
__________________ me 29 dh 29 married 04/28/01
we are parents!
levoxyl (t4) 75 mcg thybon (t3) 20 mcg
dd born on 11th of january, 2005
levoxyl 37.5 mcg (born without a thyroid)
I think what you're feeling is totally natural. Two years ago I moved to Texas from Michigan and I spend a lot of time missing things I don't have here, including my family. I also entertain the thought of moving back a lot, and am just not sure if it's worth it or not. Like someone else said, there may be things here that I would miss too if I left.
Maybe try to look at what it is you miss and see if you can't make some changes to help you feel more fulfilled.
Good luck!
somedays i just want to go home 
well of course you do!!! 
plus it's nice to have people let me know they care, even though we've never met.
