Somethings happened...and something is happening to me...
Something has happened between my bf and I that shook me to the core. It happened a long time ago and it has nothing to do with cheating. It was just something dumb he did that he does not even remember doing. However, the tone of the thing really shook me and I can't get over it like I would usually do. Hes apoligized profusley and I don't think I could ever trust him.
Well now all I want to do is sleep, I am not eating right and I just want to be left alone to my own devices. I don't want to go out. I am finding that I am just so sad and I don't know what to do with myself. My usual coping mechanisms are not working. I can not cope with this and I don't know what to do. All I want to do is sit in my house and smoke cigarettes. sigh...
*edited to add, that I feel....frozen...and I can't forget*
__________________ "I consider myself a good judge of people. That's why I don't like none of em." - Roseanne
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well seeing as how we dont know what issue is, I dont see how we can comment. But I can understand the wanting to stay in bed and sleep it all away!
Good luck hon! It will work out. If its something that isnt all that serious it may be better to let it go, no need to make yourself sick and lose your relationship over it. If its something you just cant press on with, you may want to write it out and give it to him. Sometimes when people write it out you just feel better. I remember before DH and I got married, he cheated on me. This biyatch KNEW we were together for years and had kids...she still stayed on anyways I was angy and DH and I had gotten back together, worked things out etc, but I was still so heartbroken and confused and hurt and mad...I wrote HER a letter and my now DH a letter, I didnt end up giving either one the letter but once I got all my feelings out and re-read it burning it was so much sweeter than re-hashing something I had no control over. So I guess in the grand scheme of things, letting go of something you have no control over is the best you can do...and if you cant write it out...
__________________ Nicole
"Wishing for baby dust"
Me (25) Hubby (29)
DX w/PCOS 05/2001
Two Children: Nathan 10yrs & Breonna 8yrs
4 Furry Critter: Zorna,Sylvie,Abbey & Pita.
*Started Repronex! 8/2005 into 9/2005 (still on it)**Cancelled due to low E2 Level 9/21/05**
~*~You gotta endure the rain before you see the rainbow ~*~
~*~....it is our longing that keeps us on this path of trying to concieve this child we so desperatly want in our lives....~*~
Although I don't know your situation, I've been through a huge upset myself recently (all the gory details are under "Rant") and I've been feeling debilitated too. I've lost 12 lbs and become obsessive about not eating - it feels like the only control I have - but I'm working on that. Today, I'm going to take my DD to breakfast and I'm gonna eat. Only a little, but a decent breakfast. And I still cry when I least expect it.
I agree that maybe you need to write it all out. That's always been my preferred way of working through things. I've already written 6 unmailed letters to my in-laws reacting to their role in my trauma. And I've already found a way to forgive them. I just started therapy and am keeping a journal of that too - what was said and how I feel about it - the real, honest feelings.
Anyway, my point is that you can't let this cripple you. It isn't about you, I would suspect, and it's over. There's nothing you can change. So as hard as it is, you've got to find a way to move beyond. You are entitled to grieve, but you're also entitled to live and be happy.
If you need help, please get it.
__________________ Dayna
diagnosis so far: Submucosal Uterine Fibroid (4/05), IR (6/05), Panic Disorder (12/05) Back on Effexor XR To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
NEVER AGAIN TAKING LEXAPRO!!!
Furbabies - Maine "Loon" Cat & Guinea Pigs
Realizing that there is a problem is the first step. Cliche, but true. If something bf did disturbed you so much that you're usual coping mechanisms aren't kicking into gear and getting you back on track, then it's time to seek help. Don't let yourself suffer a moment longer then you need to. You need to be able to talk to him about it, and somehow evoke his memory. In order for you to "deal", he needs to remember, if possible, and be remorseful (i don't know that that's the right word). Right now he's apologizing for something he doesn't know about and while he can show sincerity, it's hard to accept an apology when it comes from feeling bad about something he doesn't remember doing.
Get help. I don't like to hear about someone being so sad. You have to be your best friend on this issue and treat yourself as if your life depends on being happy.
Big hugs.
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It's probably your bodys natural reaction to something upsetting!
Take care.
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Hi Disintegration... Just wanted to check in and see how things are going with this situation... it's been a while and was wondering how it all turned out.
Curious...
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... It's not the Will-Power ... It's the Willingness ...
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
I know how you feel!! Please get ahold of me if you ever need anything!! ((((HUGS))))
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Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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Disintegration, My husband has said a few things to me that shook me to the core. We have been going to marriage counseling and I have forgiven him. I think I realize now where what he said is coming from and it helped. I know the pain you go through when someone says something like that to you and I wanted to send some (( HUGS )) your way and I hope you are doing better.
__________________ Elaine 41
Patrick 41
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Somethings happened...and something is happening to me... 
