sometimes i look at myself and i just get really down :(
i start thinking all sorts of negative things about my body, my life, my future, everything. and all that leads to having really scary thoughts about suicide. i know that these are just thoughts and that i don't have to act on the thoughts but sometimes it just seems like things are never going to get better. i just recently got switched from prozac to effexor so i guess it's not working yet. i just got put on metformin and i'm so tired all the time - all i have done all day is sleep. i thought either the metformin or the effexor was helping me not have such a big appetite but today i've eaten way more than i have been. i'm just so down on myself right now, and without insurance and being a poor college student there's not much i can do except wait. sorry for this rant, but it's hard to talk to my face to face friends about this because they don't understand the symptoms and i don't want them to know about them. i figure you girls would understand.
thanks...
candace
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I had some rough patches back in December: momma was in hospital, brother was a burden, couldn't conceive, hated (REALLY hated) my job, hated where I was living, not enough money, hubby unhappy in his job, etc... I got on Wellbutrin and Lexapro, but it still didn't seem to end. But, I had to remember that since I was at the lowest point, things could only go up from that point on. I had to be strong and make some decisions about my life and where it was going. Everything happens for a reason, so there must be some reason for you feeling this way. It may not have shown itself to you yet, but it will. And then you will be able to take charge and you will feel lots better.
In case you were wondering, my lowest point came when I was accused of timesheet fraud (which was untrue) in January of this year and it pissed me off... that was what got me to make the decision I had been debating on. I told my hubby that I quit and we are moving to Colorado (we were in North Carolina) by this summer.
I got here in March. *grin*
So, that swift kick in the butt may come when you least expect it!!
Sorry, you probably didn't want to know all that, but I feel chatty today! LOL
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Effexor is magical. It will kick in. It saved me from cutting. I was on zoloft for about 6 years for anxiety only, when I started having REALLY bad episodes in the past year or so, I slowly switched to effexor, and I noticed a difference within a few weeks. It takes time.
a few things that helped me:
Try not to be alone, I was on watch for a bit.
Focus on thing you like, zone out...movies, books, etc.
Sleep, your body knows if you need it, plus effexor makes you VERY sleepy.
and get good mental rest
Meditation and positive self talk. It works, It's hard to believe, but it does.
my best to you, and I really hope you start to feel better soon. and just remember..PLS tell someone how you are feeling, you can find support in the oddest of places, and always remember that you are worth it no matter how bad things get, it can only get better.
much love,
amy.
__________________ "I have to find myself" "I didn't know you were lost, maybe you are just looking in the wrong places."
Let me start off by saying you are not alone! I know that I have had times EXACTLY like you are describing. I don't have any experience with Prozac or Effexor (although I probably should have!), but my little sister said after a few weeks on the Effexor she felt like a million bucks! Her disposition totally changed and she said it was like someone was always nudging her to be the positive one (we come from a rather negative-oriented family) It was really nice. I agree that sometimes a shift in meds can cause different behaviors.
As far as the Metformin, I experienced a radical shift in my disposition when I was on it. According to my doctor, a prevalent side effect can be just a general feeling of BLAH and not wanting to do anything. Plus, if you are having some of the other nasty side effects that I did, who the heck is feeling up to anything??!! As I got more into the Metformin, all of the depressive feelings slowly started to lift and I slowly started to feel better (mentally). However, I had to quit taking Met. due to liver function, and I have to say that I wasn't too sad I had to quit! I had a nasty time with all of the other side effects.
I think you should remember that we are all in this PCOS thing together. This is the greatest place in the world to talk to other gals about what they are going through. I know I love the fact that some of my most embarrassing/gross symptoms of PCOS are discussed here with open arms and NO JUDGEMENT. You are not alone and we are all here to help you.
Good luck and best wishes to you!
__________________ K-Love
TTC since 10/04
diagnosed PCOS--10/05
Meds: Metformin 10/06--5/07--stopped due to high liver enzymes; Provera
HSG--2/07--tubes all clear
1st round Clomid--8/07; trigger shot--8/27...waiting, waiting, waiting!
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I am sending you some positive vibes sweetie! I know what you mean about getting really down. Sometimes I get dressed, make sure my hair is blown out and perfect, put my make up on and leave the house feeling like I look good. Then I will catch a glimpse of myself in a store window or in a mirror, or worse, a dressing room, and my heart just breaks. It instantly reminds me that I don't look good and that I am fooling myself when I think I do. It makes me want to run back to my house screaming and lock myself in forever.
Don't ever feel like you are alone in your feelings. It is too overwhelming that way. There are so many of us just like you.
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Gosh I so understand you. I am also a poor college student with no insurance, and I know it makes things even worse. I often have those type of thoughts too. I feel like nothing in my life is good, and I totally hate my body. No matter what I do I can never make myself look nice it seems. Plus I don't have the money to take care of myself the way I'd like to. I'm sorry I can't give you any advice, I need it myself. But just know you aren't alone. If you ever want to talk you can IM me on Yahoo siobhanbohne.
__________________ The Irish have always been victims of negative stereotype. I mean people think we're all drunks and brawlers; and sometimes that gets you so mad all you wanna do is get drunk and punch somebody.
I know how you feel, I'm poor but working full time and STILL have to go to the free clinic for meds!
I'm on three different kinds for my bipolar and thank God it's free. That stuff is expensive!
Please please let us know how you're doing. I'll even give you my phone number to call me anytime if you need to talk to someone if you're feeling suicidal again. Don't hesitate to call!!!!
daisygirl, I understand exactly what you're going through. I started taking Prozac at 18 (I'm 22 now). Before I took it I was feeling really low about all of the same things you are (heck I still worry about that stuff) and thoughts about suicide would just come to me out of nowhere, but like you I didn't think I would have done it. So, I started Prozac which made me way more depressed than I ever could have been on my own, it turned me into a different person. The suicidal thoughts I was having occasionally began to increase tremendously, to the point where I actually did attempt to take my life. I stopped taking it immediately after. I've tried wellbutrin and celexa since then, but have chose not to take anything because they all made me feel like a zombie (bummer). I hope the effexor works for you and you begin to feel better soon. If you continue to have thoughts of ending your life please please please tell somebody. Take care of yourself girlie you're worth it.
just hang in there. any med switch is hard when dealing with anti depressants and stuff like that. everyone's body is different but i can tell you that as someone who has had the majority of what i've taken not work effexor was great for me. after a while i had to stop taking it because it was just making me way too tired to function at school.
keep your head up. and remember that anything worth having takes time!
__________________ You were meant to shine on...
Type 1 and type 2 Diabetes
PCOS
Bipolar disorder
Anxiety disorder
sometimes i look at myself and i just get really down :( 
Sometimes I get dressed, make sure my hair is blown out and perfect, put my make up on and leave the house feeling like I look good. Then I will catch a glimpse of myself in a store window or in a mirror, or worse, a dressing room, and my heart just breaks. It instantly reminds me that I don't look good and that I am fooling myself when I think I do. It makes me want to run back to my house screaming and lock myself in forever. 
