spiraling ... and rambling, sorry for the long message
Well, i was diagnosed this week myself and i've known for the longest time something was very wrong with me. No matter how hard i try to lose weight, i can't. i've got horrible cystic acne all over my face, chest, back, neck and thighs even! i've got the facial hair to make the planet of the apes jealous, i'm very moody, sometimes i don't even go to work because i just don't want to get out of bed and deal with another day of being me.
today for instance, i didn't go to work, found out last night that i have PCOS after the past 3 years of self-diagnosing myself with it and doctors never wanted to explore that option. Then when i went in for my annual pelvic exam, she ran some bloodwork because i told her i wanted to go on BC and she said my testosterone levels were double the norm. because i have a congenital liver disease and she doesn't want me on BC and taa daa, guess who was right about PCOS
My main problem is that i'm just tired of dealing with health problems. I had surgery when i was 4 and i had my gall bladder removed along with my common bile duct. i've got adhesions from that surgery which are very painful at times and now i've got this PCOS problem which seems to demand a lot of medicine to control. To top it all off, i recently graduated college and my health insurance ran out and i can't find a better job with benefits so i can get it reinstated. I can't seem to have a normal life including work because i'm always in pain and agony, my social life is suffering because i just want to stay home all the time and personally, i feel like my life is passing by like a parade and i can't take part in it because i'm stuck on the sidelines.
The guy i've been seeing on and off doesn't want to fully commit to me and i found out he's in love with another girl and has been for a while. i just feel like everything's out of control and i just want to feel healthy and look in the mirror and love what i see.
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I am so sorry that you are going though this. PCOS is a horrible thing to have, I will be the first to admit it. I struggle everyday but this site has made me stronger. I am glad your dr. finally decided to check for PCOS. I had no idea what it was when the dr. told me I had it. I was shocked. I hope you find friends on this site to help you through the pain of this problem. My DH tries to be supportive but he doesn't understand. The women here do. Good luck.
Shay
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Thank you for your support and understanding. That's as much as i could ask for. Good luck to you too.
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welcome to the board, this is a great place because everything that you've felt was 'weird' or emberassing, if you post about it you'll have a ton of other women saying they can relate.
also, sorry to hear about your guy.. thank god you 2 wernt married with kids when he decided that.
Oh, I'm sorry. The reality of a disease is really hard to handle, especially one that you can receive treatment for, but there isn't really a cure. Allow yourself to grieve. It really will help, and is a normal process with chronic diseases. You will have some upsetting times, but remember. We're all here to "listen" when you need an ear. We understand your feelings. Feel free to PM me if ever you need, or send me an e-mail. I check in several times a day. Hugs, Lendi
__________________ It's ok to cry if you're sad. Tears are God's little safety valve.
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Oh, hon, don't be so hard on yourself for feeling the strain. You have been through so much. I feel for you. It is sad to know that you will have to face this for the rest of your life...but PCOS isn't your WHOLE life. It is hard to be able to see it that way sometimes. Whenever you are feeling like everything is against you, find comfort here and remember that you are not alone. I know the feeling of not wanting to ever get out of bed, and that sometimes finding the energy to just wake up is hard...but you CAN. Just hang in there, and if you ever need to talk...
__________________ diagnosed in 2000 PCOS
meds: Glucophage XR; Effexor (anti-depressant)
she's right its not your whole life... as a matter of fact the only things that have changed for me apart from added frustration is that i excersize and watch what i eat more. sad that it took a chronic syndrome to get me to do it, but hey i feel better about myself for doing it.
thank you for the support. i just want the acne, the facial hair and the weight to go away and i want to be able to have kids in the future ... i'm taking it one day at a time.
__________________ Forever climbing up on Solsbury Hill. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You can do it. The "want" is half the battle Take each obstacle one at a time and knock them down. And, remember that knowledge is power, you're already getting your weapons ready to fight this disease just by learning all you can. Lendi
__________________ It's ok to cry if you're sad. Tears are God's little safety valve.
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spiraling ... and rambling, sorry for the long message 
