Stupid Things People Say - Page 2

sleepydumpling · 08-07-2006, 02:58 AM

I just don't understand why people feel the need to be so HORRIBLE to other people - friend, family or stranger.

I know why my father did it to me - when he realised I was smarter than him and that his fists and feet couldn't inflict any more pain on me than they already were, he used humiliation to abuse me. And I will hate him forever for teaching my brother that humiliation is OK.

LepHysteria · 08-07-2006, 07:36 PM

I've always been teased about my weight. I get the "You have such a pretty face" ... blah blah!

I don't really enjoy hanging around my family. I live 12 hours by car away from them, and see them once a year, mostly because I'm tired of being asked when my DH and I will have kids. They have 4 kids, 5 kids and 2 kids, and I'm not getting younger, and when will I have them????
I constantly get crap from my totally insensitive grandmother. This is why I don't like to visit.

While on a cruise (our honeymoon), a fellow pax told me that if I didn't order all this in the dining room, I'd probably not be fat. He wasn't thin himself and my DH wanted to punch him. I gave him a smartass remark back, but yeah, it really hurt.

Mean people suck!

MiracleMom · 08-07-2006, 08:02 PM

I was once Christmas shopping in a non plus size store.I was looking at some pretty and OVERPRICED sweaters when a sales woman walked up and said"Sorry,we don't have that in your size!"
I stood there with my back to her with my teeth gritted and my fists in a ball!!
After I took a deep breath I turned around,looked her straight in the eye and said"I was shopping for someone else and you just lost a MAJOR sale!"
She stood there with her mouth open while I added"Your Supervisor will be VERY interested to hear about this!"
I then turned and walked out of the store as I watched her in a side mirror wiping her brow!! I never did call the manager but I sure left a really RUDE employee sweating it out!!!

Mamadjc · 08-07-2006, 08:33 PM

OKay, here we go...

Growing up, my father was merciless on me with words. He told me constantly how fat that I was. How ugly. He contstantly told me how I needed to lose weight, how gross I was. This is one of my first memories. I remember doing some stuff in PE one day, and coming home, I told them about how proud I was that I had outdone all of the boys. I don't remember what I had done, but I remember what he said. He said, "Of course you are stronger than the boys, you are fatter than all of them." If he thought I would eat too much at a meal, he would launch into a tirade about how fat I was. At puberty, when the PCOS hit, (I didn't know it at the time) it got really bad. Comments like, Do you ever wash your face? Good GOD, you eat more than I do. That's the lite version of what he did. I won't go into the other stuff right now, I cannot stomach it.

It never mattered who we were around, or anything. When I got my driver's license, I came in the house with it, in a large group of people, he said, "MY GOD, you weigh THAT much?"

I wasn't allowed to shave my legs until the 8th grade, even though I had horrible, black, long hair on my legs. I NEVER wore a dress, because I would get nasty comments. Boys mostly. I think that girls felt sympathy for me, because I had tons of friends that were girls. Boys terrorized me. Two boys used to corner me on the stairs in school and threaten to pull my pants down in front of everyone. They did this daily, for months.

In middle school, I would get wide load signs on my back, boys would jump up against the hallway when I would walk past, as if I was so big they couldn't fit.

A friend of my dad's, a very elderly gentleman, always called me stocky. I know that he thought he was being kind. When my father would make fun of me, he would say, "There's nothing wrong with her, she's just a good stocky girl."

My stepbrother, who is an ahole, and an ex con, got me one day, badly. I had really bad sideburns at the end of high school, beginning of college. I didn't know why, I didn't know how to get rid of them. We were at a friends house one day, he was fixing my car, and Michael was angry at me. He started yelling at me, Why do you look like a man, WHY don't you do something about those nasty man sideburns? His cousin, my stepcousin, told him to stop, but she was laughing at the same time.
I went to the local college of cosmetology the next weekened, and suffered through students waxing my entire face. It was agony. But, I didn't care, nothing was more painful than my life.

I used to contemplate suicide on a daily basis as a child and teen. I had no idea why I was different, why I had hair all over me, why I was so huge. Why people hated me so much for being different. I wished for death. I would pray for God to take me, so that I wouldn't have to suffer through all of it anymore.

It wasn't until my 20's that I cared at all about living and myself. I am glad, because I met David, who loves me no matter what.

Kristina921 · 08-07-2006, 08:35 PM

I was telling my mom about PCOS for like the hundreth time (she seems to forget easily)....I was telling her about the excess testosterone...She said "What does that mean, you're like partly a guy?"

That was the last time I will ever mention PCOS to her. She also belittles my struggle with infertility...After 5 years and 4 m/c's she still says stupid stuff to me...Like..."You know, it took me 6 whole months to get pregnant with you". Oh yeah mom, that's the same thing....Uh huh...

Amavin · 08-07-2006, 10:12 PM

"You would be so beautiful IF you were thin" - everyone

I got pinned down in the bathroom one day and my evil demon wench of a grandmother scrubbed my neck till i had no skin left...blood running down my back. She said that it was just so dirty it built it up (turns out its AN) so on top of the dark velvety skin, I have scarring on my neck.

My ex-husband used to tell me at least once a month that he was jealous i had more facial hair than him.

I was shopping in the mall with my little step sister one day and we went into a cute clothing store for her to look around and stuff and a girl talking to the clerk (standing around, not working) said "poor fat girl must be so bored coming into stores she knows she can't shop at"

One day I was looking at some of the extra larges and trying them on...finding that my chest was too large for them to look good in....and the clerk said "Lane Giant...I mean Lane Byrant is right around the corner.'

More of this kind of stuff....I was an only child until I was 16 so I was spared alot of the sibling cruelty.

When I lost my daughter, I went back to school and I had to face some girl I hated anyway...she didn't know I had been pregnant but she made a comment that I was just a whore and I'd be pregnant by the time I graduated... so I whipped around told her, for your information I have only been with 1 man in my life and for your informations I WAS pregnant...I misscarried 3 weeks ago. She stepped back a sec and then made a comment that the baby died because it couldnt stand to have such a fat slut for a mother. i snapped like a schizo and beat the crap out this girl....drug her around the locker room by her hair. the suspension was totally worth it.

DeeannD · 08-08-2006, 02:13 AM

After reading what others have posted about weight I am so sorry you went through that. I thought my very hairy legs and arms were enough to deal with. When I was a child the boys would tease me a lot. I completely stopped going to church when I was 10. I wouldn't wear the dresses and my mom wouldn't let me go in pants. I would wear long sleeved shirts even in summer and my mom made my prom dresses so they would have long sleeves.

Man I was sure glad to graduate high school. Now if anyone gives me a hard time they regret it!

BTW - my husband was a big child. The kids teased him alot too. When he was 16 he was given a sportscar, that made the kids change fast. He couldn't wait until high school was over though.

Edit* wanted to add my exhusband's comment. When I found out that I was PCOS the Dr. was a very kind man. When he was explaining diets and exercise he mentioned you are considered obese. I was only 175 and the Dr. didn't say this in a cruel way. Later when I was explaining to my family that the dr. said I was 40 lbs. over my ideal weight my ex-husband said "You're not overweight you're obese". Needless to say I walked out with my daughter 2 months after that. Unfortunately now I have to deal with my daughter coming home in tears because her dad and step mom talk about mine and my husband's weight all the time. I have told her since she was old enough that people come in all shapes and sizes and what matters most is on the inside. D@#m exhusbands anyways, hope he rots in hell.

sleepydumpling · 08-08-2006, 03:13 AM

Girls I've just been reading these and ACHING for each and every one of you, as well as myself. I've read your stories and cried and got angry and swore and ranted.

I honestly don't understand why people have to be so DAMN NASTY in life. I don't understand REALLY what they gain from it.

I want to combat it somehow on a larger scale, but I don't know how. I want to make a stand and say to the world "It is not OK to behave like this." But I don't know how. It's so entrenched in our world that it's something we're told to "Just ignore it." Dammit we shouldn't HAVE to ignore it, it shouldn't happen in the bloody first place!

Maeve_the_Belly_Dancer · 06-22-2009, 07:57 PM

wow - so sad that people can be so hurtful

PCOSarah · 06-23-2009, 02:11 AM

Don't you love it when people who know your TTC say things like "when you least expect, i will happen" and "when it's meant to be, it's meant to be" and "don't think about it so much, then it will happen". Umm no?!? PCOS is not a state of mind and we usually have to be very aware of our cycles and our bodies. No it does not JUST happen for most of us, we work super hard to put up with the side effects, diet, exercise, educate ourselves and ride the roller-coaster hoping for the BFP.

gigglygina · 06-23-2009, 08:30 AM

I get tired of "Oh, when are you due?" "Do you know the sex of the baby?" Or the golden ones like "Are you carrying twins?" or "You must be ready to go any day now!" Yes I have tummy weight! Sometimes I tell ppl I am due on such and such a date, or I'll say that I am just fat not pregnant.

When I am feeling wicked I say that I am carrying sextuplets for my sister!

Tina Castle · 06-23-2009, 11:38 PM

My mom's reaction to me telling her I had PCOS and that the diagnosis was based on the fact that I haven't had a period since November 2008:

"Oh I wish I had PCOS because I hate getting my period."

*Sigh*

And then my sister's reaction:

"Oh so now you'll get to go on fertility medications, huh? You might even get to have twins!"

Bless my sister's heart though. She's had 3 miscarriages in a row and just had a healthy baby girl in Sept. 2008.

While I understand their reactions I actually want to get my period and I dread the idea of me having to have twins. I can't control their reactions, but it still bothered me.

babebelle06 · 06-24-2009, 01:38 AM

I totally love this thread it is awesome.. it is amazing how stupid some people can be. The one time i really felt horrible was when I was around 19 years old before i found out I had PCOS i went from being like 120 at 15 to 250 in a year, So i still had not lost the weight but the little old lady i went to church with had not seen me since i had gained the weight and she said "OMGOSH, YOU HAVE GOTTEN HUGE!" I seriously wanted to cry right there but i let it slide because she was elderly. It hurt my feelings bad. I dont have many facial hair problems or anything like that but i do have the extreme weight gain around my belly which stinks!! I get cracked on all the time by my family but they dont understand how hard it is for me to loose it.

PaisleyVixen · 06-24-2009, 02:22 AM

ugh my moms was the worst always telling me to hold in my stomach around her friends,,(soo embrassing)and always telling me...you were never big when i was cooking for you.
The worst was when i told her that i probally wont be able to have any more children..she had the biggest smile on her face..and was like you already have 1.why would you want to have more?I was so crushed..and i let her have it.LOL
but seriously,people should think b 4 they speak!

Tina Castle · 06-24-2009, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amavin

I got pinned down in the bathroom one day and my evil demon wench of a grandmother scrubbed my neck till i had no skin left...blood running down my back. She said that it was just so dirty it built it up (turns out its AN) so on top of the dark velvety skin, I have scarring on my neck. .

I thought I was the only who went through this horror! My AN (Ancanthosis Nigrosis) started when I was 11 and got progressively worse. It started on my chest between my cleavage and then by the time I was 13 it had gone up to my neck.

One weekend my looked at me very disgustedly and went into the bathroom and got a loofa that she had wet with water and soap and told me to take my shirt off. Keep in mind this was in front of my older sister.

For the next thirty minutes my mom scrubbed my chest and neck and kept sucking her teeth in and telling my sister how 'dirty' I was and that I never washed properly in those places and that's why my skin was patchy and dry. I can still hear her, "see, see look at that the dirt just comes right off. She's not trying to get rid of it. See, see..."

My sister looked sorry for me and commented on how she would get the same thing when she was pregnant, but certainly I wasn't. That was yet another embarrassing speculation at my expense.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's humiliating.

Also the "you'd be so beautiful if you were skinny" comment has haunted me my entire life. Specifically coming from my mom.