For those of you who have followed my recent posts... I have encountered yet another obstacle having to do with my fertility.
In the past week I have lost another pregnancy due to an ectopic, and I have also lost my left fallopian tube. This has occured after having three previous miscarriages. I am dealing with so much anger and sadness right now that I am not making any important decisions.... just mulling over what possibilities exist out there for someone like me. Adoption is something we will do. We plan to do a domestic adoption and likely adopt a special needs infant. It's something we've longed to do after starting our own family... and in light of our circumstances it seems that it is something we will be doing sooner than expected. And that's more than okay with us.
Here's the thing... my best friend has contacted me following this latest loss and has told me she has thought LONG and hard about wanting to carry a baby for me and dh. She wants me to have the gift of a child... as she knows all to well how fortunate she is to have her own son... and wants to be able to offer me the very same blessing. I was floored by her generousity... and at a loss for words. I do understand the legalities of it all... don't understand insurance issues... and wonder if anyone across these boards have ever had *this* offered to them... and how conceivable it is to think that this *could* happen. It takes my breath away that another human being could consider dedicating nine months of her life to me and dh... and give us the greatest gift imagineable.
Hoping someone will shed some light on this for me.. and maybe direct me to someplace where I could get some legitimate information on the pro's and con's... thank you.
Karen
I've been offered surrogacy before. Heck, I've actually had a dream where I pushed Derek into sleeping with one of my friends just so he can make a baby, and then my friend would turn the baby over to us in the delivery room. No way would that happen, but I can't apologize for what crazy thoughts pop into my head sometimes! LOL
Anyway, we turned down the surrogacy. Sure finances and the plain sticky-issue-ness of it all played a part. But because my miscarriages have no explanation and all my plumbing is otherwise in (apparent) great shape...I could not get past the thought that there might be something wrong with my eggs that they don't know. Or that there is something funky about the way our genes connect....or or or. In other words, if I cannot carry a child of ours to term...what makes me think we will be successful with a surrogate? If I knew why our babies kept falling out, I'd have given surrogacy more serious thought.
I've thought of egg adoption, and egg adoption AND surrogacy, sperm donor, etc etc...any combo of getting us a lil bubba. But, what the sticking point was that those are still risky...the pregnancies might fail and we'll still be out of the game.
If money were no object, I'd do whatever it took to have a biological child, whether I carried it or not. Or even if it was only Derek's bio child and I carried or not.
I don't have any hands-on info or valuable links to offer. But that's why I came to the conclusion that even surrogacy was not a viable option...for us. Because I'm plumb tired of taking risks of losing another pregnancy, my body or hers.
It's definitely an option I encourage you to explore. But I do also encourage you and your dear friend to obtain counseling of some sort should you decide to go that route.
I've thought about actually being a suggorate/egg donor before. The only thing that stopped me was that I have such a hard time when pregnant. I can barely walk in the 3rd trimester since I have such large babies.
I think I could give the baby up especially if he/she wasnt biologically linked to me. I dont know if I could carry a child that is part me (my egg and his sperm) and then sign over my rights. Anyone who does this is a very strong person and has alot of love in them.
I wish I had an easier time being pg,easy deliveries,etc so I could carry a child for someone who cannot. I say if you're friend is serious and you're serious and have all the legalities worked out then go for it. She is offering up a great gift to you and your dh.
Many prayers for you all that one day soon you will be holding a precious babe in your arms! Much love to all my cysters.
Surrogacy: Anyone explore this option? 
