I can't post this in the rant forum because it goes SO FAR beyond that.
I'm sure you all remember my MIL, who told me that I didn't have enough faith to save Rivi's life. Anyway, she and my Mom were both invited for dinner today. My Mom bailed (wish I could have), but MIL showed up (unfortunately).
I have tried to avoid her since she insulted Rivi, and me, repeatedly after he died. I had pics of him blown up and framed for his grandparents. She wouldn't take the ones I did for her - she said he looked like a dead fish (he didn't - he was beautiful, just small). She refused to come to the hospital while he was dying. She said the above about my lack of faith causing his death (I let the devil "steal" him away).
When we told her about Smoochie, she started yelling, "Praise God, He's restoring what the devil stole away." But he's not - Rivi's still gone, no matter how many kids we have.
Background - when we told her about Smoochie, she said God told her it was a girl. She went out and bought a zillion dresses for the baby, even though we asked her to wait until we knew for sure.
Now we know Smoochie's a boy, since he's incredibly immodest. So, today, we were at the dinner table, and she said that God was blessing us so much with another baby - QUOTE "He's restoring what the devil stole, and you're getting a son to replace the one you lost."
SMOOCHIE IS NOT RIVI'S REPLACEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're two separate little boys, and I hate the fact that she's minimizing our loss by saying that one baby can replace another.
That was the end of the dinner. I said, "Smoochie's a separate baby, Rivi's still gone." I didn't say anything else to her, and she left a little later (before she finished her food. Hubby totally agrees with me, but he's had years of practice ignoring her. I just can't STAND the woman!
Viv
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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I'm sorry that your MIL is not someone you can count on at all. Obviously she just didn't connect with Rivi and isn't grieving for him, and that is a shame. Appreciating Smoochie as a unique child is too deep of a concept for her pea brain, apparently. Sad sad sad. You can always come here for a dose of sanity. Um, did I say that?
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
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I'm so sorry for her insensitive and demeaning attitude. My MIL is the same way (she said that my daughter looked like a monster in her 3D u/s pic--hubby wasn't around when it was said) so I understand what it's like to deal with someone like that.
I wish that I could give you a huge hug in person (and kick the snot out of your MIL for you!)
Just know that we're here for you, OK?
__________________ Celtic Spirit
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Viv, I'm sorry your MIL is such a wench. But you know what, she will NEVER understand that your boys are two seperate babies. God is not restoring because thta would be bringing Rivi back. Smoochie is definately not a replacement
I'm sorry your MIL ruined your day.
We are always here for you and we actually understand!!
((HUGS))
Viv,
anytime u write about your mil i get so irritated with the woman. I can only excuse her bc she sounds incredibly ignorant and really, how can u get mad at someone who so obviously can't seem to help herself? If she had any sense at all, she wouldn't be able to stomp all over your feelings and repeatedly make statements that she knows upset you. You need to come up with some kind of visual (like, oh, i don't know....maybe the devil "stealing" her away and making her do some ungodly job for the rest of eternity) so that when she comes at you with her ridiculousness, u can enjoy your lil visual and tune her out completely.
What is she going to do with all of those dresses, I wonder?
Chin up Viv. I'm sorry that you have been STUCK with this woman and have to interact with her on some kind of regular basis just bc of who she is.
My heart and strength go out to you. Congrats on finding out you're having another boy!!!
Razz
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I'm so sorry, Viv. We all know how many ignorant people there are in the world. To bad there's no mute button on human beings. You're MIL needs one for sure.
Viv-
Unbelievable! I'm so sorry- I think I would've lost it- I admire you standing up for yourself & Rivi and not throwing something at her (which is what flashed through my mind as what my reaction would have been). Many for you- if you ever need anything- don't hesitate to ask!
Im so sorry you had t listen to those horrible insensitive comments from your cold hearted MIL. I agree with everything you said/how you feel.
Hopefully someday she will to.
Hugs
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I am so sorry, she sounds like a real piece of work...I can't imagine if my MIL said that....I would have slapped her and it would have felt good! I'm glad that you seem to ignore her, better for you and Smoochie
__________________ Me - 31 DH - 33 Married 8/8/1998
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I'm feeling better. Hubby and I talked about it last night (BTW, I originally typed that he agreed with "her" instead of me - I fixed it now). He says that's just her way of dealing with our loss. I don't think she cares at all, but I'm willing to keep my mouth shut on that. He said we'll dodge her for Christmas. This was the first time I've had to sit down with her since Rivi died over a year ago (we didn't go all out last holiday season and kept to ourselves).
I'm glad that's over. And I couldn't throw anything, 'cause the only things within reach were my favorite dishes!
i would have spared the dishes and thrown the food. i am glad dh came around, MIL are a tricky thing to deal with and it seems like they are either one extreme or the other loveable or hateful. i am glad to see dh said you could dodge her for christmas it would be harder on you if he was constantly on her side. what goes around comes around. i find comfort in that statement and you may not be there to see it but one day she will gets hers. big big hugs viv!
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who knew your heart could break and you could still breathe
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I'm soooo annoyed with your MIL!!!! She reeks of ignorance and stupidity! I'm so glad you handled the situation in such a classy manner.
__________________ enits
Noelle - my little baby, was only with us for 17 weeks and 5 days, February 7, 2005
2nd loss - my little angel, could only stay with us for a little while, 8 weeks, August 3, 2005
Hoping to remain positive, always...
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THIS is for you mil and anyone who would call a sweetangel baby 'a dead fish'...omg!!!
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
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Thanksgiving rant (pregnancy mentioned) 
for you- if you ever need anything- don't hesitate to ask!
