Thin Cysters TTC - Part 20 - Page 17

pikachu · 05-13-2008, 03:31 PM

Doolin – Ahhh! Doctor’s can be so frustrating sometimes. Why can’t they make us feel like they’re taking really good care of us???

It sounds cynical, but maybe it’s a good thing you don’t trust doctors - I think sometimes they need to be questioned by us patients - even the best doctor can miss things. I think it's awesome that you know so much about your condition... that way you can personally help make the most of this IVF opportunity you have.

TXan · 05-13-2008, 03:40 PM

Doolin - I totally understand what you're feeling, since I was pushing away those thoughts of "it will probably never happen to me" after my last failed IVF. My current Dr. is all about the history and understanding what is derived from "basic biology" so I don't think it's a good sign your Dr. was informed about endometriosis. However, since your tubes are damaged, thus why you're doing IVF, perhaps he wasn't thinking tubal issues since it's pretty much a non-issue with IVF. Strange you got a good HSG originally, but scar tissue can form continuously, so perhaps it got worse after your initial test.

If you don't ovulate on your own, you probably do not need anything to suppress your system. I was never on Lupron during IVF, since I don't ovulate. I know my current Dr. said that he also would have never put me on Ganerelix during my IVF cycle (I was on it for 4 days before trigger) since I am hypo-gonadatrophic. Not sure if that screwed up my system even more or not, but he is now going on a path to get my uterus back in "working shape" (I hope so!!!).

springtime · 05-13-2008, 03:40 PM

Kdwg-Awesome about Oing on your own. I'm impressed.

Relka-I am so sorry that you are feeling down. Sometimes we have to feel sorry for ourselves for a couple of days at a time and then pick ourselves up and push forward. ((HUGS))

Doolin-I totally understand about being jaded by the medical community. I am quite excited that you are starting the process.

Stef and Stacey-Don't lose hope!!!!

Deb, Tummy, and everyone else...how y'all doing?

I need help from you lovely ladies. As you know, this is my first IVF attempt (hopefully last). I started 1 AMP of Bravelle and Menopur on 5/8. Since last night, I feel as if I have pressure in my left ovary and uterus. It was so long ago with the Follistim that I can't remember if this is normal. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Tummy · 05-13-2008, 04:15 PM

Doolin – I’m sorry you’re having a bad time. I’m right there with you on fearing never having a bio kid of our own. And it IS a grieving process. I was reading over the weekend about how IF is actually harder than a death of someone, b/c you grieve this child who would have mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes every time you have a busted cycle, not just once. It is a very emotionally painful process. I do think it will work for most of us, but I definitely fear being the one whom it doesn’t work for.

On the other hand, I want to offer some encouragement about your IVF process, and about your dr in general. I do think that there are some bad drs out there. But I also want you not to feel like you can’t trust any of them. I can’t say whether your doc is good or not, but here are some thoughts: one is that you can’t really diagnose an old PID that might have caused tubal blockage. By the time you have the scarring, the infection is usually long gone and happened in your much younger years. So this is not anyone’s fault – it is a burned-out infection (assuming that you actually did have PID at one time), and no one will ever know if you did in fact have it at some point in your life. Number 2 is that many many times endo goes undiagnosed until a lap. Unless you had symptoms of it (very painful periods starting at a young age, painful intercourse), or signs of tubal blockage by HSG, there would be no reason to suspect it until actually seeing it on lap. SO, for those 2 parts of your concern, I hope you can rest easy that your doc didn’t necessarily “miss” something. (And I hope you don’t take this as discounting your fears, I’m trying to reassure you that your care hasn’t been completely screwed!).

As for the antagonist protocol, I’m not sure when they decide to use Lupron and when not to, but usually there is a reason. My sister’s doc doesn’t want her on lupron b/c she said it can cause the same effect to uterine lining that Clomid does, and since she was really affected by Clomid she didn’t want her taking it. Most cycles (something like 80%) do incorporate Lupron, but I’d give your doc a chance to explain why he might not want to use it (I, personally, am hoping my doc doesn’t want me on it either!).

SO, I hope you have a productive conversation with your doc this evening and feel better about things once he explains his rationale. Of course, if you really don’t like/trust your doc and clash with him, I’m all for switching docs. Again, I hope you don’t take this all any way but the way I mean it – for support! I am not trying to defend your doc or make you feel bad in any way!!!

More personals on my next post… this got long!

Tummy · 05-13-2008, 04:27 PM

Keo – I hope you O’d! Guess you’ll find out in about 2 weeks…

Relka – I’m so sorry you’re feeling depressed too. My ups and downs are so crazy lately. I definitely find I do better when I’ve had enough sleep. And enough ice cream. And keeping busy helps, too. DH called me yesterday from his errands asking if I wanted him to come home earlier, and I said, “well, you can keep doing stuff, but I’m warning you that I’m about to Google.” He came home. Googling usually leads to anxiety and/or tears in my house

Txan – interesting about your explanation of no lupron. Hopefully they’ll say that to me, too. I’m so glad you like your new dr!

Springtime – as my follies grew on follistim, I def felt pressure in my ovaries and uterus, even mild uterine cramping. I think that’s totally normal when you’re stimming. My sis is on her 1st IVF, and she said she really feels action in there. She’s on day 6 of stimms. When do you go in for a follie check?

Okay, work calls… I’m doing okay today. Glad to be back at work to keep busy (and to stop Goggling). Feel okay as long as I don’t cough/sneeze/laugh.

stef28 · 05-13-2008, 05:18 PM

Stacey-Oh I hope your pimples are sore nipples are a good sign for you and hope your family stress subsides!

Deb-Yes I was pretty much in tears by this afternoon b/c it hurts too bad to swallow.....all I had today was a milkshake. Oh I hope this is all just a early, but weird preggo sign.

Pickachu-yeah I'm hoping my next couple of temps are high....this sounds weird, but I actually look forward to getting up and seeing what my temp is.

Doolin-Feel free to vent anytime.....we all get to do our fair share and thats what we are here for!

Relka-((HUGS)) Hope it gets better for you.

Springtime-Sorry I'm not help in that area, but I hope what you are experiencing is normal.

Ok so here is the latest with me.......went as a walk in to one Dr.'s office (the type u only use for emergencies or bloodwork b/c you just don't know about it) and they turned me away saying that the Dr. left for the day...I was like what the hell. So they told me to go to the health dept. SCARY PLACE from past experience. You only go there if you are about to die and don't want to go all the way to the hospital (I should mention I live in a really SMALL town) so I said screw this I'll tough it out. Went back to school and about started crying b/c it hurt so bad to swallow so I sucked it up and went to health dept. No Dr. today but an ARNP saw me and tested for strep and it was - so she said it is probably a viral infection so nothing they can do for it. Which of course I'm thinking.....hmmmm could this really be an early preggo sign. I'm hoping. I should also mention that I went to the bathroom ALOT today, but not overthinking that too much b/c I did drink alot of water since I couldn't eat anything. Keep your fingers crossed for me and Stacey. And Thanks to all of you for reassuring me on my temps. Anxious to see tomorrows temp.....

stacey88 · 05-13-2008, 05:32 PM

hi ladies. thankyou for the thoughts.
i dont have time for personals today as i'm back at work (booo)

i hope everyone has a great day

deb1211 · 05-13-2008, 08:39 PM

Doolin - Trust is so important when dealing with an RE and with IVF. I havent heard of many ppl with that protocal, but I hope you find out why he thinks that would be best. I hope your talk goes well. Even though Cornell has great stats, they might not be for you if you have doubts. I hope they turn out to be your miracle workers though.

Keo - your chart looks like you may have O'd already.

Pikachu - Your DF sounds sweet. I remember when I was having no luck on Clomid and had 3 pg friends, DH sent me roses and had a sign that said Smile Sweety

TXan - I don't ovulate on my own, but did use the lupron. My ovaries, although not ovulating, go quite crazy on their own, so that's why my clinic used the lupron..but I suspect the BCP would also quiet that down.

Springtime - that sounds like a normal sensation for stimming. I got very bloated and crampy.

Whitney - I'm glad you are keeping busy.

Stef - I do hope it's a sign of pg!!

Stacey - sorry you're back to work. I can't even access this site from work.

keohanel · 05-13-2008, 09:58 PM

stef - if it's strep shouldn't you be on amoxicillin or penicillin? if it is and it is left untreated that can be really bad!

deb and tummy - yeah, i'm thinking i may have o'd but right now i'm having VERY wet cm with a very little spotting in the cm (it almost looks like the spotting is ewcm)

relka · 05-13-2008, 11:07 PM

stef- what a horrid experience! i hope you feel better soon.

oh keo- implantation spotting i hope! what dpo are you?

deb- how are you doing on the clomid this cycle? i hope the s/e are few and the O is big.

stacey i hope that your body is just responding to changes in hormones that happen in early pregnancy. sore nipples are definitely a good sign.

tummy googling is so dangerous. i have been googling today too. i guess it amkes me feel like i have a bit more control over an otherwise uncontrollable situation. how are you feeling?

springtime- i only did low stimming for IUI, but i would imagine that on those higher doses you'd feel something happening with your ovaries.

kdwg- it sounds like with regular O's you should be able to get preggo naturally. i'm praying your do and quickly!

hi txan, pikachu, laura32, laura0621, doolin,

me- i found this yoga for fertility class that i'm thinking of trying. i have the yoga for fertility DVD but i thought it might be interesting to do an actual class. maybe it'll help balance my chakras, i need all the help i can get. okay, trying to get out of my funk and stay positive. i have b/w in the AM so we'll see if this measly 75IU is doing anything. i'm on day 6 of injectables and really hope i get 2-3 mature follies this time.

keohanel · 05-14-2008, 12:20 AM

relka - i hope the yoga helps keep your mood up. i used to do bikram yoga and i know i always felt better after it. let me know where you're going if it seems to work! and i wish i could think it was implantation spotting but DH and i didn't BD anywhere near enough (if i O'd on CD48 than we missed it almost by a week and I don't think ANY sperm could live that long) so my hope hope hope right now is that it is pre-ovulation spotting do to a drop in estrogen! or AF in hopes that i'll start a new cycle.

stacey88 · 05-14-2008, 04:51 AM

i tested this aftrenoon with an internet cheapie and got a BFN. its only early i know. (10dpo)but i was too tempted.
i started getting a sore throat today. and i have had AF cramps ALLLLL day at work.
my left ovary also felt like it was going to explode when i got up earlier, which wasnt very nice.
my whole boobs are aching as of today too. and i have been in a foul! mood.
it all just sounds like AF is on the way. i was running to the bathroom every 5 mins to check it with all of the cramps i was having today (and still am having). dehydrated to the max.
and pimples! omg ive never ever had them like this before. not even when i was a teen. its terrible!
i'm also CRAVING chocolate milk something fierce.
cmon AF due date so i will know this is real!

doolin · 05-14-2008, 06:20 AM

Thanks, ladies. The call with the RE didn't go well at all. He was pretty standoffish and not forthcoming with information/explanation. I had to ask him leading questions like, "so ... the reason why the antagonist protocol is good is because I'll be on less meds ... ?" And he responded (curtly), "In theory, yes." Then silence. No elaboration. So then I asked my next leading question and it went on and on like that. To say it was awkward is an understatement. This is a pretty big turnaround from when I used to see him before. Since I'm technically out until July/August (Cornell closes its lab for 6 weeks in June/July and I'll prob miss the cutoff to start before the closure), I might go ahead and see Relka's RE.

Whitney - I totally agree that those things are not usually diagnosable. However, the 2nd RE did a few things on my first visit that this RE didn't do:
1. PCOS panel b/w (I didn't have any run before for some odd reason)
2. he noticed that my uterus had a weird kink in it and my left ovary was behind it, which indicated to him that there was prob endo and they were smushed together
3. he tested me for chlamydia antibodies. The fact that I tested positive for this absolutely blew me away (this is mortifying to disclose btw). So although I never tested positive for actually having it, it may have caused PID at some point and it's another good reason to go in and look around for damage.
All that being said, I do appreciate your perspective on it and I oscillate between giving him the benefit of the doubt and questioning whether he's actually looking at my chart/gathering the necessary data. The 2nd RE is more of a data nerd (like me) than this guy, so maybe that's why I felt like I was getting better care.
But thank you thank you thank you for all of your insight. I really do appreciate it.
How are you hanging in there? It's great that you're back at work already. Again, I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this and I really wish you the best of luck with IVF.

TXan and Whitney - I actually do o on my own, it's just delayed. I've heard of people on antagonist protocols for poor response to stims or AMA, but I also think it's being used more and more across the board (and I think it's what they use exclusively in Europe). I didn't have any lining problems on clomid, but I'm sure there are other advantages to it (which the RE didn't care to share). I'm really not against it, I'm just confused about the change of heart. If Cornell is simply changing their philosophy on how to treat patients, that's cool; I just wanted him to tell me that. I don't know. Maybe I am trying to control a situation that it out of my control. Maybe I just need to let it ride. [shrugs]

TXan - your new RE sounds incredible. He sounds like a real old-school holistic dr. I have so much hope for you. :-)

Springtime - i've never done injectibles of any kind, so I'm no help, BUT it does sound like it's working and that is amaaaazing. I am so excited for you! When does all the active monitoring start??

Stef and Stacey - good luck!!

Relka - I hope you get a lot out of the yoga class. Would you mind sharing more information on it? I used to do quite a bit of yoga (when I was healthy and living in California) and have been thinking lately that I should go back to it.

Deb - how is the clomid treating you this cycle?

Wow, this is long. It is amazing how I can go on and on about myself! Sorry!

Hi pikachu, the lauras, keo, and anyone else I may have forgotten!

stef28 · 05-14-2008, 07:36 AM

Doolin-I'm sorry the call with the RE didn't go well. If you don't feel comfortable with that Dr. than I would switch if I was in your position. My 2nd RE was very rude and didn't elaborate much and I did stick with him for about 7 months, but finally was like enough is enough. It makes such a difference when you feel comfortable with a Dr.

Stacey-GOSH those all sounds like early preggo signs.....keeping my hope up for you! Sore throat huh.....maybe that is this months key preggo symptom.....atleast lets hope!

Relka-I looked at buying that fertility yoga, but never did. Do you like it?

Keo-Hope your cycle is doing what you want it to do!

Woke up this AM with a good nights rest (surprisingly) and my throat feels SO MUCH BETTER (not completely better though) I guess my every hour of swishing hot salt water on it helped! So now I just have a slight sore throat and somewhat of a smokers cough. I still don't feel bad at all though.....weird. I still feel BLOATED and pressure on lower belly. My temp went back up to 98.3 so that is good. Darnit this 2ww is torture!

stacey88 · 05-14-2008, 08:14 AM

stef glad you are feeling somewhat better

and woot! to your temp going up again!
i know what you mean by the "pressure" feeling you're having. mine feels like burning though? that sounds weird i know. but it feels like sunburn...but on the inside? LOL.and hurts a little sometimes. still feels like AF is coming....still expecting to see her with each bathroom trip.