I thought I'd start this and hopefully other moms will jump in and share too. I didn't know everything about having a baby and theres a few things I've learned that I wish someone would have told me.
Keep in mind these are things I've experienced, it doesn't mean you will too just helps to keep an open mind of the possibilities...
About Labor:
* I had the shakes... bad! My whole body was shaking.
* Throwing up during labor helps push the baby down (my nurse said this,
maybe it was just to make me feel better?)
* Contractions hurt bad, I mean bad... before you're even really dilated much
* All those months I spent worrying about my hoo-ha being on display for everyone to
see and wondering if I'd poop on the table was a big waste of time. When I was
delivering DD I could of cared less who saw my goodies or if I let one go.
* Try not to get too attached to your regular OB. Mine ended up being away that day and
I had a doctor I had never even met before.
About a Newborn:
* It doesn't make you a bad mother if you let the nurses take the baby out of your room at night while you're in the hospital. You NEED the rest! Take advantage of it because it may be the last full nights sleep you get for quite sometime.
* You may have a VERY cranky baby for the first month. By cranky I mean, cries A LOT, needs to be held constantly - not just held but walked around the room and or bounced, doesn't sleep at night and if she does won't sleep unless being held, gas... oh the gas... who knew a fart could scare someone so much. You'll be wondering where the cute, cooing, happy baby you imagined is. A sling or baby carrier can do wonders!
* You shouldn't use wipes for the first month or two. We used 100% cotton wash cloths in warm water.
* The clothes sizing is a joke... who knows what your baby will be able to wear so hold off on buying too much at first.
thats all I can think of for now...
ETA: No 2 babies are alike! I started this thread after I had dd and went through many sleepless nights due to crying, etc. Now I have baby #2 and he is nothing like she was. He is happy all the time, sleeps great on his own - no walking, bouncing, rocking, etc. needed. Also labor/delivery can be completly different as well. So what I've learned from both deliveries and babies is that you should try to do your best to be ready for anything because you never know whats in store for you!
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Thanks for sharing. A friend just recently told me about the shakes. That would be definitely scary if you didn't know what was going on. Why shouldn't you use wipes?
__________________ Jessica
TTC since 3/01
PCOS dx 7/04
Met 1000mg 11/04
Finally pregnant (on our own)
EDD 3/21/06 - Sebastian Kent
Saw HB 8/29/05
It's a boy 10/17/05
SEBASTIAN HAS ARRIVED - 3/10/06 @ 1:22 a.m., 7 lbs. 6 oz., 19.5"
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Their little butts are so sensitive. Our dd got a bad red ring around it right away from the wipes being too irritating. My pedi said to use wipes on your hands all day long and see how they feel... the newborn's skin is just so delicate - especially the tushy!
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Some people find that their baby's skin is too sensitive for wipes. We didn't have a problem with that, though. At the hospital they usually will give you wipes that you get wet with warm water, and they work really well. After that we used the Huggies Newborn wipes.
Other tips:
-LET YOUR HUSBAND HELP. In the beginning they're almost all nervous about babies, but one of the things moms can do to help them feel better is to trust them. Unless they are doing something life threatening, let them do it their way. They won't hold, talk to or rock the baby you will, but if you take over too many times they become convinced they aren't as good at this as you are and then you're in charge all the time.
-if you can, recruit people to help you by bringing food, helping with laundry, going to the grocery store, etc.
-Establish some routine things that dad helps with or are his job
-Even if you are breastfeeding, even if you are going to be a SAHM and your husband is going to work, he should still get up occasionally with the baby, even if just one weekend night to get the baby and bring baby to you. THis will allow you to get some extra sleep and it will help when down the road you're trying to stop the night wakings (many months later) and you need to send him in as the decoy
-Your life is going to change massively and forever. It is wonderful and hard at the same time. Take lots of pictures and lots of naps.
-everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps. They don't tell you that sometimes you find yourself torn between sleeping, eating and showering. I joke that if you could eat a sandwhich in the shower it would be easier. Think of easily heated (or eaten cold) items that you can keep handy and eat one handed.
-Just as you become good at eating one handed while playing with/rocking/feeding the baby, let your husband become good at it to or it will often fall just on your shoulders. Even if he's really good at helping.
-If you can, have someone help with the housecleaning and laundry
-if it is just a couple of hours a week, do something just for you, without the baby
-if you're breastfeeding, continue to pump occasionally and have dh or someone else give the baby a bottle. yes, it is nice if you don't HAVE to pump...but there will be times when you want or need to be gone and it is nice to have that option
__________________ Mandy
Proud Mommy to Emily born April 7, 2005 and Joseph born January 17, 2008
-LET YOUR HUSBAND HELP. In the beginning they're almost all nervous about babies, but one of the things moms can do to help them feel better is to trust them. Unless they are doing something life threatening, let them do it their way. They won't hold, talk to or rock the baby you will, but if you take over too many times they become convinced they aren't as good at this as you are and then you're in charge all the time.
So VERY true!!! They WILL let you do it all if you don't have them help!
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1. No matter how much you think you will suffer from lack of sleep, you WILL suffer more. Nobody can prepare you for this. It will make you nuts, it will make you cry, you'll need help.
2. Clothes sizing is completely useless. Don't buy anything that belongs to a specific season (like summer or winter clothes) until you know what size your baby will be for sure.
3. The baby will be smaller than you think! Even if it's big, it's still gonna be a tiny little thing.
4. Breastfeeding is super difficult for some people, requires persistance, and is not necessarily "natural" for everyone.
5. Your baby's skin may not be as sensitive as you imagine, you *may* not need special detergent, wipes or creams. I didn't
6. Baby will be wrinkly, bruised, squished and otherwise not very attractive right after birth.
7. Get out of the house once a week when you can, even if it's just to the grocery store, without the baby... you'll be suprised how it can lift you up.
8. Don't expect to shower every day, every other day...
9. Buy lots of hair elastics / clips, you probably won't have the time or inclination to wash your hair or style it.
10. Invest in a nice comfy pyjamas for the many days you just won't get dressed.
11. Tell people NOT to visit for the first week, and after that make sure they know they should call FIRST, you may not want company.
12. If you feel sad, talk to someone, it can really sneak up on you because that baby will be MUCH MORE work than you ever imagined.
13. You will cry... sometimes for no reason... you may think your crazy at times... you're not!
14. Nobody can prepare you for how much you will love this little bundle of work! Next thing you know they'll be six months old and you'll cry just because the time has slipped away...
Just go with what feels natural, as soon as you can't take anymore of them doing something, they stop it, and move on to the next annoying thing
I didn't pick mine up immediately because I didn't want them to think they could just yell and I'd come running, but some ppl do pick them up everytime, I promise you it doesn't hurt them to wait 3 minutes and it certainly does more good to walk out of the room, leaving baby safe while they scream the place down, giving you that 3 minutes to calm down and then go back to face the situation, it's better than having a stressed out crying mother begging you to go to sleep
You are not JUST a mother, you are still the person you were before, it is absolutely vital you get a realxaing bath or a walk across the fields by yourself, or you will resent the fact you've had your identity snatched away
i know you're tired and it seems endless, but one thing that always sticks in my mind when i was at my wits end with all of mine was my mum saying "don't worry, they won't walk down the aisle still wetting the bed/screaming/breastfeeding/drawing all over the walls/whatever" and she was right, it passes
Just remember, no-one died of hearing a baby cry, lack of sleep, soggy boobs or not picking her up the second she demands it.....the 1st year flies by and before you know it, you have a child who is used to the potty being around the room (so not a scary object suddenly pushed under their noses) can feed themselves and the walls (to hell with it, paint it when she grows out of it) none of it matters, learning and play is what's important, the ripped walpaper and scattered mess is something to enjoy believe it or not, because one day, they don't do it anymore and you will be able to sleep/decorate/get in shape...just enjoy your time with your baby, nothing else is as important.
LOTS of babies can't handle cow's milk protein. This means most formulas will make them fussy, unable to sleep well, congested, they may get terrible excema (or may not) and reflux. It's colic on steroids. If they're formula fed, they'll need very expensive hypoallergenic formula (alimentum, nutramigen, pregestimil) if anyone EVER wants to sleep, or wants to get a break from the incessant crying.
...so everyone should at least seriously consider breast feeding. FFers may find themselves after a month or so discovering they need to buy formula that costs $23.00 a can (I'm livin' it).
But even if you do BF, your baby may be sensitive to the cow's milk protein in YOUR diet, so you'll have to quit eating/drinking it (including ice cream To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ). It sucks, but it's much cheaper than hypoallergenic formula.
I ALSO WISH I'D KNOWN...
BFing is wicked hard, and the baby will seem like it's starving for the first couple of days -- and WILL LOSE WEIGHT -- before your milk comes in. The crying will break your hormonal heart -- you may find yourself begging a nurse for a bottle (I did) -- but this will not hurt them, so resist the overpowering urge to supplement if you can. Supplementing can put you on a long road fighting for your supply...and you may ultimately lose (again, I did). Once your supply comes in, and you and the baby learn the ropes (two or three weeks) bfing is MUCH easier (and cheaper) than ffing.
No one ever told me to keep that thing covered when you change a diaper or you might get a shower. And not only that "thing", but my son could LAUNCH his bowel movements 5 feet...lmao funny story!!
Or that giving the first bath would make me feel horrible because baby was cold, but he makes it through.
You will never miss sleep as much as you will the first 3 weeks, you hear it all the time, but when it happens you feel a little crazy from lack of sleep...
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♥.•:*¨Tiffany 27 ~ DH Adam 37 ~ DS Logan ~ DD Maylin To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ¨*:•.♥
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7/27/06 4lbs 14oz 17in.
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5. Your baby's skin may not be as sensitive as you imagine, you *may* not need special detergent, wipes or creams. I didn't.
We've never used any sort of oil or lotion, even when on the rare occasions when our baby's skin was dry. We were told in the hospital that "clean and dry" is best. Aid's dry skin always cleared up quickly without any help, and my parenting class instructor said sometimes oils/lotions make the problem worse.
We have always been complimented on Aid's gorgeous skin. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
No one ever told me to keep that thing covered when you change a diaper or you might get a shower. And not only that "thing", but my son could LAUNCH his bowel movements 5 feet...lmao funny story!!
We have a projectile poop story, too! OH, and girl can shoot pee pretty far, too. Who knew? We found out when daddy's short's got soaked during a changing!
Fantastic idea - I'd wished I'd had some of this input!!!
I agree with the sensitive butt stuff. DD had the ring around her butt (sounds like a laundry bottom) but cleared up right away with more frequent changings, Desitin diaper rash cream, and Pampers SENSITIVE wipes. Now everything is peachy.
The other thing is to not be afraid to say NO when people want to come over or anything else. I am always afraid of hurting someone's feelings and I am loosing precious sleep or time with DH or DD because of it. MAKE SURE PEOPLE CALL BEFORE THEY COME OVER - OR CALL TO SCHEDULE A TIME TO COME OVER!!! Best piece of advise!! Also, called ID is worth every penny (especially when you're napping and your MIL is calling...)
__________________ Ali
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Here's mine: If you think you have Post Partum Depression get help ASAP.
Everyone gets the baby blues after baby -- that's normal. But if you are crying, feeling empty and finding no joy in your life for longer than ten days, get some help, talk to someone. You'll get better faster if you do.
__________________ Sarah
Dx 2/03
DC's
Will 7/26/05
Andie 11/28/06
Things no one told me about a newborn... 
