azcater

Oh my gosh, this is a great thread, I'm going to be a brand new mom, so I will be watching for more great advice!!!
I really, really, really want to breastfeed... is there anything I can do in advance to prepare, classes to take, etc, so that I'll have the best chance of being able to do it once the baby gets here?

TIA!

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Angela (32)
DH: Lawrence (36)
Tedi (wire fox terrier)
TTC 7 years, then moved on to adoption
Surprise BFP on 12/16/05, not actively ttc
Currently on 1000mg metformin

TTC #2, DS needs a brother or sister!


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Daisychain

Great thread....there was SO much I didn't know...and really, every mother is different, every baby is different, there is no way to know what that new mother is going to experience, you can only try to offer advice AFTER she has the baby...and I think experienced mothers don't want to frighten new pregnant women. Really, new motherhood is a big shock to your system, I find I would love to tell a new expecting mother all the things that happen, but it's very daunting....and really you forget alot of it.

I had a c/s. I thought my feet were swollen BEFORE the birth - wrong! Sometimes because of all the meds being pumped into you, your feet and legs can swell to the size of small tree trunks. And it takes weeks to go down. Also, in the first few days, you sweat like a pig. I guess the body is losing all the water retention. And finally, you read that the uterus contracts when breastfeeding...yup, BUT what you might not realize is that every time the uterus contracts, you have this sharp pain and a huge gush of blood. In the beginning at least. Very disconcerting feeling.

About the baby:
I wondered why they would sell pack of 30 baby washcloths. Wow, who would need so many? I quickly found out when my DD got a very bad rash from the sensitive newborn wipes. I had to use warm water cloths for a few months.

Babies can get the shakes. Especially winter babies. They have to learn to adjust their internal thermometers. I had DD wrapped up in a onsie, flannel sleeper, receiving blanket, fleece blanket, hat and mitts ...and still she shivered! And sometimes they breathe a bit erratically. I spent half the night staring at her, terrified she would stop breathing if I fell asleep. If I ever have a second one, I'll buy the Angelcare monitor. Just so I won't worry so much.

Babies can choke on vomit when sleeping on their back. If I ever have a second, I'll sleep my newborn on her side or slightly elevated. My friend's newborn made a slight funny sound...and just by sheer mommy instinct alone, she went to check on her. She was blue. Thankfully, she knew CPR and was able to do something while her hubby called 911. The baby was fine, but still, VERY scary! Again, this is where the Angelcare monitor comes in handy.

I agree with the PP about being torn on doing the million things you need to do and sleeping. The baby sleeps for maybe 2 hours at a stretch. And you are exhausted. So, baby sleeping, what should I do....have to get some laundry done, haven't showered in days...can't remember when I last ate...but really want to sleep. I would do the bottles, that was first priority (gave up bf'ing, I couldn't do it) then threw in a load of laundry. I would take a cereal bar into the shower with me, seriously. And then when I did have a few minutes to sleep, I couldn't.

Nice jammies are good for when you don't get dressed that day....but I say go with sweats. That way you can sleep in them....or putter around the house. If someone happens to look in your window they won't know you didn't get dressed, they won't see the funky plaid jammies
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Stock up on frozen entrees. They only take minutes to eat...every second counts when you are so sleep deprived...don't worry about food you have to prepare in the oven. I was so forgetful I was terrified to use the oven, cuz I knew I would forget it was on...or fall asleep forgetting it was on.

I was seriously forgetful in the first few months. I wrote EVERYTHING down. When the baby ate....when she pooped. Cuz when you do fall asleep you dream you're feeding the baby, and you wake up and think "didn't I just do that?" I would forget to go pee....it would be 3pm and I'd think "did I go pee today? Um, better take care of that"

Sorry for the book....got on a roll
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Jenny




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MaggieM

I took a free class the hospital offered and I got this book which I still refer back to to this day
The Breastfeeding Book by Martha Sears, RN & William Sears MD

It covers it all and has been so helpful. Just learn as much as you can and be prepared. Thankfully it's been easy for me but a lot of women have trouble so learn patience now!
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Good Luck to you~
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Indira

I agree with this very much, it not only lets you sleep but it also helps daddy bond with baby. We did it on Fridays and Saturdays because he had to work the rest of the days so this is all it allowed. It felt like heaven knowing that I would get a good night sleep.

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Fighting for peace is like F*cking for virginity

MaggieM

I thought of something else...

That first bm post partum... brace yourself! I could have used an epidural for that alone!
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bonnieboo

and for me...several weeks thereafter...
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SarahJ

Here's another: Buy all your postpartum toiletries before you get home: Tucks, antibiotic cream for your butt, motrin, giant pads, XL ugly underwear, newborn diapers so you won't have to do it on the way home. It almost more important than what you bring to the hospital.

Also: layer a couple of towels where you lie in bed. You will sweat like crazy for several nights and soak your bedding if you don't.

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Sarah
Dx 2/03
DC's
Will 7/26/05
Andie 11/28/06

rachelatrandom

Well, here are my few things that haven't been listed yet.

My little girl had a mucousy/bloody discharge for 5 days after birth and I was told it was like a period and carry over from my hormones..weird and scary.

If the diaper starts looking really yellow or orangeish and like there is sugar or salt in the baby is dehydrated. I learned this when my baby was 6 days old, nursiing and getting nothing! Still makes me cry....

If you have high blood pressure during pg look out b/c I swelled up like a balloon after I gave birth. I think I gained like 25 lbs of water. Make sure you watch your feet and call the dr if you think you are swelling so they can give you something.

And finally, don't forget to write everything down! The first week or two is crazy! And I so very much wish I'd journalled or at least wrote on a calendar or something.

SheriKCMO

The first several days at least feels like one long day with a few naps thrown in.

The hormone crash and lack of sleep made me a total basket case for a couple of weeks. I must have cried ten times every day. Brad made me sleep for three straight hours (tricked me into it), and I felt so much better.

There will be no time for anything for yourself... hobbies, crafts, certain entertainment, basic hygiene, lol, nothing. I must have had about ten seconds per meal on average for three months. Gobble gobble, done.

What shocked me the most is how quickly the newborn period is actually over... we started sleeping longer, things started making sense, and I realized, "Hey, that was really only a few months!" Looking back at those early photos, I want my little baby back!
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Oh, and don't let other people, like grandmas, tell you how to do things. This is your baby... they already had their turn. You have to learn by your own mistakes and revelations. Somehow we all survive. Well, most of us!

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Sheri:36 Hubby:36
Metformin 1500mg since 10/02, Yasmin since 4/06, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage 8/13-1/19

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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage 8/26-1/26

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Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs

Time to lose this weight!

Casey4

1) Truly, truly sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't try to do housework or anything else. Those extra naps will help sustain you!

2) Whenever possible put the baby down to sleep while awake. I mean it is fine to comfort her but if you can get her used to putting herself to sleep it saves a lot of angst later.

3) Take lots of pictures. You think that you will never forget them at this moment, but they change so very fast.

4) Dads can get a little blue post partum too. They don't have the physical things to worry about, but life has changed for them as well.

5) Trust yourself and your baby. Know that a big part of parenting is figuring out what works for you and your family. You may have people making comments or giving advice. Listen to it but take what works for you and leave the rest. My favorite stock answer is "Our pediatrician is very particular and he says to do it this way!" People will question you but if Doctor says something it must be true. Don't worry your doctor would back you up anyway!

6) It is okay not to be happy all the time. It is even okay to say "What have I gotten myself into?" Doesn't mean you love the baby any less. It just reflects all the changes and lack of sleep. Sometimes we feel that after all we needed to do to get pregnant we would be ungrateful to be sad, tired and frustrated. Be gentle to yourself.

7) Labor and delivery don't always go as planned. Try to go with the flow but be an advocate for yourself and your baby. Talk to your doctor, the nurses and don't be afraid to ask questions until you feel comfortable with what it is going on!

8) Finally, enjoy this precious time. Take time to snuggle with your DH and your baby and reflect on what a miracle your family is! Congratulations

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Kathy age 42
married to DH 13y age 49
Kallan and Melissa 7/97
Darby 4/00
Taryn Lee 4/19/05 8lb11oz 20inches long

Taryn is growing fast...

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Angel Casey 5/95
mc triplet 1/97
mc at 9w 4/04

dreamchaser

Mom of 3 here 2 girls & a boy
Let me see w/ my first
noone told me that i might start shaking so bad afterward my teeth where chattering so bad i couldn't talk or hold the baby,
noone told me how bad going to the bathroom would hurt esp w/ Hemorrhoids
or that i might bleed up til 6 wks pp
or that when my milk came in i would put Dolly Parton to shame and it'd hurt so bad i cried
or that a little girl was swollon

w/ my 2nd
noone said oh w/ colic they scream everyday like clock work for up to 5 hrs and nothing you do helps
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With DS
i wish i'd said no vistors for a few days sense i was kept from him for what seemed like forever that i just wantted to be here w/ him alone
i knew my feet would be swollon because my sister had a scetion 3 wks before me
i'd never changed a little boy in my life, so when i seen how swollon he was it shocked me
That a little boy can pee sideways and get the back of the couch real good
that even thow i was beyond the word tired and sleepy i couldn't sleep because i was always watching to make sure he was breathing (i about drove myself insane over that one)
That i would be so bad i wouldn't/wont let anyone watch him (and he's 8 mo's old)
And that newborn stage flys by way to fast
But the best part is that you never knew it was possiable to love someone so much and you feel like your gonna bust
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Tangie

Okay!

First of all BRILLIANT thread!

Second of all SCARY thread!

Now I'm thinking I might not cope and omg what have I gotten myself into? I am really on the worry now.

Still very interesting up front things to read which I prefer to sugar coating but I'm still scared.

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powie

Tangie you have nothing to be scared about honestly

Somehow when you are holding that little baby you instictively know what to do - the labour is forgotten the second baby is born, trust me, I went on to have 4 so it can't be that bad now can it?

Trust you're instincts, trust what you're baby tells you, you will soon learn the difference between cries, hungry/wet/afraid/want a cuddle

You will cope, don't let anyone in for the 1st 2 weeks, you need to recover, you're body has had a shock! Ask if you need help, there's no shame if you just want someone to take over the laundry for a few days while you establish a routine

and don't let anyone tell you "You'r e meant to do it that way" do it your way, if it doesn't work you'll figure out another way round it, we are individuals, just because your aunties daughters dog did things differently, doesn't mean your baby will appreciate it the same way.....go with the flow and enjoy

A good sentence for those who are bombarded with advice : "Well it's not your baby is it?"

goofieones

Okay.... somethings I wish I knew before I had the baby.

Breastfeeding is NOT natural..... sometimes it takes 3 people to latch a newborn!
That a newborn would want to nurse every 1.5 hours from the start of the last feeding. Nursing is a full time job for the first 6 weeks.
That bleeding, scabbed nipples and painful nursing can be common. OUCH
That even though nursing hurt like hell the first 6 weeks, it's the most awesome relationship you have with your baby which no one can describe.
That a c-section can happen to anyone.
That epi's can wear off in the middle of surgery.
That in the end, you would do it over and over again.

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My two kids
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Zach (4), Autumn (ALMOST 2!!)


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MaggieM

This is my favorite line in this entire thread! You couldn't have a truer statement!

Pay attention to this one new mommies! No matter what you go through, it is all worth it! Especially when you see that first smile directed at you!
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