Things no one told me about a newborn... - Page 4

Heidi31 · 01-22-2006, 12:15 AM

Newborns feed ALOT. Be prepared to sit for hours feeding. I spent the best part of 3 months with my boob out constantly.
Exposing your breasts to air helps them to heal & prevents soreness, but do remember to cover them up if someone comes to visit.
Don't expect to love your baby straight away. The all-comsuming love you hear about can take days/weeks/months to come, but it does come.
You will spend hours just staring at your baby, completely in awe.
Your emotions will be all over the place & just the sight of the back of your baby's neck will have you in tears.
Buy lots of muslin cloths, great for mopping up sick/tears/ & accidents at nappy changes.
Lansinoh nipple cream is fab!
Try to meet other mums with babies the same age as yours, it can really help your sanity to chat to someone else over a cuppa who's going through the same things as you.
Don't assume other mums are coping better than you are, they might be thinking the same about you!
Even if you can't sleep when your baby does at least sit down with a cup of tea & a magazine & relax.
The washing/ironing/housework will still be there tomorrow, let it wait!
The newborn stage goes by so quickly, so enjoy it, take lots of photos & before you know it you'll be a pro at nappy changing & translating your baby's cries.
I'm having the time of my life & haven't laughed or played so much in years.

Daisychain · 01-22-2006, 03:14 AM

Sorry to scare you with the choking on vomit story. That never happened with my DD...and the friend I'm talking about, that was her third child, it never happened with her first two. I just put it out there so you would be aware that it could happen....and always trust your mother's instinct.

That reminds me. You will be so attuned to your baby, that even when you are sound asleep, a change in the baby's breathing will wake you up. I could be in the bedroom with the door closed, with DH in the living room on baby duty. I'd wake up and be out in the living room seconds before the baby stirred.

You can have bad thoughts towards your baby. It's ok to be mad when the baby just won't go to sleep and you are dead tired. It's ok to leave the baby screaming in her crib for a few minutes while you go into another room to cool down. There was many times I'd go out to the garage and have a tantrum of my own while the baby cried safely in her crib. There were many times I'd be the picture of blissful mommy-hood, calmly rocking my baby, crooning softly, all the while inside my head I'd be screaming "go to sleep, kid, before mommy loses her mind!" Thinking those thoughts is not the same as acting upon them.....

Kaymara · 01-22-2006, 03:33 AM

I didn't read through all of this so I may be repeating some stuff..Sorry
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**Labor**
Prepare yourself for the unexpected. I had 3 epi's and NONE worked for me. I ended up with an emergency C-section and when I went in there I really only considered that I would have my epi and have the baby.

**home**
I learned that wherever the baby will sleep, let em sleep for the first few weeks. The only way I could catch some zzz's was to let him snooze in the swing.

Breastfeeding can be difficult and low supply etc is real. I never even considered I would have a low supply and sadly I had to give it up after trying everything. I did make it to 4 and a half months but I cried for MONTHS over this.

Trust your instincts. My instincts told me something was wrong since my son wasn't pooping well after 2 weeks. Turns out that is when they found out I had such a low milk supply and that was the reason for no poopy diapers

Mylicon drops are lifesavers! These helped my son when he got gas etc

They poop ALOT! ANd sometimes they poop even before you finish the diaper change!

If you feel frusterated it is ok to place the baby in the crib or play pen etc to to reclaim yourself for a moment.

Accept help when offerred and sleep whenevr you are able. When the baby naps, instead of catching up on housework, etc use that time to sleep. The housework etc can wait but sleep cannot.

I learned that I really could function with 2 hours here, 2 hours there sleep. Not all babies sleep through the night very soon. Mine didn;t start until about 1 year old

Not all babies take pacifiers. Thought all of them liked them and boy was I wrong. My son HATED them

At night make sure you have a nightlight or something and try to do all the things you need to do in as much dark and quiet as possible. This way the baby won't wake totally up and is "usually" easier to get them back to sleep

Treasure each and every moment because time really does fly. I always knew it went fast but I never knew HOW fast until having my son

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G'luck all!

bonnieboo · 01-22-2006, 03:36 AM

Mommies, add your favorites! Things you will hear over and over that have absolutely no basis in fact. Be ready with your responses when your mil/crazy old aunt/plumber lays them on you (and they will!).

1) Holding and infant will spoil them.

Let's say this all together now...You cannot spoil and infant!!! Indulge yourself. Hold your baby 24/7, if you want. You can't spoil them till they're older. They do cry for you to come to them, but that's because they need you, and can't communicate any other way. So if they're hungry/wet/dirty/cold/lonely they will cry...PICK THEM UP and CUDDLE them all you want. As their little personalities develop, that early holding will make them more confident and independant. Infants have no concept of what it means to manipulate, so you cannot spoil them by responding to them. Some call the first three months outside the womb the fourth trimester. They're used to being all snuggled up and safe in your tummy, and out here they're exposed and vulnerable. Help them make the transition by holding them like crazy. They'd rather be in your tummy, but cuddling is the next best thing. (PS...it was my plumber who told me I was holding my week-and-a-half old baby too much, and would spoil her. EVERYONE thinks they have a right to tell you how to raise your kid)

2) Rice cereal in the bottle will make them sleep through the night.

No it won't. If it does, it is probably a coincidence (they were ready to sleep through the night anyway). Rice cereal often makes them sleep worse, in fact, because their little digestive systems can't handle it. So aside from being a choking hazard, and increasing a baby's risk of allergies and diabetes, it doesn't help them sleep. Doctors advise waiting till your baby is six months old to expose them to solid food, anyway, and rice cereal is no exception.

...what's your favorite myth?

bonnieboo · 01-22-2006, 03:51 AM

If you're ffing, you don't have to warm your baby's bottles...only if they demand it. My girl got warm stuff from the boob, but was just fine with cold stuff from the bottle. I guess a lot of people think you HAVE to warm them up, but it's just a matter of taste (the baby's taste
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). Personally, I'd try cold first, 'cause I bet it's a pain in the bottom to warm bottles in the middle of the night!

*katja* · 01-22-2006, 03:55 AM

Ok. . .honestly I haven't read that many of the replies to this because I am trying NOT to think about the newborn stage again at this point. . .LOL it is hard and I am not ready to even think about it again yet!

I think for us it will be easier this time around because of one biggie I learned. . .too late for the first one, but I will be keeping it in mind for the second. My baby's crying stressed me SOOOO much at the beginning. I would desperately try 10 different things in succession just to make him stop. . .did he need another feeding, swaddling, rocking, carrying around, bouncy seat, diaper change, check toes and fingers for strings wrapped aroudn them, swing, singing to him, shushing him, etc. etc. etc. . . and he probably no DEFINITELY he felt my desperation and it probably scared him, or at the least my efforts to quiet him stressed him out. It would spiral to more crying and I would end up feeling like my baby hated me. So what it took me a while to learn. . .

-Babies cry. It is hard going from being inside your mom's tummy to a world where there are bright lights, loud noises, where you can get hungry and cold and thirsty and tired. . .it takes some adjustment.

-It is ok that they cry, as long as you are there for them and have eliminated all obvious sources of discomfort. Sometimes they're just overwhelmed and need to express that with you there for quiet comfort. No need to run through an entire repetoire of comforting methods. . .try something and stick with it for a while to give the baby a chance to calm down. . .it can take a little while for them to "come down" from what's bothering them.

Good luck and keep in mind. . .it DOES get better and you will know your child better and even though it won't seem possible, love them more with every day that passes.

Piscesmomma97 · 01-22-2006, 03:57 AM

OK---

Labor/Delivery/PostPartum
- I never knew that I would bleed that much after delivery
- Just because you have a c-section doesn't mean your vagina isn't stretched out-- I couldn't wear a tampon my first postpartum period because it would fall out
- The first poop after delivery hurts badly if you have had a c-section-- I sat on the toilet for 45 minutes in tears

Newborn Baby
- The only exercise a baby gets is crying, so that's what the baby will do
- If you are breastfeeding-- no two ways around it-- you will probably crack and bleed and it does hurt while you are engorged
- If you don't have another child-- SLEEP whenever the baby sleeps. If you do have another child.
- As far as sleep goes, you do get used to not getting a lot of sleep. I've been living off of four hours a night for I don't know how long. You just get used to it eventually.
- Shower when the baby naps
- Invest in a good face cleanser/acne treatment. My face looks horrible right now due to post partum hormones, it'll clear up in another couple of months
- The baby weight will not come off right away, my weight loss stopped at about 2-3 weeks postpartum, I'm on weight watchers now.
- Don't invest in too many 0-3 months, if you want to buy any, buy it on Ebay or at garage sales. Don't register for 0-3 months, my son was in them for about 6-8 weeks, my daughter is in 3-6 months now.
- Don't buy too many "Newborn" sized diapers, rather get size ones.
- BF-ing moms-- LANIHSOL is AWESOME by some in bulk

bonnieboo · 01-22-2006, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *katja*

-It is ok that they cry, as long as you are there for them and have eliminated all obvious sources of discomfort. Sometimes they're just overwhelmed and need to express that with you there for quiet comfort.

Amen. Sometimes you just have to hold them lovingly while they cry. Being a good mom doesn't always mean stopping their crying. Just being there for them.

Daisychain · 01-22-2006, 04:50 AM

I just wanted to add something about the first BM after the c-section. I was terrified to go...terrified. I started taking Metimucil as soon as I could. My first BM was the weirdest feeling I ever felt, but it didn't hurt. Kind of slid out, sorry I know TMI. Now, my first pee after the catheter came out, oh yeah, that stung...but I expected that, it stung like that too after I had that "dye test" (forget what it's called, where they shoot the dye up in your uterus to get a look at your tubes).

If you do end up with a c-section, they put a catheter in for the first day. that sucks. And don't be in a hurry to eat regular food. YOu have to be "passing gas". Rushing food too soon will lead to serious, screaming in pain gas.

Formula feeding. I did formula feed, I used a cup of hot water to warm up the bottles. I did try it cold, but DD didn't like that. The bottle warmer was crap, did not do the job. There is no shame in not being able to bf. Breastmilk, of course, is better...but in the end, as long as the baby is getting fed, that's all that matters.

I agree with "you can't spoil a newborn". It must be scary to be suddenly yanked out of your nice comfy cocoon and into the bright cold world. I basically held my DD for the first few months, if she wanted to be held, that's what I did. If she wouldn't go to sleep anywhere but on me, for the sake of ME getting some sleep, I draped her on my chest. I did let her cry for a few minutes, if I was busy, but if I couldn't pick her up right away, I talked to her, let her know her mommy was there....

MsSuziQ · 01-22-2006, 05:47 AM

Lots of great advise ladies!! Thank you all so much!! I'll be checking back to see if anything new has been added. This is my first baby, so I know I have a lot to learn and look forward to!
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sg325 · 01-22-2006, 06:01 AM

This is the best thread ever!! Kinda scary and interesting at the same time...my first baby too, so keep the comments coming!!

Alisteal · 01-22-2006, 06:13 AM

I have some things from a preemie perspective

First off remember ALL babies are different! What worked for one may not and very likely will not work for your baby. That being said we use regular wipes, regular soaps, regular detergents with no problem.

If your baby is little people automatically thinks this means they are alloud to TOUCH your child! When we go out even to the hospital for Stormy's labs it's like we have a freaking sign on us 'idiots come this way' I've started glaring at anyone who comes CLOSE to her.

If you are going to 'wear' your baby. People will in public assume something is WRONG with your child because you are wearing her/him.

Nursing in public does get SOME looks but usually the person has to stare at you or walk by you 5-6xs before REALIZING that's what you are doing.

Your butt WILL sag!

we formula fed my daughter and NEVER warmed a bottle! She loved COLD formula from the fridge.

Bf'ing mom's if you plan to NIP nursing tank tops ROCK!

~!~~~~About Labour~!~~~~~

You CAN go from 5-9 in 15 minutes!! Found this out the hard way!

IF you go from 5-9 that quickly I suggest STILL getting the epi! You may feel the baby come out but you get to miss the dr stitching you up cause you ripped from things happening so fast.

Inductions CAN fail!

Ivs DO hurt and they bruise!

~~bf'ing moms~~~
If you bf and don't realize it and cut caffeine out without thinking about it. DON'T freak when you have a bad bad headache lol Drink a pepsi

~~post partum~~~

At the hospital you MIGHT pass clots and it's scarey especially when you FEEL them come out and they are baseball sized!

Some women DON'T bleed super heavily!

bonnieboo · 01-22-2006, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alisteal

Nursing in public does get SOME looks but usually the person has to stare at you or walk by you 5-6xs before REALIZING that's what you are doing.

...and you can NIP without anyone noticing. I NIP'd at a Houston Astros game, surrounded by people, and no one knew! My husband did help me get situated, but THAT's discreet. I also NIP'd at the home depot, target, many grocery stores, and several restaurants with no one really noticing...and if they did, they didn't appear offended.

I'm enjoying this thread WAY too much.

You moms are awesome! Keep it coming!

lilpeanut · 01-22-2006, 06:30 AM

LMAO OMG no one told me that I should invest in a nursing bra b4 I came home from the hospital.

No one ever told me when my milk came in my feet my get mysteriously soaked.

And when your BFing and you take warm showers make sure you have something to dry your sprayers off with so the rest of your body doesnt get all sticky.

Alisteal · 01-22-2006, 07:05 AM

Quote:

No one ever told me when my milk came in my feet my get mysteriously soaked.

And when your BFing and you take warm showers make sure you have something to dry your sprayers off with so the rest of your body doesnt get all sticky

AMEN!! My feet have had a milk bath quite a few times! Hopefully there's truth in the rumor that milk is good for your skin
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