Things no one told me about a newborn... - Page 6

jbowman432 · 01-23-2006, 02:22 PM

O.k. my biggest advice I could give is you may not fall deeply in love at first sight. I think most of the time it is made out to be the most perfect moment of your life. I had like 72 hrs of hardly any sleep I was sooo tired when she was born. She also had to be wisk away due to meconium. It wasnt that perfect moment they show on tv and movies. I think it is over hyped about how perfect it will be. I was so depressed about this but now there are a lot of moms that tell me simialar experiences.

You can never be prepared for how much the contractions hurt. There is NO way to describe it.

I was shocked the first time I went to go pee and went to wipe. I was sooo swollen I about fell over.

alleycat7 · 01-23-2006, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilpeanut

There is nothing more comforting than letting your sweet little angel sleep on your chest so that you can hold him/her close and feel your entire body just SMILE....

I was just talking to DH about this yesterday! There is truly something about a screaming baby only being comforted by laying on mom's chest. For me, that is one of the most wonderful things - my HB and smell and breathing are what calms her b/c she's used to all of these things from growing inside. Undescribable!

Another interesting thing for me was that I knew I could love this little person as much as I do - that was never a question as we tried to have her for over 3 years. However, no one could prepare me for falling head over heels in love with my husband again. He has been wonderful taking care of me and DD and I love him even more than I did before (which I didn't think was possible).

The most important piece of advice is said over and over on here - TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! DO IT!

Christa01 · 01-23-2006, 04:32 PM

Ok here is another one from me:

Babies are very noisy sleepers. They make all kinds of grunts and grones during sleep, to the point that you wake up a million times thinking they are awake just to find that their little peepers are still shut tight. You will eventually be able to tell what is asleep sounds from what is an awake sound. You really will be suprised at how loud they are.

Christa

kmichelle · 01-23-2006, 06:37 PM

And as a follow up to Christa's post-- Don't feel bad if you have to move them to their own room to get some sleep of your own! We only let Kara sleep in the pack and play next to our bed for a week or so, and then moved her to the bassinette in her "own" room with the baby monitor on!

Oh, and white noise is a must!! We finally turned the radio on for our little munchkin so she could stay asleep!! It was just too quiet for her.

Being a mommy is going to be the hardest, and I think the most rewarding job you will ever have! Enjoy every minute of it!

Ammaarah · 01-23-2006, 08:21 PM

For those who will breastfeed or who are thinking about it:

On night 2 or 3, your darling child will probably cry a lot and want to nurse all the time. If you had a hospital birth, some kindly nurse may suggest supplementing. Stay strong and refuse. Babies have always survived on Mom's colostrum for the first few days. You are NOT starving your baby! There are some who supplemented and were OK, but it is risky. Also, your baby has a virgin gut when born and even after one bottle of formula, his or her gut flora changes for a few weeks. Sounds like no big deal but who wants to make all-night fart-a-thons any worse in those early days!?

I am not trying to harp on the supplementation issue but watch a few episodes of "Bringing Home Baby" on TLC and you can see for yourself what I'm talking about. Many moms supplement "until their milk comes in" but they never gain a full supply because of the supplementing. Most of the BHB moms who supplement are totally bottlefeeding by the follow-up part of the episode a couple months after birth. I'm not trying to get down on formula feeding moms (plenty of my friends FF and I love them and they're great moms) or those who need to supplement but I just want to put this out there.

Another thing about BFing and PCOS: some PCOSers have low supply, but an equal number have OVERSUPPLY! And some, Goldilocks, have a supply that is JUST RIGHT.
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Also, there are a lot of negative stories about BFing, and I know that some women have a damn hard time. But it really helped me escape serious PPD, and even though we had some probs, we didn't experience the first six weeks of hell that some describe. Not everybody does. I was lucky enough to have a couple great nurses who really worked with us on latch, and a friend who helped me correct other latching issues that came up a few weeks later, and I faithfully used Lansinoh after every nursing and before every shower, and I never had cracking, bleeding, or even extreme soreness. Obviously, it took a little adjusting to get used to a little one sucking for 12 hours a day, but it never was that painful, and I have very thin, sensitive skin. So just my experience, but I really believe that if you have a good latch and use a lot of Lansinoh ALL THE TIME, you might be able to avoid the major ouch problems.

There will be times your little bun-bun screams bloody murder for no apparent reason. These do not indicate you are a terrible mom or anything, or that your baby is starving, or has some awful condition. Remember, they go from a place of little stimulus, into this loud, cold, bright, scratchy, awful world! So they need to cry to blow off steam sometimes. Just hold them, and you may even want to wear earplugs, since they are so damn loud you won't believe it!

Oh, and if you're nursing, you may wanna get NetFlix or something like that around the 4-week mark when little honey bunny will have you pinned to the couch nursing for hours on end. Try to roll with it. I really believe it's nature's way of helping us slow down and recuperate after pregnancy and childbirth. Nursing doesn't always fit well with our lifestyle, but I don't think it's nursing's fault, maybe it's our lifestyle that's the problem.
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Oh, and everything will get easier. And sleep 'n' plays rule!
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bonnieboo · 01-23-2006, 08:28 PM

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Thank you Ammarrah-the-Wise! Great advice!

Zinzara · 01-23-2006, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammaarah

I was lucky enough to have a couple great nurses who really worked with us on latch, and a friend who helped me correct other latching issues that came up a few weeks later

Further on this... I wish someone had told me that I would have to expose my bbs 15 times per day to total strangers, sometimes in groups, with a crying baby and an embarassed DH in the mix. I was mortified more than once, wish I had been prepared. I learned my lesson and when the nurse/lactation consultant/doctor/pedi wanted to "check my latch" I made sure that every other hanger on went elsewhere, it makes it less stressful and less awkward.

And, about putting baby in their own room... I never slept more than 20 minutes at a time when my DD was in our bedroom, once I moved her to her own room not only did I sleep longer, but so did she! (I guess mommas can make noise sleeping too!) I think I disturbed her sleep as much as she disturbed mine.

Zinzara · 01-23-2006, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynnz

You know you will bleed after giving birth - you just don't know how MUCH you'll bleed (yikes- why oh why didn't anyone tell me about the volume???)

That's why they make pp pads the size of a small country!
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saluki_fan · 01-24-2006, 04:15 AM

OK, I've only been a mom for 2 weeks now but here's what I have learned:

a) If you think something is wrong, TRUST YOUR GUT. I KNEW something wasn't right and sensed I had a problem with the cord. I learned from someone in my support group about a suspected link between fetal hiccips and cord accidents. My baby had the hiccups all the time and I mentioned this to my doctor. He then insisted that cord issues were rare and I was being overly anxious due to my past. (Said in a nice way, but still not appreciated by me and DH.) Well then my baby didn't tolerate labor well (heart rate dropped every time I had a contraction, then MY blood pressure started dropping) and we had to have a c-section - and guess what? He had a knot in his cord. That's also probably why he didn't get too big in utero. The doctor admitted later that he may not have made it through 6 to 8 more hours of labor (I was dilated to 5 when he recommended the c-section due to heart rate and blood pressure.) TRUST YOUR GUT and don't let your doctor tell you that you're being silly!

2) BFing hurts like a
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at first (at least it did for me). They don't tell you THAT in the BFing class! it gets better around the 4th day when your milk comes in. And whoa momma, you'll know when your milk comes in! Actually, Bfing (at least the latch-on part, especially on the left side) STILL really hurts for me and I don't know how much longer I'll stick it out, but I aim to keep trying for at least another week or two. I did supplement a few nights in the hospital and had no problems with supply. We were focusing on getting his weight up since he was so little; they had me pump on the days he was supplemented.

3) Bring LOOSE SHOES to wear home from the hospital. I had sneakers / trail running shoes and wool socks, and had to undo the laces and still could barely put my shoes on. Somehow I "lost" my ankles the first week I was home. Luckily they have returned!

4) If you have to have a c-section, request for the epidural to remain in for a day or two afterwards. you'll feel invincible! And request aggressive pain management. My recovery from the c-section has actually been quite easy because of a good pain management plan. The recovery from my appendectomy in June 2004 was WAY worse, and I didn't even have a baby to care for back then.

5) Epidurals make you SHAKE! I didn't know that, and thought I was cold, but no amount of warm blankets could make it stop. My arms were shaking like crazy during the c-section, that was scary.

6) I was amazed at how much you can bleed vaginally after a c-section! It's not painful, though.

7) Even if you don't gain a lot of weight during pregnancy, you're still going to look 5-6 months PG when you leave the hospital. 2 weeks later, I've deflated somewhat, but look maybe 4 months pregnant still.

8) Bring at least one preemie outfit to the hospital, just in case the baby is too small for 0-3 month stuff.

that's all I can think of right now...I'm a newbie and actually think this may be my first post on the Mommy Board...

bonnieboo · 01-24-2006, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saluki_fan

Actually, Bfing (at least the latch-on part, especially on the left side) STILL really hurts for me and I don't know how much longer I'll stick it out, but I aim to keep trying for at least another week or two.

((HUGS)) Meghan. I know this is not the place for advice, but I know lawgirl had serious pain for quite awhile (like two months, I think), but they're doing great now. Maybe PM her for some tips? Also, an LC or a member of LLL (they're usually available 24/7, and they're not usually the raving lunatics you hear about!) can help. I'm so sorry! Pain was not my problem...

It was supply, bringing me to....

Quote:

Originally Posted by saluki_fan

I did supplement a few nights in the hospital and had no problems with supply. We were focusing on getting his weight up since he was so little; they had me pump on the days he was supplemented.

I didn't notice a supply problem right away, either, and at two weeks I would have insisted there was none. But it's insidious, and I think I irretrievably damaged my supply by supplementing in the hospital and beyond. I'm sure, though, since you're more informed of that possibility than I was, you can bf/pump you way around it! (ps...aid was small, too. In fact, except for the cord, our birth stories are so similar it's a little freaky!)

Thanks for sharing advice while it's all so new. Stuff that is top of mind for you may be a hazy memory for others of us (in fact the first three months of aid's life are pretty hazy for me
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). Your thoughts are really valuable....

Love, b

Megan · 01-24-2006, 07:38 AM

"this will end".

When DD wouldn't sleep and I was so tired that I just wanted to lie down and sob myself into a coma, I would recite my mantra, stolen from an Australian baby book.

Set goals. I used to think "if I can make it until she is 6 weeks old, things will change". They always did. Before you know it, they are sleeping, feeding, pooping and doing all the things you have been begging for in the first few weeks.

Sleep deprivation can't kill you and it will make you much more appreciative of the occasional nap as baby grows older.

The first time your baby sleeps through the night, or for a number of consecutive hours,it is normal to panic. Resist the urge to wake them and instead, tiptoe out of the room, lay your head on something soft and slumber yourself. You will wake when baby wakes - guaranteed.

One day, your baby will be old enough to crawl over to you, climb up in your lap and very deliberately put his or her arms around you in the sweetest hug known on earth. Suddenly, those difficult first weeks will be but a dim memory. A few months later, she will bless you with an open-mouthed, sloppy kiss and you will say "difficult times? what difficult times?". Truly.

Allow yourself hours to gaze at your baby and to contemplate how lucky you are. It has much the same effect as chocolate, without the weight gain!

Enjoy your baby - remember how hard you struggled to conceive him or her and how you took such good care of yourself during pregnancy. Even in the darkest moment, remind yourself that this difficult time is a thousand times better than those days when you thought you would never have a baby of your own.

Brag about your baby. Bore people stiff with stories. Tell the world how much in love you are.

Bright blessings

Megan the OzFarmer

Angela28 · 01-24-2006, 11:15 AM

What a great thread. I have been reading it thinking "I remember that!". It's amazing the things you forget. Well said, Megan!

I would also agree with "trust your instincts". It has been true for me a few times!

I found a great book was "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. Not so much the BFing parts, but interpreting baby's behaviour (their tired, hungry, etc signals), and getting into a flexible routine. When DS was about 8 weeks, he stopped going to sleep straight after a feed, and I didn't recognise when he was tired, and his nap times dropped right off becuase he was overtired. Once we had a consistent bedtime routine, and I knew the tired signals to look for, he was back on track (and has been ever since!).

Someone else mentioned about not feeling that absolute love as soon as you see your baby for the first time- ditto! I was just in shock that this thing had come out of me. But the love grew as I got to know him!

Jenika21 · 01-24-2006, 08:00 PM

Wow I LOVE this thread. If it hasn't been made a sticky already...it really should! I know I will be searching through it come July (and I won't have much time to dig through old posts then!)

yhwhisholy11 · 01-24-2006, 08:26 PM

Megan - what great advise, brought me to tears. Thank you, I am going to start using those throughout this last stretch. I guess it's not over once the baby is delivered!!

bonnieboo · 01-24-2006, 08:45 PM

A thread on the mommy board made me think of this. The pedi in our hospital, and the pedi we chose for after both agreed, you don't need to put anything on the baby's umbilical stump. Just keep it dry. We folded her diaper under it, and it fell of nicely -- with no blood. The pedi told us to give it a little time after it fell off to completely heal before giving her a bath. Aid had her first bath when she was two weeks, two days old...

That was just our experience, though...