Thinking Adoption?

PaulaCystic · 02-16-2009, 10:40 PM

k i just had to post an adoption advertisment just in case there are lurkers who are considering adoption.

Adoption does not have to be a back up plan. Finally letting yourself get to the stage of adoption is not a sign that you failed as a women and have to turn somewhere else for babies. My husband and i did foster care for years. We had not got pregnant yet but it is not that we were ever told we couldn't have children. I did maybe one round of clomid when we started fostering. And i think i wouldn't even let us have sex because we got placed with a large sibling group when i was on clomid and feared that would be when we got pregnant.

Honestly if we would have had our own birth children first we probably wouldn't have gotten into fostering. We ended up adopting a sibling group we had as foster children. 5 beautiful children, 9 mo old twins, 18 month old boy, 3 year old boy and 7 year old girl. A few months after the adoption was final we were shocked when my boobs started hurting and i found out i was pregnant. I miscarried, but yet i think that was my warning wake up call to prepare myself for yet another child. I know we will have a birth child to add to our family.

I think sometimes certain babies need to come to certain families. I feel no matter how many drugs or doctors things we would have done, until we had our adopted children, we never would have got pregnant.

I was afraid i would never be able to fully accept an adopted child as mine. I did not think that would be fair to the child or to me. But i had a baby for 15 months in foster care, i soon realized it was not giving birth to her that made her mine, it was all the mothering. The physical ability to give birth is like running a mile in 5 minutes. Some people can do it, and some people can't. Some people make terrible mothers even though they can give birth. I look at adoption as a way of righting some of the wrongs in the world. Not a nasty thing a couple has to be embarrassed about doing.

So if you are considering it, don't be afraid. If it feels right, do it. The world or other opinions be damned.

I tell my children all the time, they were so special i got to hand pick them. Other moms are stuck with whoever they birth. I knew them before they were mine and i still wanted them!

For all those who are going over seas to adopt, or don't think they can afford to adopt. Please remember that there are thousands of children in the US in our court systems that need families. Sibling groups or children who are a bit older are crying out for someone to care. Adoptions through the state are free and you get a huge tax bonus for adopting through the state.

Thank you for your time I will take my soap box with me.
Much love,