I've been having lots of reminders of my girls lately, coming up to what would be their 3rd birthday, i just cant believe the time has gone by. Yesterday i saw twin girls in a shopping cart at walmart in the check out and i just stared at them, and the mommy...and wondered what it would be like to be her. But they made me smile, there was a time i would have run out of the store in hysterics...as some of you may remember. Then i thought of my Logan and how the girls picked him out from Heaven for me, and thought about the roller coaster of emotions i've been on the last 2+ years...and i see with much sadness that some of you are just starting the journey..its just so unfair.....
i just wanted to say to you all that i couldnt help but wonder about my cysters, some old friends and some new faces here on the board, i'm so sorry for all the losses and sadness and i just wanted to say i was thinking of you...
sighhhhhhh
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oh, that's so nice. It's so good to know that you had a baby after your mc. I'm so scared that I'm going to mc again when I get pregnant. I see in your siggy you went through a lot (bedrest, etc.) but it just gives me hope!! Thanks!
__________________ Julie To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
KYLE WILLIAM IS HERE!!! BORN 8/4/07 - 8LBS 12OZ, 21 1/2 INCHES
Thanks for checking in, Kim. I think of my cysters in loss a lot and also sigh when I think that there are so many of us and new losses that are so excruciating and difficult to even breathe through. You are a good friend, and I have always appreciated your presence here. If there's anything on the other side of this life, you and I will be having some very long tea parties with our three girls someday!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Kim, Thanks so much for thanking about us. I think about everyone all the time too. Life seems so unfair. But we have come a long way in the past 2-3 years haven't we? Life has changed to a point that we never imagined that we would be at. I thought people were crazy when they said it will get easier and less painfulo over time. But they were right, they have been through it too so they knew.
And although we have gotten to this point in our struggles, everyday, it seems, there is a new cyster starting on the same horrible journey. My heart aches for my cysters that are just learning this horrbile pain. What a long road they have ahead of them. Lucky for us there were cysters here for us and now we can be here for some other cysters too.
Hugs to you. I know that you have struggled a lot with the lose of Aimee and Dana. You have also grown into a strong supportive women through all that you have been through, the lose of your neice too.
Maggie, I wondered if you remembered me from that thread. I often stalk you on the adoption board to see how things are going, but I never comment because I didn't know if you would remember me or not.
oh where to start??!! Sheri the kettle is on girlfriend!! Its too bad we had to wait so long...but i know now there is a place beyond this earth, and our girls are waiting for us. Do you remember the dream my mom had about aimee and dana, how they were babysat by Jesus and he was a little flustered with them tying His sandal laces together and being total brats...how hearing that made me laugh out loud for the first time since they'd died? I can just see us having to ditch the tea and get out the heavenly playpens...just to keep them quiet! Clarissa the TTCAL thread and all of you who were there with me is a big part of my healing journey...do you remember those days when we'd all gt on the puter and just spew all our emotions...and how just knowing there was a cyber cyster out there somewhere helped ease those tears?? I remember, all too well, how all of you were there for me and with me...and like you said what a journey we've been on. I feel like we are a graduating class kinda, like we need a reunion or something...
and MAGGIE...i always will remember you...your strenth and just plain balls girl! what you've been through...and now you're adopting...i'm SO glad for you...Your determination was always such an inspiration...you take care and i wish you all the luck in the world!
ps Julie...i'm sending you the biggest hug right now...as you can see there are some of us who cant seem to let go of this thread even though we've moved forward so to speak...please know that we all felt the way you do right now...time is your best friend at this point and in time things might not make any more sense but at least it may not be so all consuming...as i remember all too well is un avoidable at this point. I'm so sorry for the loss of your angel. Take care of you...
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Kim, You are writing like you are inspired. My guess is that you have been thinking about the girls ALOT lately. Not that you don't think about them on a daily basis, but you know what I mean. I do remember those days. How can I forget. Without you girls to lean on, gosh, I don't know. I guess I would have had to go to therapy, but that wouldn't have helped, because no one could understand unless they have been there. You all have no idea how much all of you mean to me. I look at little Alex and Syndey's box that now has a spot on the shelf in the top of my closet, and I think about them, about the days mouring them, but I also think about all of you because you were there for me.
It is hard to let go of the thread that we once shared. There is one on the Motherhood board, but it is rarely visited by anyone. Everyone is so busy now, and for good reason, weather it be our children, ttc, or adopting, we are all much busier now than we were then. We have been able to pick up the pieces and move on, to let other things occupy our time. Gosh, back then I didn't think it was possible. Now I look at it and think, Did I really make it this far?
((hugs)), everyone! It's hard to believe that Rivi's second birthday is approaching! Saturday marks the day my water broke, and his birthday is October 6. As hard as it is to make it through each day, it IS easier this year than last (last year, pregnancy hormones made it even worse!).
I'm so glad for those of us who've been able to move past the fear to try again, and I'm so sorry for the new members of our sad club. Fall is an especially busy time here.
Yes, I tend to frequent the loss boards more in the Fall and Spring. Alex was due in November, but I lost her in April (Fall, Spring) I lost Sydney in June, so I am around here a lot then too. But I know exactly what you are talking about, it is when we are at our lowest.
Kim and Clarrissa-I will NEVER forget you even if you change siggies!!! You gals were always there for me! Now I am just praying that this adoption does go thru! I have not heard anything else about it and getting nervous like crazy! It doesn't help that AF is in full force here today. I feel like total crap!!! The cramps hurt so bad they were almost as bad as labor pains! It felt like I had to push the pressure was that bad, and that a hand was just twirling away like a hoola-hoop was up inside me. Ever had that kind of feeling? It totally freaked me out!
I finally think I have the pain under control with a thermacare patch and advil (800mgs). I am making a call to my OBGYN to see him and get back on BCP's to help regulate and bring my hormones level (I hope this happens, I am a total witch right now. I snap at almost everything and everyone).
Well my couch is calling me, sitting up for so long starts to hurt.
I will check in later if I can sit up a bit longer.
Love you gals!!!
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Well Maggie, you have to keep us informed about the adoption. Where are you in the prcess right now? Where are you adopting from, did I read somewhere China?
I am not posting on the adoption board, you must have read it on the TTC after loss board/preggy after loss board. This adoption is very local and close to me. It is one of my best friend's cousin that is preggy and doesn't want to be a single mom (unplanned pregnancy). I just found out like 3 wks ago about her pregnancy so it is still very early on. I will post once I know more of what is going on, so for now I wait
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Was thinking of you all today... 
But they made me smile, there was a time i would have run out of the store in hysterics...as some of you may remember. 
Then i thought of my Logan and how the girls picked him out from Heaven for me, and thought about the roller coaster of emotions i've been on the last 2+ years...and i see with much sadness that some of you are just starting the journey..its just so unfair.....
Sheri the kettle is on girlfriend!! Its too bad we had to wait so long...but i know now there is a place beyond this earth, and our girls are waiting for us. Do you remember the dream my mom had about aimee and dana, how they were babysat by Jesus and he was a little flustered with them tying His sandal laces together and being total brats...how hearing that made me laugh out loud for the first time since they'd died? I can just see us having to ditch the tea and get out the heavenly playpens...just to keep them quiet! Clarissa the TTCAL thread and all of you who were there with me is a big part of my healing journey...do you remember those days when we'd all gt on the puter and just spew all our emotions...and how just knowing there was a cyber cyster out there somewhere helped ease those tears?? I remember, all too well, how all of you were there for me and with me...and like you said what a journey we've been on. 
I feel like we are a graduating class kinda, like we need a reunion or something...
what you've been through...and now you're adopting...i'm SO glad for you...Your determination was always such an inspiration...you take care and i wish you all the luck in the world!
is in full force here today. I feel like total crap!!! The cramps hurt so bad they were almost as bad as labor pains! It felt like I had to push the pressure was that bad, and that a hand was just twirling away like a hoola-hoop was up inside me. Ever had that kind of feeling? It totally freaked me out! 
