For thoses who have told your partner about your pcos
When did u tell them??? When u guys were thinking about
trying to have a baby???
Or What???
And how did u tell your partner???
I'm 18 now and have been with my boyfriend for 20 months now. I told him about it probably 2 months into the relationship - not at any special time; I just had to get it off my chest. I explained everything to him and despite him not fully comprehending what PCOS was entirely at the time, he told me that he was fine with it and that it didn't matter. He's still fine with it and is a great supporter.
I told my husband when I first started having sympthoms. We're looking to have our first in the next 3 years, I made sure he knew I *might* not be able to have children BEFORE we got married though, incase it was a deal breaker.
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For thoses who have told your partner about your pcos
When did u tell them???
We were already together when I first was diagnosed. But before the official dx, he already knew I has a long history of wonky periods and stuff and this conversation came when we were thinking of becoming lovers. It was part of the sex history, sex health, Birth control, etc convo.
When u guys were thinking about trying to have a baby??? Or What???
No, way before then. When we were talking about getting married we didn't have my dx, but we stopped to consider how my unknown health issues might affect our wishes for having kids. Before it was about preventing pregnancy and TTA, and at that point it was about TTC.
And how did u tell your partner???
Just straight out. "Hey, if we're going to get married, we need to talk religion, kids, politics, job, where to live, eldercare, death, and all that other 'big life' stuff. Because I don't want to find out surprises AFTER."
What's a deal breaker??
And What do u mean by that???
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellezearing
I told my husband when I first started having sympthoms. We're looking to have our first in the next 3 years, I made sure he knew I *might* not be able to have children BEFORE we got married though, incase it was a deal breaker.
How did u explain it to him??
Like what all did u say to him???
Quote:
Originally Posted by BiPolarBear
I'm 18 now and have been with my boyfriend for 20 months now. I told him about it probably 2 months into the relationship - not at any special time; I just had to get it off my chest. I explained everything to him and despite him not fully comprehending what PCOS was entirely at the time, he told me that he was fine with it and that it didn't matter. He's still fine with it and is a great supporter.
While we were engaged, I went from a thin "healthy" woman with slightly irregular periods to a full-blown PCOS poster child.
We were both relieved to finally have an answer, especially after I gained almost 100 lbs in a year without drastic changes to my diet or lifestyle.
So, my DH and I learned about it together. At that point we were already in a strong, committed relationship.
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dx PCOS Fall 2000 TTC since Sept 2006 1st BFP Dec 2006 lost @8 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
What's a deal breaker??
And What do u mean by that???
I'm pretty sure she meant that by "deal breaker" she wanted to tell her soon-to-be husband that she might not be able to have kids BEFORE marriage actually took place because not being able to have kids might have broken the "deal" of marriage - having kids can be just as important to men. It would only be fair to tell someone before marriage imo becuase if the woman you married couldn't give you a child (like women are biologically made to do), then it would be an unpleasant surprise. Finding this out after marriage is almost like withholding information; like you wouldn't be getting what you signed up for (wouldn't get kids out of marriage).
I have known for 14 years that I have PCOS. When I was dating my first husband and he mentioned marriage I decided that it would be wrong not to tell him about my health issues and the potential issues with conceiving. I would say it was about 3 months into the relationship when he brought up marriage and I just basically asked him if he would want children. He said yes so I explained to him that I have a condition that can make conceiving extremely difficult and can cause other health issues and that we may need fertility assistance to have children. I gave him time to think about it and we ended up married 5 years later. Unfortunately, I found out after two years of marriage that he didn't want children until he was older and had finished "having a good time". He had known that I was told that I should try to have my first child by age 25 and that should make it easier. He waited until after I was 25 to say that he was ready for kids and then when we started fertility treatments he did practically everything in his power to sabotage them. During the divorce, which happened for many reasons, he said he was glad that we never had kids because he never wanted kids with me anyways. In hindsight I am glad that we failed to have children as well because it would have been terrible to put them thru the divorce too. I have since remarried to a wonderful man who is very supportive. When he and I were dating about 2 months he asked me to marry him (we had been friends for a while and he knew that I had been TTC with my ex). I got to relive the conversation again by asking if he wanted children. Unlike my ex he was quick to respond that he wanted children like crazy. I explained about the PCOS and the difficulties with conceiving and health issues and all and then patiently waited for him to decide if it was a problem. He was quick to respond that he still wanted to be with me and would be there no matter what it took to give us children. We got married in 2007 and have been TTC since and he is still just as supportive. I guess the point is that you have to decide how serious your relationship is. Do you think that your relationship is on the track to potentially wanting to conceive a child with the person?
DH and I have been together since we were 19 (he is only 6 months older)...when we were 23, we started TTC. So, he heard everything I learned from the doctors as I learned it
He was pretty laid back about it...his attitude was "well, if we have kids, great. If it doesn't happen, oh well". Took 10 years before DD#1 surprised us...
__________________ Jenny
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I found out in 2007 and I never told my BF until he asked me about my periods and why they were socrazy. I didnt end up telling him until 2008 and he really didnt understand and I was still trying to deal with all of my emotions myself so I just brushed him off. I ended up really talking to him and telling him everything lately. Even though we have been together for 3 years im still a very private person. but it took a lot for me to let him in and trust him to be mature and im glad that he is here for me and can handle all of this, it feels good to not be alone. Overall he handled it pretty well and he is always pushing me to diet and exercise. Its so cute. hopefully he can soon become my DH instead of my BF. LOL
i've been married for 10 years and i'm miserable with my husband. for awhile i thought maybe it was the way i was feeling. i expressed to him how sick i felt and simply gave me a cop-out saying that i'm just lazy. at the time i was hypoglycemic and anemic but didn't know. during the same time i got pregnant and it only made the symptoms so much worse. i couldn't eat, i couldn't get out of the bed and had to stop going to school at the university. he argued about me not having sex with him, not cooking and not cleaning and it's good i didn't have the energy to even get mad at the time, i was too weak.
during my pregnancy i had gestational diabetes so i piled on the weight but couldn't keep any food down which worsened my anemia. so all this time i had to listen to him whine about his needs and this was in 1999. after i had my baby, my sex drive simply disappeared all together i didn't know why. i did have harsh feelings towards him but he wasn't done with me yet.
we started talking about marraige again and plans started to form but i was tired of shacking up with him especially after i had my baby. i told him i wanted to get married within a month but i wanted to go to the justice of the peace. i promised him his wedding for him and his family (who i really don't like) when i lost all the baby weight because i wanted to look good. he said no because HE wanted this and HIS FAMILY wanted this. i was like, well what about what i want? well, he wouldn't budge so i left to my mom's house around 2 and a half hours away....he let me leave.
i ended up going back around 3 weeks later so i was 8 months pregnant at the time. things didn't get any better. i remained hurt and bitter and now it's 2009 and i feel cold towards him and i don't know what to do. should i just let it go or what? he doesn't seem to understand me. heck, it doesn't seem he understands women.
we've talked about divorce, more now than ever but i've been a stay at home mom most of the time. if i did leave, i wouldn't be able to take care of myself and my 2 kids (14 and 10). i need help as far as my rights, etc. please, please, please someone tell me what i should do. i don't want to have sex with him anymore, we barely talk and it's not getting any better.
the last thing he said that really ticked me off was that he wanted me to give him the remainind of my income tax money to put down on a car which he will be using 99% of the time. BUT i need that money because he has no insurance on me or the kids whatsoever, never have. i've been using the money for my dr. appointments, meds and such. he told me i'm a grown woman and he shouldn't have to pay for my insurance but he does have it for himself and won't pay for me because he says it's too expensive.
@ anti-bodee, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. In short, you need to look at your life and where your priorities are. I would almost guarantee that your kids are #1 on the list, and that being said, a broken home is sometimes much better than one in which the parents argue and are not happy. If your husband is not willing to work things out, go to marriage counselling, or whatever - then I would try to find a way out. Good luck to you.
For Thoses Who Have?? 
