Throwing stuff in anger :o(

*Shellie_Star* · 07-16-2005, 01:24 PM

Ok...

My first venture into the depression forums.

I think I was a bit scared to admit to myself before now that I needed to maybe look in here for advice but I've gone for the plunge today so apologies in advance for my babbling.

Does anyone else get tension/anger/depression build up in them so much they they suddenly snap and pick up anything and throw it at and hitting anything/anyone?

I had a bad incident today where I ripped my sisters pan of cooking of the cooker and threw it everywhere in rage. It was really dangerous with the gas going, boiling food etc., and very thoughtless. A very 'spare of the moment' rage thing which I can't explain the reasoning for. I hit a few people that were around as they were trying to control me and I was screaming, punching etc., and I just totally lost the plot completely.

I have thrown stuff and hit people before before but not to this extent of bad anger inside which I can't even explain to myself, let alone feel like I can begin to fix easily.

If anyone has any advice on what they do in those situations to stay calm or channel bad energy or just in general I would be very grateful.

Thanks for reading.

x

heather090702 · 07-16-2005, 01:55 PM

Michelle, I am so glad you decided to come over here. There is so much support and understanding in this forum. I tend to get seriously moody and irritable and seclude into myself rather than let it out like you do. Have you spoken to a doctor about this? I bet you would benefit from therapy....getting it all out in the open can do wonders.

I really wish I had more to offer you but I can offer ((((hugs)))) and a supportive ear whenever you need it. Please take care of yourself.

Heather

*Shellie_Star* · 07-16-2005, 02:12 PM

Thanks for replying Heather and understanding.

I think my problem may be that I am terrible at explaining my feelings to anyone, even those close to me and I do bottle them up and keep stuff to myself and then I get a moment like today where something triggers and it all explodes

Luckily I do get on with my family really well and I have spoken to them about today's incident (I still live @ home with my parents) and my Dad said he will come to te doctor with me this week if I want him to which was nice of him, although I think I'll go alone but will definately see what the doctor says as it seems to be getting worse

Thanks again and (((hugs))) back

x

AlyBlu · 07-16-2005, 03:01 PM

I would let your Dad go with you. That is an amazing amount of support.

I do not get violent but i will scream and scream and scream. My husband knows that I am letting of pressure and it does not bother him ( I am not screaming words, just sounds).

Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

omcv · 07-16-2005, 03:13 PM

In addition to the support, it is nice to have another persons point of view. I mean sometimes I forget to tell the doctor everything. I get into the room and get nervous and then forget to tell the dr valuable information. Though it would probabky help if I wrote things down too. Which ever is easier for you. But dr like to see we have support. I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression and the dr said, 'do have friends and family that will be able to help out, etc?'

I still have my moments when I can't seem to control myself. Then not even a few minutes after I have done something, do I feel horrible. Remember we are our own worse enemy!

P.S. I used to live in Newcastle upon Tyne and gpt married in Northumberland.

heather090702 · 07-16-2005, 03:20 PM

Anytime you need me, I'm here.

Heather

*Shellie_Star* · 07-16-2005, 03:21 PM

You have all made some very helpful points, thanks for all your help

Usually my mum comes to the PCOS doctor with me at the hospital because usually I do forget to tell them stuff and equally there is so much info to remember that they give me that usually I forget half of that too

So I think after thinking this through I wil take someone with me.

p.s. Do you know Alnwick in Northumberland, I really like it there and around that area

ryes love bug · 07-16-2005, 04:22 PM

Like Michelle I have never plungged into the thought of depression.

However I cry all the time. I don't want to be depressed all i ever want to be is normal. My problem is that i cry...and cry....and cry.... a perfect example...I was having a ****ty day on fri so my Boy friend shows up at work with roseses well guess what I cried....I was so In love....we went oout to dinner and then went home to be with each other...and well we get home the phone rings he starts watching TV which is fine I get off the phone get naked to surprise him..and he's not interested....I said that's fine and said I'm going to bed...well i started crying because he dosen't love me anymore..He comes running in thinking I'm dying concerned for me and them I cry more....It's not fair to him that I tell him that I'm fine when i'm not...But when I'm like that I feel that I have completly lost it It's time for the phsyc ward for me...My bf says it's normal but I don't like putting him threw this and I don't think it is i don't even know what depression is...Some days I'm "normal" and other days i fly off the handle...confussed???

Suzi33 · 07-16-2005, 05:13 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way! (((((Hugs))))) Well, I agree with these wonderful ladies, speak to your doctor. I have been feeling much like you are, but I'm more like Heather, and bottle things up. I wish I had more to offer you, but I haven't been able to figure out how to deal with it myself and it's driving me crazy! I hope you find answers soon. Please take care and come talk to us whenever you feel the need. We are always here.

Suzie

linny loo · 07-16-2005, 05:51 PM

hi

i don't have any particular advice i just wanted to say i understand what you are saying when i used toi get really depressed i didn't cry alot or moan i would get so angry because i wanted things to change but didn't know how i also find it very difficult to talk about what bothers me but i found counsellin very helpful because they don't knwo you so theres no chance of u hurting their feelings which is y i usually find it hard to talk to people i know about things

i agreee having your dad go with you will be massive support for you i also agree counselling does wonders especially since you have someone you can go shout at or talk to about what is bothering you

i find when i get angry i have to remove myself from the room or the place because i jst cannot calm down while i am still in the atmosphere that caused the anger if that makes sense

i wish you every luck with the counselling and if you ever need any1 to talk i am always here

love lyndsey

dellwood · 07-16-2005, 08:13 PM

I think the doctor's is a good idea and it is lovely of your Dad to offer to go with you. Your family are probably worried about you and want to do whatever they can to support you--it is so difficult when someone you love is going through difficulties and you feel powerless to help them. So this is his way of showing you he loves you and wants to help.
Once your hormones get screwed up it affects your mind and body in all sorts of weird ways and once you start to feel depressed and/or stressed, you don't even realise you aren't always being totally rational about situations. All the frustration at your condition has to find an outlet somehow. Talking to someone who is completely impartial can be a great help. Hope the doctor has some good suggestions. Take care.

Demented Lil Mom · 07-17-2005, 03:05 AM

Walk away. I know everyone says that...but just do it. Just walk away and go somewhere else. Figure out why you are so angry inside, and work on that. There is no solution, unless you first find the problem.

VivC · 07-18-2005, 01:11 PM

I think you should see your doc about this. Before I switched to low-carbing and started Met, I could have written this post. I think a big part of it was depression...I tend to turn all negative emotions directly into anger. Somehow, it feels safer (at least to me).

I'm also seeing a therapist, and she's helping me tap into my real emotions before I explode in anger. I hope you get a handle on this soon. I know all too well how scary it is to lose control of yourself!

ScaredSally · 07-18-2005, 02:16 PM

Hey there ....

Just thought I would pipe in here ... I suffer from extreme swings when I am depressed and I sometimes get an uncontrolable rage at the injustic sometimes I go quite dizzy with it (no I am not ill ... I hope !!) .......]

I lash out to I completely lost it one day and kicked my steel bin in my kitchen it was ruined and I regreted it when Immediatly after .

THe depresison has me up one minute and crying the next ... I think we all show it differently.

*Shellie_Star* · 07-31-2005, 02:23 PM

Thank severyone for replying on this thread.

I just thought I'd update my situation.

I did go to see he doctor about my moods/depressions, my Dad also came with me

The doctor was shocked at how bad my moods were and is assessing my diet and checked that all the medication I'm taking don;t react with each otehr to cause depression etc.,

She gave me an antidepressant on a mild dose while she looks into it to see how I go. She said as the dose is so low, it'll mainly act to help me sleep if I take it before bedtime so maybe if I get better unbroken sleep, my moods in the daytime will improve?

Anyway, more to the point, it hasn't worked so far and I've been having occasionaly attacks of going absolutely crazy. Last week I nearly got arrested for throwing an absolute fit in the shop. It was only coz some dopey woman pushed in front of me in the que and I went bolistic, I threw my armful of shopping at the man behind the till, it went everywhere, I pushed the woman over. The securty got called but I made a swift exit.

Stuff like this can't carry on

I'm gonna get into real trouble soon I think. Once something snaps inside me I just can not stop myself pyhsically doing something stupid, whether it's hitting someone, throwing something or whatever and now it's started happening in public places it's just awful

The doctor is going to see me next week so fingers crossed.