Tired of fighting this

littleflower · 11-08-2003, 08:41 PM

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in here in awhile, normally I'm in the Mommyhood, but lately I have really been battling my depression again. I don't know if it is the time of year or the fact that we just moved from a house back into an apartment but I have been struggling to even get dressed during the day or even get my 9 month old son dressed. He's usually in his pajamas until the afternoon. I feel completely undesirable and frumpy and it doesn't help that we now have to have our son's crib in our room. He was doing great in his own room but then, for financial reasons, we had to move. I feel pretty helpless about the whole thing and find my mind going places I don't want it to go. I'm scrambling to find a way out - divorce? a job? hospitalization? Death? I'm just tired of fighting this. It's been over ten years now and I just want it to be over with. I guess this ended up sort of being a rant but thanks for listening. I am on medication now but not currently seeing a therapist since we just moved.

Littleflower

irishstjean · 11-09-2003, 01:57 AM

It certainly does sound like postpartum depression - and it sounds like you know about your symptoms. I remember feeling that way after my son was born and how hard it seemed to just coordinate the things I had to do in a day. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I sympathize with the difficult financial picture as well, I've been there and I AM there - I've considered the same options as you. Without trying to make you feel guilty, I have to say that your baby needs you to stick around and take care of yourself. Please do not do anything drastic. I have suffered from clinical depression too for the past 8 years and I know how awful it feels, but IT CAN and WILL get better. Low cost counseling is out there - try Catholic social services, etc. Speak to your OB, someone about changing your medication because it sounds like it isn't giving you much support.

Please hang in there sweetie - know that there are people out here who understand you. PLEASE email me if you need to talk - I'd be happy to listen or help in any way - irishstjean@yahoo.com

Take good care
Jen

Stacie M · 11-09-2003, 02:24 AM

I'm sending LOTS of thoughts and prayers your way...

Don't give up!! If it gets too tough ASK FOR HELP or go the ER. Don't do anything drastic.

This monster called depression can be so hard to tame, but I urge you to look for the light at the end of the tunnel and stay calm.

GOOD LUCK! I will be thinking of you...

StaciieM

daculadawg1 · 11-11-2003, 12:06 PM

I WENT THROUGH POST PARTIAM DEPRESSION TOO.
MY DD IS 6 NOW, I WAS ALMOST TO THE POINT OF SUCIDE.
PLEASE GO AND SEE A DR NOW, I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
LINDA MULL