A year ago today, was the happiest day of my life.... I was told I was pregnant. All DH & I could do was jump and scream, we shook with excitment we held each other, cried and smiled so big. We made plans, and we dreamt bigger then we ever dared to dream.
That joy was short lived though, because the next morning, our dreams were crushed. I learned that my baby was ripped away. Torn from us, silently, with out warning. Oh how we cried, how low and devastated we felt.... still feel. The dreams we dreamt the day before were gone, blown out like a candle. Erased.... silent.
The emptiness I feel inside right now is truley overwhelming, I am completely devastated all over again. Heartaching, arms empty & very much alone. Wishing my sweet child was with me today, aching so much to touch her sweet face, kiss her cheeks and hold her so tight. I don't know why she went away, or why her brother had to join her 11 1/2 months later... but I pray someday, somehow I will get to understand. I miss them SO damn much, my heart feels broken into a billion peices and I just want so much to be with them.
Thanks for letting me express my pain, I will step off my pity-party stool now and head back to my bed.
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On a TTC break...
Goal: Lose weight! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I am so sorry for your loss(es).
I hope you will have an answer to your prayers soon, and that next year you will be too filled with Joy to reflect on the feelings you are feeling today, in the same way.
Talking about your grief is a good thing, not a pity party thing. If you don't talk about it, you will have a hard time getting through it all.
Please, don't hesitate to post this kind of thing. There are many many women on this board who have been through the same thing and will hopefully bring you comfort from their own experiences.
We all need to have a place that we can rant about the unfairness of the world.
Good Luck with your TTC'ing!! Fuzzy Bear
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Me (Sharon) 51 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DH (Michael) 53
DS #3 - 17 (last one at home!)
I control my diabetes.
It does NOT control ME! ask me how!
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Metformin XR
Effexor & Wellbutrin
Remeron
Coversyl
Lipitor
Mirapex
Aldactone
Lantis long acting Insulin
NovaRapid short acting Insulin when I need it.
Oh, Yeah, and I have a Huge collection of Teddy Bears!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
__________________ Melissa 27
My DH 26
DD-Piper born 4/29/09
Married 11/23/2002
Fur Babies-Rosie & Charlie
Dx 2000
TTC #1 since February 2003
Lapbanded-5/6/2008
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Me 31 / DH 28 Married to my Dutch Boy since 12/23/2000 Cancer Survivor - Leukemia Gloucophage XR,Synthroid,Zoloft,Prenatal TTC Since 5/2004 3 IUI'S A BUST Clomid 100mgs IUI 10/27/08 BFP "I'm going to be a Mommy" Beta 15DPO -108, 17DPO - 331 1st ultrasound 12/1 - strong heartbeat 2nd ultrasound 1/5 - Heartbeat 162 IT'S A BOY!!!!! EDD 7/19/2009
Luca Allen Maarten
Born 6/28/09
5lbs 15ozs 18inches
a pity party is allowed hun....you can and should grieve any way you feel like it....one thing that really hurt me was that I tried to keep everything inside and smile because people felt like I should have been over it after a certain amount of time...or they pretended like I was never preggo....but I later crashed and it took so long for me to get up that at times I wondered if I would get up. I am so sorry for your loss, and with all of me I wish I could lighten your pain, stay strong hun...and I am always available to attend a pity party.
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Today 
Fuzzy Bear
