Today for the first time i wanted to give on god and feel so bad
i had a bad really bad day today i thought i was going to have insurance finally after so many years ,,,,,,,,,,i been married for 12 yrs now and only going to a clinic for two and have pcoc don' t ovulate i guess,,,been on metforinin for one year and clomid twice and nothing and when i thought finally i will get insurance we are not able to it too expensive not until about seven months i am 34 my clock is ticking and now this i have always had faith but today it was about to go and trust me even though i havn't had kids for 12 yrs i still did and now i am so tired and i say to god please how much more do i have to go through i was crying so much today and feel so depress i really thought i was going to have insurance and finally gp to the infertily doc. or RE and now still have to go to the clinc which doesn't do nothing and takes months to send you a appointment i feel so sad
i need some advice or what can i do ,,,and any other thing beside medication can help me ? i tell god please don't give me what i can not handle i beleve i have been through enough i lost my mother to cancer when i was five years and only have one brother my grandma raise me and its been hard i really miss my mother even at the age of 34 i feel like i have been taken a mother and now i can't even become a mother myself its not fair its to much pain so today i wanted to give up on god but i feel so bad i thought about it ...................
Ladyd ~ I am so sorry you are having to go through this! There are other things that can help with PCOS. Check out the Alternative remedies seciton on the board. Also, what has helped me is to change my diet - nothing really too extreme, I eat whole grains, cinnamon (which has been shown to help with IR), watch foods with corn syrup in them (soda, some cereals and almost any other processed foods). Basically I read labels and try to eat fresh fruits and vegis when I can. Also, excercise! I work out at least 30min. 4days a week - I try to fit in 6, but with kids it can get hard to do. That could simply be walking for you to start if you don't already workout. Some people drink green tea and there are other herbs that have been known to help out. Although with green tea you shouldn't drink it if you are TTC or PG. I hope some of that helps!
I know how hard it is to keep your faith in God when it seems as if the world is crashing down around your ears. I have been there a lot this last year and I still struggle sometimes. I wish you the best!
__________________ Tam
Me 33, Dh 32 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mother to 4 DD's
Anna DeEtte - 4/5/95
Mackenzie Grace - 7/30/04
Edyn Alexandra - 8/3/05
Kathryn Nicole - 2/26/08
Dx w/Dermoid cyst in 1994
Dx w/PCOS 10/03
Hi ladyd .... I was so sad to hear your story. I have been there too, in fact I still am. I am 32 and have been ttc for 6.5 years and have not had any insurance coverage for fertility. There has been quite a few instances where the thought ha crept into my mind of why did God do this to me. I really fell awful afterwards (like you are). I never in my wildest dreams thought that having children would be an issue. But I too am wondering how much longer I have left to actually have one of my own. When I read your message it was like reading my own life. I was also on clomid and nothing came of it. Lately though I have been trying acupuncture. I have been paying cash for it and where I live it usually runs from 75-100 dollars a treatment. I hadnt gotten AF for approximately 4 months but 4 days after my first acupuncture treatment I got AF. It has been relieving my awful cramps too. She also gives me herbs and is trying to unblock my tube.
You ARE going to feel like this from time to time.......... my DH knows that I go through it about once every two months. I have a good 3 hour cry and that makes me feel better for the moment. Just know that there are others out there. And if you need me we will get through this together.
Sending hugs to you - and God still loves you no matter what
__________________ No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
I am sorry you have had to go through so much. IF is such a terrible thing. I am 33 and I know how you feel about the biological clock ticking thing. We don't have IF insurance either and I have actually considered seeking a job that has IF insurance. Crazy I know, but if I starting looking for a job, I will seek one with IF benefits.
Please don't give up on God because he has certainly not forgotten about you. I love to read in the Bible about Abraham and Sarah. God promised him his offspring was goign to be as numerous as the stars in the sky. I think it was nearly 25 years later, at around 100 years of age when God finally fulfilled his promise.
I will pray for you, that God will give you strength.
Aw, love! I know you feel like that clock's ticking but 34 isn't so old! I had my last baby at 41 and my PCOS was really bad, so there is hope! It's nothing to do with faith, or the lack of it - just your body, and reality. Just take care of yourself physically and see what happens...
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
thank you to all you ladies i cried reading all your post but i am bettter
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyd
i had a bad really bad day today i thought i was going to have insurance finally after so many years ,,,,,,,,,,i been married for 12 yrs now and only going to a clinic for two and have pcoc don' t ovulate i guess,,,been on metforinin for one year and clomid twice and nothing and when i thought finally i will get insurance we are not able to it too expensive not until about seven months i am 34 my clock is ticking and now this i have always had faith but today it was about to go and trust me even though i havn't had kids for 12 yrs i still did and now i am so tired and i say to god please how much more do i have to go through i was crying so much today and feel so depress i really thought i was going to have insurance and finally gp to the infertily doc. or RE and now still have to go to the clinc which doesn't do nothing and takes months to send you a appointment i feel so sad
i need some advice or what can i do ,,,and any other thing beside medication can help me ? i tell god please don't give me what i can not handle i beleve i have been through enough i lost my mother to cancer when i was five years and only have one brother my grandma raise me and its been hard i really miss my mother even at the age of 34 i feel like i have been taken a mother and now i can't even become a mother myself its not fair its to much pain so today i wanted to give up on god but i feel so bad i thought about it ...................
i am better today ,,, i still believe in god and ask him for forgiveness when i do doubt him,,, i thank all of you for posting this is the best web site i been in cysters you have me strength and i feel very appreicative to all ,,,,i did have a depressing day but like one of you said yes i to get those days where i just cry every other monthe to me is when i have the family reunions mostly but i am doing bettter i pray to god to give me strength to to keep going and accept the things i can not change and courage to face the ones in front of me in the present and will power to get up and start all over again ,,,thanks girls and sending you some of the few good vibes i have BUT don't worry i will recharge tomorrow is another day,,,,,,,,,,,
Oh honey I know how you feel. I often feel like God has just turned His back on me but I realize I have turned mine on Him. I find when I don't pray daily and try to have the relationship with Him that I need to have that is when I get into a slump. Often time God puts us through trials to make our faith in Him stronger. Just remember He will never lead you to something and leave you. He will always bring you through it. He never leaves you even though you may feel alone He is there for you. Waiting on you to call on Him.
Keep your faith and trust fully in Him.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS for 11 years
Me(28) DH(34)
Married 6 years To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oh honey I know how you feel. I often feel like God has just turned His back on me but I realize I have turned mine on Him. I find when I don't pray daily and try to have the relationship with Him that I need to have that is when I get into a slump. Often time God puts us through trials to make our faith in Him stronger. Just remember He will never lead you to something and leave you. He will always bring you through it. He never leaves you even though you may feel alone He is there for you. Waiting on you to call on Him.
Today for the first time i wanted to give on god and feel so bad 
I am so sorry you are having to go through this! There are other things that can help with PCOS. Check out the Alternative remedies seciton on the board. Also, what has helped me is to change my diet - nothing really too extreme, I eat whole grains, cinnamon (which has been shown to help with IR), watch foods with corn syrup in them (soda, some cereals and almost any other processed foods). Basically I read labels and try to eat fresh fruits and vegis when I can. Also, excercise! 
I work out at least 30min. 4days a week - I try to fit in 6, but with kids it can get hard to do. That could simply be walking for you to start if you don't already workout. Some people drink green tea and there are other herbs that have been known to help out. Although with green tea you shouldn't drink it if you are TTC or PG. I hope some of that helps!
thank you to all you ladies i cried reading all your post but i am bettter 
