truly confused. please help me. i feel overwhelmed

cenicienta · 08-30-2005, 04:19 AM

hello,
today i received the results of my blood work and my doctor diagnosed it as PCOS. i had a feeling it was either that or hypothyroidism judging by the brief research that i have done. really have just let the situation sink into me, and i've been crying my eyes out. i feel completely dismal. i know others have this, i know that, but i'm very frustrated. it's for reasons i need to explain below. here is some background information.

i'm 19, becoming a college sophomore. in high school my periods were a bit irregular with their cycle but i never skipped them. and i had some skin irregularities, acne and eczema and whatnot, but it was never enough to make me think there was an underlying cause. over this summer i noticed some facial hair growth, enough for me to notice. that paired with the fact i was getting my periods around twice a month freaked me out, and i felt the need to get blood tests. i was also feeling particularly down and depressed and it started to come together my hormones were wacky. so i had my bloodwork, and today i found out i had PCOS. the acne, hair on my face and irregular periods definitely make sense. but there's more.

from ages 11-13 i struggled with severe anorexia and was in the hospital at the age of 12 for inpatient treatment. in HS i struggled with it but was definitely a lot healthier. certainly of normal weight, although i've always had a sluggish metabolism from not eating well. i had always thought the irregularities with my menstrual cycle, and even some of the skin conditions, came from when i was really suffering from an eating disorder. i am currently of normal weight and everything i read about PCOS indicates that weight loss will make the condition better. with my train of thought, i fear that the encouragement to diet, restrict carbohydrates and exercise will make me take it to the extreme. i know that this disease in many ways will throw a wrench in my recovery of an eating disorder. i'm reading that cutting out food groups, keepng a strict diet and going to the gym regularly will help me..but i have often overdone it with exercise and i don't want to perpetuate my fears of certain foods. that becomes very obsessive with me. i have been working so hard to fight an eating disorder and feeling a lot more comfortable as of late. i am not over or underweight but always, always self conscious of my body and wanting to be thinner no matter where I fall. seeing the encouragement to lose weight and diet for PCOS has really triggered me feeling awful...like the only thing that will improve it, are the habits that I have been obsessive with. I don't want this to rule my lfe but now i'm fighting both a physical and mental llness. it's hard seeing that eating less and weighing less will make things better when i was once starving myself to the point of getting sick. i want to be rational about this but i fear that my new diagnosis is going to cause me to relapse due to the fact i was told to watch certain foods, meals, etc. no one has told me to lose weight as of yet but it seems like everyone i've talked to suffering from PCOS was encouraged to be on a strict diet. I want a normal relationship wiht food where I'm not obsessing but at this point I feel like that might worsen now that I have PCOS. I

is there any correlation at all between PCOS and people who suffered at one point from an eating disorder? I don't know if there is even a cause of PCOS but do they ever tie into one another?

I am also starting Metformin, and want to know what to expect. I find myslef prone to side effects and am afraid of becoming extremely sick from it. Half of the responses regarding Met seem to be very positive and others say that it has made them even sicker. I live by myself and am starting classes and scared at the prospect of being sick from Metformin. I know about the possible diarrhea and nausea, and although no one wants to deal with that, I have dealt with it in the past. But is there more I need to know? How does it impact appetite and weight? Dizziness, cramps, anything? I really don't know how I'll react to it. But I'm worried about taking it if it will make me worse.

I'm worried period. I have no idea how to go about this. Earlier after I heard the news it hadn't really hit me. But now it has, and I keep thinking of things that I'm afraid of. Thank you for reading this. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to sabotage my eating disorder recovery, or become physically/mentally sicker. I need some help and information or anything really..it would be so appreciated. Again, thank you for reading this. I'm relieved to find this board.

omcv · 08-30-2005, 04:28 AM

I was on Met for two months and did great and then all of a sudden got ill. After a trip to the emergency room I was taken off Met and was told I would not be able to go back on it. I did loss 15 pounds and my periods are getting regular .. though still not sure if I am Oing. The Met works differently with everyone. My only suggestions are keep the dose low (250 or 500) and work up slowly to the dose you dr wants it to be at.

Kir · 08-30-2005, 04:43 AM

First of all, welcome! I completely understand your concerns regarding your eating disorder. I had a breaf run in with one myself and am doing well now. The day I was diagnosed I got straight on the internet and everything I found said to loose weight and exercise. I worried about that because I do not need to loose weight and I already do exercise. But when I spoke to my doctor she said that that is a gide line for those suffering PCOS and weight issues. That those that are overweight tend to hav worse symptoms and for them it would be in their benifite to loose some weight (ladies I mean no offence by this and I'm relitively new to this myself, I'm just saying what I was told) She advised that I don't allow myself to obsess about food, just carry on eating smart and don't worry about loosing weight. I should think the same for you. If weight is not a problem for you, loosing anymore and developing another eating disorder will NOT HELP YOU! there is a forum on her for thin cysters, go and check it out.

I know that it can be verry daunting to be diagnosed, but at least you now know what the porblem is and are on the right track to sort it out.

I can't help you with the Metformin, I have also read about the side effects, I've read that the nausea and diarrhea can last form one to three months but that it is infact a verry good drug to be taing for the PCOS. I hadn't gotten my prescription filled yet when I decsovered that I am pregnant but depending on what's going on with my body after the baby I may be taking it then. I think you should give it a try. If you have any other side effects other than nausea and diarrhea call yuor docter and descuss alternatives.

Good luck sweetie. I know your overwhelmed right now, but this is not the end of the world for you Just don't get sucked into thinking you need to loose weight if you do not. With the right meds and smart food choices you'll be just fine. The women on this site are wonderful and full of support, feel free to ask anything on your mind and you can pm me if you need to chat. (((HUGS)))

Jeanie2005 · 08-30-2005, 02:32 PM

Very well said Kirsty. I couldn't agree more with what you said.

Ceni.. I am new here too..and actually awaiting my blood work results.

I really don't have much to offer but I wanted to send out **hugs** and say that I do totally agree w/ what Kirsty said. No need for you to lose weight. Try the forum here for women who are thin and have PCOS. I find out on the 7th if I have PCOS or what.. if I do..maybe we can work through all the frustration and confusion together.

jenpalmer71 · 08-30-2005, 03:26 PM

Ceni....
Welcome to SoulCysters. I understand your frustration completely. I gained 90 pounds in 4 years and had no explanation for it. Doctor after doctor just kept testing my thyroid. So I NEED to lose some weight which is a different story than for you. There is a thin-cysters forum on here that you should check out. The reason that you see so much info on losing-weight and restricting your diet in regards to having PCOS is because the majority (but not ALL) women with PCOS ARE overweight. You, my dear, are the exception. I cried too. Most of probably did. Getting diagnosed with something is SCARY stuff. But you know how I look at it.....it is completely managable, it won't kill me if I take control of it and it's ALOT more common then you may think. Please don't let this dignosis make you think you need to lose weight!!!! It's just not so!! Met didn't make me very sick. Just gave me an upset tummy for a week or so. But since being on it, I have a clearer head, pani-attacks and anxiety issues have completely DISAPPEARED and I have lost 34 pounds (I needed to!!)....if you ever want to chat or anything, please don't hesitate to IM me on yahoo or email me. There are lots of wonderful women there to support you.....LET US!!!

ZMAZ32 · 08-30-2005, 03:41 PM

I just want to say welcome and try to take a deep breath. I know there is a forum for thin cysters so you might find the info you need there. We all have aspects of this syndrome that are different from others, which is why its so hard to diagnose. Check out the different areas here and take what applies to you but leave what doesn't.

The only thing I would say about diet is to keep it healthy. Dont try to lose anything just eat the best you can!

Terri22 · 08-30-2005, 04:11 PM

Ceni, welcome.

I know how overwhelming PCOS can be at first, and it must seem even more so to you, given your history with eating disorders. The most important thing is that you feel as empowered and good about yourself as possible.

It is my hope for you that the information you find at soulcysters will help alleviate your fears, not add to them. It is easy to obsess about food with this condition, so you are not alone. Please remember, not everyone with PCOS needs to lose weight. I am a thin cyster as well, but I didn't always eat healthy on a consistent basis. The important thing is for you to be at a healthy weight for your height and to be eating a balanced diet. By all means, ask your doctor her/his opinion on your weight and whether you need to do anything differently.

Excercise is a good idea for stress management even if you don't need to lose weight. The endorphins produced will help with relaxation. This doesn't mean you need to spend hours in the gym...do something fun that you enjoy.

As a college student, you might have access to a body image support group on campus. There are lots of girls your age dealing with similar issues (maybe even PCOS, who knows?) If there isn't one, maybe you could start one with the help of student counselors on campus.

I know you will find ways to take excellent care of yourself without obsessing. You have learned from your past experiences, for sure, and there is lots of support available on this site.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

-T

SnowFlower · 08-30-2005, 04:46 PM

welcome and hang in there

CathyWood · 09-01-2005, 04:02 PM

Hi Welcome to SC. Glad you are here. See you around.