ttc after miscarriage...harder than i thought

Daisy811 · 09-26-2009, 02:46 PM

This is a little bit of a vent, so read if you want...

I miscarried last month and had a d and c on August 12. Now, I can't tell if I have my first period or not because it is so light. My doctor's office said to count it as my period and go on clomid tomorrow through Thursday. But what if it isn't my period and I'm screwing up a whole cycle by going on clomid too soon? I really just want to get the show on the road because I've reached the point where the only way I can deal with my miscarriage is to ttc again. But I also don't want to do something wrong by going on meds when my body isn't ready for them.

Because of the miscarriage, I know that I have more anxiety about ttc, which is bad. I also know that when I can't to anything to control situations, I get upset. And I'm so frustrated that I have to wait for nature to take it's course instead of controlling the details! My patience is being tested, which is making my anxiety so much worse.

How can I deal with my emotions? TTC after a miscarriage is so hard. How can I deal with the stress, anxiety, sadness, and hopefullness that I'm feeling right now? My emotions are being pulled in too many directions and it's hard to cope with them all. Even though ttc was emotionally difficult before, it is so much harder now that I've lost one.

AnotherDreamer · 09-26-2009, 04:16 PM

I'm sorry for your loss (*hugs*)

I've had two myself, and I can definitely relate.

I find ways to provide a healthy outlet for my feelings, like writing, art projects, my blog, talking to other ladies about it... anything to get it out, and sort through them. Left to their own devices they really pile up and get confusing.

I'm actually on a TTC buddy group on here for TTC after a loss, you can join us if you want. Here's the link if you're interested:
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As for your cycle... I believe they normally tell you to wait a few cycles after a D&C so that the body can completely replenish the lining. With a natural m/c they say to just wait one cycle, but with a D&C they have you wait longer since the lining has been completely scraped. I personally, if I were in your shoes, would wait one more cycle at least because a light AF sounds like the lining may not be ready yet.

Best wishes, and I hope you can find the support you need.

theOceanicSix · 09-26-2009, 06:31 PM

I would wait one more cycle until going on the Clomid. I actually ovulated on my own the month after my D&C.
It's also hard to tell about your period after a D&C because your body needs time to get back to normal. I think I waited about 7 full weeks until I had an actual regular flow period.
As for dealing with it emotionally, I really don't know. My miscarriage was 9 months ago and it still haunts me. With time it has gotten easier, definitely. But I don't think I will ever completely get over it.

Im_me · 09-26-2009, 10:43 PM

I'm with the others, I would wait another cycle or two to start clomid. Your lining right now might be too thin & clomid has been known to thin it out. If you are going to go ahead with it, make sure to take baby/low dose asprin also.
As far as dealing with your m/c, I dunno what to tell you there. My angels will be 7 & 2 soon & I still have moments where it feels like I lost them both just yesterday. It's hard & noone should ever have to deal with that kind of pain. Personally after my first m/c (I was father along, close to 14wks) I took a while off to deal with my emotions & heal. A few months off turned into almost 2yrs, but it's what I needed at the time. I filled my time with books, new crafts & weekend vacations, inbetween times I hid & cried as much as I wanted. With my 2nd I handled it a little better, I got my BFP & started m/c the next day so I wasn't that far along. I didn't feel as connected.