TTC Chat and Support... continued from original TTC thread

drchickon · 04-16-2008, 05:10 PM

Welcome! This thread is for us women loving cysters to talk about our unique experiences and challenges in TTC or in thinking about TTC and to provide support and share our experiences. Supportive friends welcome!

Original Thread: Ttc?

Bree-and-Izy · 04-16-2008, 06:37 PM

Thanks dr.

Sagestory: Yea I actually did run across the other thread and just had to stay out of it because I get too worked up. Some people I know were saying exactly what I would have said, so I stayed out of it. I just think that this world hasn't come very far when people don't even realize that they are insulting other people.

As far as DW being the one TTC... she definitely had that desire and I did not. It doesn't always make my family the happiest, but they love out DD to bits. They just want a little izy. My friends get it... but I just tell people that DW shouldn't be kept from having children simply because she has PCOS. It's not my thing. I love my DD but not interested in giving birth to one. lol

drchickon · 04-16-2008, 07:14 PM

Izy & Sage - My DW never wanted children - not one little bit. So for a while our relationship was rocky because that was a dealbreaker for me. Then as she watched her friends have kids, she decided she did want one. But she never had any desire to carry a child, which worked out great because I have always wanted to. And to do it multiple times. She's now vaguely interested in possibly carrying the next time around - which would be incredibly difficult for me. I am not ok with never being pregnant again and never having that experience again. But I am also not ok with denying her that experience if she truly wants to do it. So, when we actually get ready to try for the second one, we will have to talk about it more.

As far as people asking why I carried, I don't so much mind. It seems like people are curious and I think I want people to feel comfortable asking me questions - if they see how mundane the decision really was it stops being this exotic phenomenon they think about. I'm generally open to answering questions borne of true curiousity (asked respectfully) because I think educating people about this stuff allows them to gain an understanding - which is key to building tolerance and acceptance.

Bree-and-Izy · 04-16-2008, 07:25 PM

dr: I think you make a good point. I have had people say to me "it's a legitimate question" ... I suppose it is. I am very private in general, so am more likely to be put off. I don't mind when people ask certain things but I guess I can't expect them to read my mind. It's never bothered me on SC... I suppose it just bothers me when people act like DW shouldn't be able to have a baby because I have a perfectly good uterus and we wouldn't have such a hard time otherwise. DW isn't ok with not carrying the babies either. Sometimes I feel bad for my poor little uterus that isn't going to see any action, but I still have basically no desire. lol

drchickon · 04-16-2008, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bree-and-Izy

dr: I suppose it just bothers me when people act like DW shouldn't be able to have a baby because I have a perfectly good uterus and we wouldn't have such a hard time otherwise.

Yeah, that bothers me too. A uterus is not just a uterus. It's about desire and choice and fulfillment. And I let people know that when they give me that attitude. Also, though, my DW also has PCOS and would have no easier time then me TTC, so if I don't feel like going into it, we have a quick and easy answer.

Ha, you cracked me up with you "poor little uterus going to see no action".

sagestory · 04-16-2008, 10:05 PM

What bothers me is that people still don't seem to really be able to understand us a lot of times. I mean, I still see a lot of ignorance and even really inappropriate comments made by people who just don't get it... especially when it comes to GLBT parents. I used to be a paying member of a fertility website and I hung out in the chat room quite a bit. I was floored by the members who would talk about how gay people should not be parents... can't stand people like that. Seems like we should have come further by now but apparently we haven't.

I don't mind sharing when someone asks me a question because they genuinely don't know and want to know. However, I've had a lot of people ask questions under the guise that they really are open-minded and it turned out that they treated me like some kind of freak show... wth? I'm glad we're able to have more of a dialog about GLBT issues... I just hope we can move forward with acceptance.

We all have our own reasons for wanting or not wanting to carry a child... and they're valid reasons... heck even hetero women have that... I've had many hetero female friends who had no desire to carry a child and either adopted or chose not to have children. I think it's weird that people think we're weird or don't get it LOL

And btw drchickon... your little guy is the cutest!

Bree-and-Izy · 04-17-2008, 01:32 PM

Hey guys we had a BFP on a FRER HPT yesterday and then two BFN's with the same urine. We had two BFN's this morning. All those BFN's were confirmed with a negative beta. DW is really upset. I'm doing ok, not great but ok. Maybe next time.

sagestory · 04-17-2008, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bree-and-Izy

Hey guys we had a BFP on a FRER HPT yesterday and then two BFN's with the same urine. We had two BFN's this morning. All those BFN's were confirmed with a negative beta. DW is really upset. I'm doing ok, not great but ok. Maybe next time.

I'm really sorry

It's SO hard to get a BFP and get hopes up only to find out that you're really not pg... what a huge let-down.

Bree-and-Izy · 04-17-2008, 06:22 PM

Thanks.

It is hard. I'm ok today.. we'll see how it goes.

sagestory · 04-17-2008, 06:27 PM

Izy, have you guys decided what you will do next cycle?

drchickon · 04-17-2008, 06:39 PM

Izy - I'm so sorry. This is such a difficult journey. I'll be thinking of you guys.

Bree-and-Izy · 04-17-2008, 08:32 PM

thanks dr. We are waiting to hear back from the RE to see if he will do an HSG in the evening since DW cannot get off of work for two more cycles. We should know by monday. If he can't do it we are hoping that he will do the injectables either way. If he wont we will go to our other dr and see if we can do femara and gonal f combo. I think the clomid has been killing cm and as it stands at this moment we may not be able to do an IUI. We got our BFP with DD with ICI... so no reason it shouldn't work, just need better cm. Best case senario we will be able to do hsg and then move on to a cycle with gonal f and iui - that's the best case senario.

drchickon · 04-17-2008, 08:43 PM

Izy - Have you tried Pre-Seed for the CM issue?

Bree-and-Izy · 04-18-2008, 12:35 AM

dr. yep... we tried it the last three times. I has hoped it would work... but i guess not.

justduckie · 04-18-2008, 11:23 PM

I just found this new posting...I keep updated via emails!!! I just wanted to chime in on this subject.
Dr~ it is so funny reading your reply (from 4/16) because I feel EXACTLY the same why you do. My DW has not had the desire to be pg until I became pg, now is slightly considering. The only difference is that we both have always wanted to have children, I want less of them than her, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. I just found you post ironic.
Izy~ Sorry to hear about your bfn. Keep your chin up.
Sage~ I think you are correct. Just last week, I had my primary dr. say to me " So I see u are in a lesbian relationship ( which he evidentally noted in my medical records) and are obviously pg, so did you just borrow a male friend to get pg or did you do IVF?" I was floored by this question because I was there to see him for a sinus infection. So, needless to say, I won't be seeing him again!!