TTC - Telling your boss

ickle pand · 05-07-2009, 12:40 PM

Hi there,

I've been a member of this site for years but have been away for a while. I need some advice though. My fiance and I have been referred to a fertility clinic since we've been TTC for over a year with no luck and a series of ovulation tests didn't show any signs of ovulation. This is all well and good and we're quite excited that things are moving in the right direction, however, I'm not sure whether or not to mention anything to my boss, obviously if things progress further there is a possibility of frequent hospital appointments, being emotional etc etc. However, I don't want it to be used against me. I mean most people would never tell their boss they were TTC if they weren't being referred to a fertility clinic, so should I just treat it like that?

Just wondering what everyone else did/thinks I should do. I'm asking this here because obviously British employment law is different to American etc.

Amanda

Eva37 · 05-08-2009, 07:39 AM

welcome back

i dont have any advise, sorry, but im sure one of the uk girls will know the answers for you.
eva

ickle pand · 05-08-2009, 07:45 AM

Hiya Eva!

Thanks for the reply, good to hear from you. Hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice

Eva37 · 05-08-2009, 07:55 AM

im sure someone wil be able to help you, hon.

dillydaydreams · 05-08-2009, 06:14 PM

Hi,
I live in Ireland.
Just to say we told our boss when we were going to fertility clinic and found it was the only way. I know it is private etc but if it does come to IVf etc it is very difficult to plan ahead as the clinic visits are determined by how the woman's body reacts to the drugs etc.
However if you would like to keep things private if you are just going through investigation etc then it is possible to book days off.
I think in the beginning we just booked time off for appointments, then when we needed to tell boss's etc they were very supportive, so try not to worry.
Also just to say good luck with it all.

Greenstar · 05-08-2009, 06:21 PM

Hi Amanda

I wouldn't tell your boss just yet. I did however mention to my manager that I would be attending a few medical appointments when the time came to attend these appointments. I did not go into detail on what these appointments were as I felt it had nothing to do with the manager. Depending on where you work some companies allow you to attend appointments in work time. Some companies ask you to make the time up.

When me and dh were going through ivf I mentioned the infertility to my manager. this was a year later. At first she was genuinely sympathetic and willing to give me the time off. the more appointments I attended the more arsey (mind my language) she would get with me. It got to a stage where I was completely stressed out and was willing to take time off as annual leave although I shouldn't have had to. However, one of the managers intervened and all was well. I would be very careful in mentioning the treatment just yet. Test the waters. Some managers up front would be more than willing but some can make life very difficult. It all depends on what type of relationship you have with your manager.

One advice I would give is not to mention anything to your work peers. In a matter of minutes the whole office could be talking about your infertility and it can be quite upsetting. I have only told a few of my colleagues whom I trust and so far none of them have said anything to anyone else. Good luck xx

sarah jane parr · 05-10-2009, 09:05 AM

Hi, i thought i would say what i did

I actually told my bosses about ttc because most of my appointments were at the hospital when i should be working so i felt it was best to be honest with them. Which they all respected me and understood why i needed to go to the appointments.
You don't have to tell your bosses as it really isn't any of their business, but i chose the other option. I am just too honest about things!!!!
Hope this has helped.

m_2008 · 05-11-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ickle pand

Hi there,

I've been a member of this site for years but have been away for a while. I need some advice though. My fiance and I have been referred to a fertility clinic since we've been TTC for over a year with no luck and a series of ovulation tests didn't show any signs of ovulation. This is all well and good and we're quite excited that things are moving in the right direction, however, I'm not sure whether or not to mention anything to my boss, obviously if things progress further there is a possibility of frequent hospital appointments, being emotional etc etc. However, I don't want it to be used against me. I mean most people would never tell their boss they were TTC if they weren't being referred to a fertility clinic, so should I just treat it like that?

Just wondering what everyone else did/thinks I should do. I'm asking this here because obviously British employment law is different to American etc.

Amanda

Hiya Amanda,

I think for me it would depend on my boss IYKWIM. I told my boss as soon as I got pregnant (fortunately only needed small amount of investigation) as I was bleeding and was on bed rest. He was great and nobody knew until I was 14 weeks. Even his wife that worked with us both. But I imagine with certain people I would keep it to myself. The other reason I told my boss is I know certain people were 'talking' about my being off work. Making out I was a slacker basically. When I revealed my pregnancy she looked like an idiot. Especially when everyone knew how sick I'd been. But I wanted my boss to know that so if any of the gossip got back to him he would be able to brush it off.

I guess if you have a good relationship with your boss then I would tell them. Especially if the appointments are going to be short notice and you may feel ill at work.

HTH and Good Luck x x

Pinkflutterby · 06-16-2009, 07:42 AM

I'm in the same position as you, in that the more into the process we go, the more time I need to take off.

I would say the same as everyone else, if you have an excellent relationship with your manager then let them know. However you could just let HR know if you are uncomfortable with that.

Hope it all goes well!

ickle pand · 06-23-2009, 08:22 AM

Thanks for all the replies.

Unfortunately the day after I posted this I got laid off from my job so the problem has been put off for a while.

I'm still job hunting at the moment so we're putting TTC on the back burner for now. The fertility doctor wants me to lose weight anyway so I'm concentrating on that for now. It's a blessing in a way - we're getting married next May so getting pregnant in the next few of months wouldn't be the best timing anyway.

Thanks again for the replies

Amazingwoo · 07-10-2009, 09:07 AM

Hi,

I told my HR department as they need to keep a record of my appointments just incase my absence is questioned in an Audit.

I daresay something was mentioned to my boss, but nothing has been said back to me.

x